bu Page 513 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Ron Artest Has Never Looked More Graceful
Your morning roundup for Sept. 5, the day Arizona (against all odds) got a little bit worse. Photo of Artest at rehearsal via @LakerNation. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Here's The Memorable Part Of Auburn's Otherwise Forgettable Fourth Quarter Against Utah State Today
The first game in Auburn's Post-Cam Newton Era (also known as the Barrett Trotter Era, according to the game announcers) did not go as expected—unless you expected Auburn to require a last-minute comeback to avoid a 10-point loss to unranked Utah State. Here's the onside kick and the ensuing drive...

Your College Football Early Games Open Thread
It's the first big college-football Saturday of the season. Yay. No. 18 Ohio State, which lost its The in a haze of Tresselmanic scandal, plays Akron at noon (ESPN). Also at noon on the WWL, No. 23 Auburn hosts Utah State (2) and Northwestern visits Boston College (U)....

Couch Burning Is No Longer Encouraged At West Virginia
WVU students burn couches. They burn them because the basketball team won. They burn them because the football team won. They burn them because the football team lost. They burn them because Bin Laden was killed. They burn them because it snowed. WVU students burn couches. It's what they do....

The Boston Pro Lacrosse Team With A Mascot Who Loved Lap Dances Has Suspended Operations
Boston Blazers President and GM Doug Reffue announced — in a letter to "the Blazers community" on the team website — that the three-year-old National Lacrosse League franchise was temporarily closing up shop. They're looking "both locally and nationally" for a new home for the 2013 season....

Turns Out Ohio State Is Not Done Suspending Its Players For Minor Infractions
According to Doug Lesmerises of the Cleveland Plain Dealer, tOSU will make running back Jordan Hall, corner Travis Howard, and safety Corey Brown sit out its first game against Akron. You guessed it: "impermissible benefits of $300 or less at a charity event earlier this year." [@PDBuckeyes]...

Bruce Feldman On Leaving ESPN: "In The Last Six Weeks, I've Seen What They're Capable Of" (UPDATED)
After 17 years at ESPN, where he was one of the first hires for the WWL's website once upon a time, college football writer Bruce Feldman announced today that he was leaving for a gig at CBSSports.com. He also made an appearance this morning on Dan Patrick's radio show and spoke freely about what w...

Terrelle Pryor's Wonderlic Score Was Reportedly A 7 (UPDATE: Pryor Says 22)
The Raiders are praying that Terrelle Pryor's football IQ is higher than his actual IQ. According to Bob McGinn, the Packers beat writer for the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, Pryor scored a whopping 7 on his Wonderlic Test. (UPDATE: See below.)...

Jay Buhner Totally Called Mike Carp's Home Run Last Night
Buhner, the goateed outfielder-turned-occasional-broadcaster for Mariners games, did little more than deploy a little hopeful homerism here. But he timed it perfectly....

Jim Tressel On Terrelle Pryor: "Love Conquers All"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Tressel will be spending his Saturdays at home for a while....

Brave TV Reporter Gets A Mouthful Of Sewage-Seasoned Sea Foam To Seize The Big Story
Your morning roundup for Aug. 28, the day we give a shout out to aquatic fleas. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. (Want more Tucker Barnes? Here.)...

Let's Watch Cesc Fabregas Score His First Highlight-Reel Goal For Barcelona
Your morning roundup for Aug. 27, the day Chevy Chase's resurgence finally got to Dan Aykroyd, but not necessarily to Bill Murray, because Bill Murray knows he's better than Ghostbusters 3. This, because he unequivocally is. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Derek Jeter And Minka Kelly Have Split, So Here's Your Chance, Dudes
Take that however you want to take it, single heterosexual male Yankees fans....

Stephon Marbury Signs With Another Chinese Basketball Team, Saves Humanity
Well, well. Starbury was just so gracious to announce on Twitter today—so all of us would be lucky enough to be the first to know—that he has signed a contract to play with the Beijing Ducks of the Chinese Basketball Association....

Well, This Is Ominous Non-News About Sidney Crosby's Brain
The headline on the Penguins' official site, which has some editorial independence but is for all purposes the NHL's Pravda: "Crosby Visits Leading Specialists."...

Chad Ochocinco Says He Will Reimburse The Buccaneers Rookie Who Jacked Him Up And Got Fined $20K
Rookie Buccaneers linebacker Mason Foster may have two first names, but he doesn't have a lot of money. He's a rookie, and a third-round pick, which means $20,000 means more to him than it does to, say, Chad Ochocinco, the Patriots receiver Foster hit in last Thursday's preseason game....

Matt Cooke Is Gonna Try Really, Really Hard Not To Be A Cheap-Shot Artist Anymore
As Matt Cooke kept busy last winter by performing his usual song-and-dance of blindside hits and head shots on Penguins opponents, his wife, Michelle, was in the hospital battling a kidney infection. The ordeal, according to the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, was known by his teammates and coaches—and ...

Exit Felix Pie; Luke Scott Will Have To Find A New Dark-Skinned Teammate To Throw Banana Chips At
Baseball's most discomfiting buddy comedy is near cancellation: Yesterday, the Baltimore Orioles designated outfielder Felix Pie for assignment, effectively ending his role as the some-of-my-best-friends-are-black clubhouse foil for redneck performance artist Luke Scott. ...

The Law Took Kyle Busch's License Away For Doing 128 In A 45 Zone
We know, it is awfully hard to believe that some guy who drives expensive cars around at 150 mph for a living would get caught driving an expensive car at 128 mph. Where could he have learned to do something horrible like that?...

The Rush To Write Off Terrelle Pryor As Another Raiders Bust Is On
There was something predictable about Oakland's selection of Terrelle Pryor in today's supplemental draft, and it wasn't the pick itself: it was the mad rush among pundits to point out the inevitability of the Raiders taking a guy with a spotty past. It's the laziest sort of joke, and one your 50-so...