bu Page 311 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This Is A Cool Football Photo
Low-angle end-zone photographs already make the NFL look like a video game, and the Dolphins’ newly renovated stadium, plus a lovely sky, makes everything here feel slightly sharper than reality....
NFL Will Review Vontaze Burfict's Latest Dirty Hit
Yesterday was only Vontaze Burfict’s third game of the season—the Bengals LB missed the first three with a suspension for, functionally, all the dirty shit he’s done—and he’s already in fine form. ESPN’s Adam Schefter reports the NFL is reviewing a low hit he put on Patriots tight end Martellus Benn...
How It Feels To Be Losing To The Dolphins
Lawrence Timmons is doing just great, everybody....
Bills Fan Drinks Booze Out Of Butt
A man in a LeSean McCoy jersey drank some alcohol through a pair of buttcheeks at today’s tailgate. Who needs an ice luge when you can use a butt luge?...
Evander Kane Hospitalized After Violently Slamming Into Boards
Sabres winger Evander Kane left this evening’s game against the Canadiens after he fell onto his back then smashed into the boards while chasing after a dumped puck....
The Florida Panthers Are All Wearing José Fernández Jerseys Tonight
The Florida Panthers paid tribute to José Fernández this evening en masse by all wearing Fernández’s number 16 jersey for their season opener. Here they are taking the ice....
Brent And Miko Grimes Owe The Feds Almost $200,000
Vulgar Florida football power couple Brent and Miko Grimes owe $191,471.70 to the IRS. A lien was filed today on a house the couple own in Miami, and the Miami Herald first reported on the Grimeses’ tax issues. As you can probably guess, Miko is not happy with them....
Jack Eichel Leaves Practice With Nasty-Looking Injury
The NHL season starts tonight, and it looks like Buffalo will enter it without their franchise player. Jack Eichel suffered an injury to what looked like his left knee or ankle in this morning’s practice and had to be helped off. [Update: Sabres coach Dan Bylsma confirmed it was the ankle.]...
Even-Year Bullshit Is Dead
The San Francisco Giants’ success in even years has run its course, and we can all breathe easy that there is in fact no higher power devoted to San Francisco baseball....
Colin Kaepernick Will Start Against The Bills
San Francisco 49ers head coach Chip Kelly named Colin Kaepernick the starting quarterback for this Sunday’s game against the Buffalo Bills. Blaine Gabbert will be the backup QB. The 49ers are 1-4 this season....
The Panthers Are In Real Trouble
The defending NFC champs are seeing their season slip away faster than anyone could have predicted. After last night’s 17-14 loss to the Buccaneers, Carolina is now just the fifth team (of 100) to make a Super Bowl appearance and start the next season 1-4 or worse—the first since the 2004 Panthers....
Roberto Aguayo Goes From Goat To Hero By Finally Making A Field Goal<em></em>
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers are a mediocre, waterlogged 2-3 team and the biggest story of their season is the fragile psyche of their kicker, who they traded up to draft in the second round. Roberto Aguayo was the most accurate kicker in college football history, but he struggled throughout the preseas...
Hitters Still Can't Touch Madison Bumgarner But A Pitcher Just Knocked One Of His Balls To Fiji
If failure is success in Silicon Valley, then Madison Bumgarner is a champion tonight. The Giants ace, last seen choking the life out of the Mets, is laying an egg in an must-win against the Cubs. He came into the game with a streak of 23 straight scoreless innings in elimination games, but managed ...
Yale Apologizes For "Dehumanizing Images Of Redface" In Football Program
Yale and Dartmouth played their 100th football game against each other this weekend. Yale won, 21-13, for their first win of the season, but the historic victory was overshadowed by their own efforts to commemorate and honor the rivalry. Yale printed out special programs for the game, which were ado...
Sidney Crosby Has A Concussion
Pittsburgh Penguins center Sidney Crosby has been diagnosed with a concussion, the team announced today....
Pinch-Hitter Madison Bumgarner Ends Up On Second In The Weirdest Way
With the Giants already down 1-0 in the NLDS, Jeff Samardzija was rightly yanked after just two innings tonight, having given up four runs on six hits....
The Collected Wisdom Of Sex Aficionado Billy Bush
Donald Trump claiming that stardom affords him the right to “Grab them by the pussy. You can do anything,” is certainly the wildest and lewdest thing caught on tape in a video published by the Washington Post this afternoon. ...