bu Page 378 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
We Should All Aspire To Have A LinkedIn Profile Like Shaq's
No, this is not fake. Our pals at Slate have confirmed that Shaq's LinkedIn profile does indeed list the NBA legend's occupation as "Owner, a lot of companies." God bless you, Shaq....
Buffalo Bills Publish Report That Head Coach Has "BLANK TYPE OF CANCER"
The Buffalo Bills published an article which reported head coach Doug Marrone had cancer. Though Marrone may have planned to announce his cancer, the story looks to be prematurely published, since "BLANK TYPE OF CANCER" is still in the dek....
Searching For Tom Lehrer
This is worth reading. Ben Smith on Tom Lehrer:...
Suit: Bills Cheerleaders Were Taught How To Wash "Intimate Areas"
Now come five Buffalo Jills, joining the growing list of NFL cheerleaders suing their team for allegedly flouting state and federal employment laws. In many ways, their story shows how standardized these practices have become. But in terms of micromanagement, neither of the other cheerleading teams ...
Bills Pay $3 Million To Settle Stupid Text-Message Lawsuit
A couple years back, Bills fans signed up to receive text messages featuring news and offers from the team. The fine print said they'd receive no more than five a week. This guy Jerry Wojcik got six! And then, a few weeks later, seven! So he sued. And now the Bills have agreed to cough up more than ...
We Are All Crying Blue Jackets Kid
Sports aren't fair. Your team is supposed to win! And sometimes they look like they're gonna win, and don't win, and you're stuck with a moment of clarity that none of this has any meaning, no greater power cares a whit for your existence, and you're just ticking down your days on this cold rock unt...
How Not To Announce You've Committed To Auburn, In One Tweet
Marquel Harrell, an offensive lineman from Fairburn, Georgia went on Twitter to announce that he was going to be an Auburn Tiger. There was just one problem: he didn't know the name of his new school. ...
Tomas Hertl Continues To Be Adorable
The Sharks' 20-year-old Czech center Tomas Hertl had a pair of points in his first career playoff game, but I don't really care about that right now. I care that earlier this month, Hertl was introduced to the wonders of Dave & Buster's. ...
Rich Asshole Mark Emmert Says He'd Be Happy To Be An Unpaid Athlete
NCAA president Mark Emmert was a guest on Dan Patrick's show this morning, and he said all the stupid things we've heard him say many times before while trying to defend the scam that is the NCAA. The entire interview is worth a listen, because Patrick isn't afraid to challenge Emmert, but I partic...
Easter Bunny Ambushes Racing Presidents At Nationals Game
Let this be a warning to all American presidents, past, present, and future: You've got your own damn holiday, stay the hell out of the Easter Bunny's....
Down With Baseball's Fun Police
As much as I love baseball, no sport gets further up its own ass when it comes to players being allowed to look like they're having fun. Take the bench-clearing brawl in yesterday's Brewers-Pirates game, sparked by Carlos Gomez taking time to admire what he thought was a home run. Words were exchang...
Carlos Gomez's Triple Sparks Bench-Clearing Altercation
Pirates pitcher Gerrit Cole had some words for Brewers outfielder Carlos Gomez hit a triple off of him in today's game. Whatever Cole said, Gomez reacted, and it didn't take long before both benches cleared with players throwing punches....
Columbus Blue Jackets Win First Ever Playoff Game In Double Overtime
The Columbus Blue Jackets qualified for the playoffs for the first time in franchise history in the 2008-2009 season. They dropped four straight to the Detroit Red Wings, who eventually lost to the Pittsburgh Penguins in the Stanley Cup Finals. Columbus did not make it back to the playoffs until thi...
Martín Maldonado Tears Cover Off Ball, Gets Infield Single
When you hear the phrase "he tore the cover off the ball," you think about a blistering line drive or a towering home run. In the sixth inning of Milwaukee's 5-3 win over the Pirates, Brewers backup catcher Martín Maldonado literally tore the cover off the ball and it never made it out of the infiel...
Nobody Has Ever Pimped A Home Run As Hard As This Guy Did
This was uploaded on YouTube a long time ago, but we've never seen it before, and we feel the need to share it with all of you....
<em>Empire Of Derp</em>: Your Heartbreaking Knicks Season In Review Montage
We'll remember so much about this NBA regular season, but most Knicks executives, players, and fans would like to forget it all. To prevent that from ever happening, we've prepared this montage of the Knicks' 2013-2014 season's most memorable moments....
Joakim Noah's Awkward Brilliance Now Available In Illustrated Gifs
Just in time for the playoffs, illustrator Chris Edser has put together a great series of gifs capturing the awkward magic of Joakim Noah, the gangliest of the NBA's elite talent. You couldn't ask for a better representation of player who does many things well and few things gracefully....
Atlanta Burned Again
Later on today, MLS will officially announce Atlanta as its latest expansion franchise. Massive City FFC, a Columbus Crew supporters group, did not wait to extend a friendly welcome, with the help of Ohio's native son, General William Tecumseh Sherman:...
