bu Page 377 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Sidney Crosby Breaks Stick Slashing Artem Anisimov
Here's Sidney Crosby getting pissed at Artem Anisimov in the second period of Game 6 against the Blue Jackets and lashing out by swinging his stick at his legs. Crosby's stick broke and the slash earned him two minutes in the penalty box, but the Penguins beat Columbus 4-3 and took the series 4-2....

Cheerleader Completes Routine Even After Being Consumed By Jersey
You want to know what professionalism is? It's a cheerleader for the NLL's Buffalo Bandits, going through her moves even with an oversized jersey covering her face. Keep an eye on the woman in the second row, on the far left....

Why Sidney Crosby Got Booed In Pittsburgh
Let's mince no words here in saying that Sidney Crosby, the greatest active hockey player in the universe, is the reason that the Pittsburgh Penguins are not currently playing their home games in Kansas City. He is beloved in his adopted hometown, but when you're as good as he is, love only gets you...

The Fast-Food Bacon Wars: McDonald's Goes High, Burger King Goes Low
Over the past decade, the American burgersphere has been shaped by three major forces: The first and most odious is the grind-your-own contingent's constant harping about how to flip a fucking hamburger. Having declared victory in their charcoal-fueled war against convenience (gas grills are still m...

Running Apparel Company Oiselle Sponsors Baseball Team
The Bend Elks Baseball Club, a college summer team with comical proofreading skills, announced on Saturday that women's running apparel company Oiselle had become its "Tiitle sponsor."...

Annie Bersagel Wins Dusseldorf Marathon, Other U.S. Women Fear
People already asked the question "Who the hell is Annie Bersagel?" before she won the 2014 Dusseldorf Marathon on Sunday, per journalist Alberto Stretti. ...

Nene Suspended One Game For Head-Butting Jimmy Butler
Wizards big man Nene has been suspended for Game 4 against the Bulls after this altercation with Jimmy Butler. Early in the fourth quarter of the Bulls win over Washington, Nene head-butted Butler, then grabbed him around the head and neck, and the two had to be pulled apart by referees and teamma...

Joakim Noah Got Into A Shouting Match With Wizards' Security
NBA teams enjoy many advantages when playing on their home court, but the Washington Wizards appear to have one thing going for them that others don't: a head of security who isn't afraid to get into it with visiting players....

Budweiser Black Crown Vs. Miller Fortune: A Prestige-Beer Showdown
Craft beer has become so embedded in our drinking culture that TGI Fridays sells Sierra Nevada, Lagunitas sponsors This American Life, and your dipshit coworker's last batch of homebrew was actually kinda good, in a way, if you're into chipotle märzens. ...

NFL Prospect Bradley Roby Disputes Report Of His OVI Through Twitter
NFL draft prospect Bradley Roby was reportedly charged with an OVI—operating a vehicle impaired—on April 20 in Columbus, Ohio. But today, Roby took to Twitter to dispute the accuracy of that report, and he had some tangible evidence....

Insane Handbook: Bills Cheerleaders Are Told How To Wash Their Vaginas
There are a few things you need to know if you want to be a successful Buffalo Bills cheerleader. “When menstruating, use a product that [sic] right for your menstrual flow,” reads the “General hygiene & lady body maintenance” section of the handbook given to cheerleaders, known as the Jills. “A tam...

How To Cheat, Do Drugs, And Succeed At Baseball, By Dock Ellis
We're big fans of Dock Ellis, obviously, so we enjoyed this latest animated short, narrated by the man himself and excerpted from Donnell Alexander's Beyond Ellis D. Honestly, listening to Dock Ellis talk about drugs, cheating, and Gaylord Perry is almost as much fun as listening to Vin Scully talk...

Blue Jackets Fan Mixes Up His BJs
Ohio is catching Blue Jackets fever! Last night, ESPN's Browns writer Tony Grossi learned a little bit about his local hockey team, and also acronyms:...

Marc-Andre Fleury Reverts To Type
Because it's the Cup, we got bad Marc-Andre Fleury....

Blue Jackets Win In OT After Marc-Andre Fleury's Screwup In Regulation
The Blue Jackets won their second playoff game ever when Nick Foligno flicked a long shot past Penguins goalie Marc-Andre Fleury. But how the Pens blow a 3-0 lead in the first period? Let's go back to the end of regulation....

Even The Chicago Bulls' Security Staff Is Sick Of Joey Crawford's Shit
The Chicago Bulls have set up a kind of text-message hotline that fans can use to hail the assistance of the arena's security team. Reader Dave was at the game between the Bulls and the Wizards last night, and he tried his luck at getting referee Joey Crawford—who made a number of bad calls and whom...

Did Nene's Whistle From The Bench Make Hinrich Miss His Foul Shot? (No.)
Last night in overtime of the Wizards-Bulls game, Kirk Hinrich went to the line with 2.4 seconds left, the score 101-99, and a chance to tie the game. But he missed! How could this be? Last night, we thought it was because he was a clutch gene-free, low-motor choke artist. But today, we may have our...

Uganda Suspends Track Coach Who Told Girls "You Must Have Sex Or Give Birth"
Peter Wemali, coach of the Ugandan national junior running team, has been suspended following allegations of systematic mental, physical and sexual child abuse. One anonymous runner — wait, let's call her what she is: a girl — spoke to the Daily Monitor, and the scene is predictably horrific:...

We Should All Aspire To Have A LinkedIn Profile Like Shaq's
No, this is not fake. Our pals at Slate have confirmed that Shaq's LinkedIn profile does indeed list the NBA legend's occupation as "Owner, a lot of companies." God bless you, Shaq....
