bu Page 545 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Intern Horrors: Eating Mike Francesa's Egg Roll Is Not A Euphemism, Thank God
Welcome to Intern Horrors, the weekly feature wherein interns, and the people who use them, shine a light on the worst aspects of internin'. This week: a radio host loses an egg roll, the Pittsburgh Pirates, and a run-in with Warren Sapp....

Buzz Bissinger Explains His Transformation Into Twitter's King Of Douche-Juicing
"I am an angry man, which is one of the reasons I resumed therapy and take four different pharmaceuticals. I wake up angry, stay angry during the day except to my dog and children, and go to bed angry at night." [TNR]...

Obama Takes A Firm Stand Against The Wave
The president probably gained a few more votes by refusing to take part in one of the worst stadium traditions. His daughter, on the other hand, needs a firm talking-to. [via Power Line]...

Ritual Pierogi Guy Sacrifice Sure To Fix Things In Pittsburgh
What do you do when you're on a 12-game losing streak, rank 30th in hits, are dead last in the National League Central, and have such a defunct PR apparatus that you have to rehire your GM in secret?...

Intern Horrors: Joe Buck Edition ... With A Response From Joe Buck
We received an intern horror story this week so delicious that it warranted its own post. Our old pal Joe Buck is involved. So is Joe Buck's sweat-soiled napkin. Allegedly. The story — and Joe's response — after the jump....

Fleeing Bullfighter Arrested For Cowardice
A Mexican torero got one look at the bull entering the ring, and promptly took off running the other way. The police were waiting....

Stephen Strasburg Is Strasburgering The Crap Out Of The Indians
Stephen Strasburg update: 8ks, 5innings. Just give him the Cy Young for the rest of the decade right now. /Costas'd. [Yahoo!]...

Indoor Plumbing Comes To Pittsburgh
Oh good, the "lets flush all 552 toilets at the Penguins' new arena and hope the place doesn't blow up" test was a success. Apparently, the septic system tanked a few seasons in a row to get the top new equipment. [Post-Gazette]...

Adam Burish Takes High Road, Offers To Punch Chris Pronger One More Time
Chicago may have ended their ridiculous Stanley Cup drought on Philly's home ice, but apparently that's no reason to be magnanimous. Celebration or no celebration, there's always time to remind people that Chris Pronger is a bit of a jerk....

Last Night's Winner: Strasburger Entrepreneurs
In sports everyone's a winner, some win better than others. Like the marketing geniuses who quickly pulled together $12 burger platters named after Stephen Strasburg, welcoming the goofy-grinned savior to both Major League Baseball and DC-area stomachs....

Bob Costas Feeds The Strasburg Hype Machine
Stephen Strasburg was pretty amazing in his major league debut last night, but that didn't stop baseball's self-appointed dream weaver from pumping up the superhero rhetoric even further—while simultaneously blaming others for their flights of fancy....

Did MLB Network Predict Josh Willingham's Home Run?
Yes, he's the real deal and we'll have more on that later, but did anybody else notice this goof-up/incredible called shot from the boys in the truck?...

Stephen Strasburg: Let Them Know It's Strasmas Time
The Washington Nationals' Band-Aid, Stephen Strasburg, makes his Major League debut tonight against the anemic Pittsburgh Pirates. He's expected to throw three no-hitters, hit five home runs, and save numerous cats from numerous trees....

Town Offers To Rename Itself "Stephen Strasburg"
Via Darren Rovell, the town of Strasburg, Va., will rename itself Stephen Strasburg, if he just makes a visit sometime this year. Hey, it put Hitler, North Dakota on the map. [RenameStrasburg.com]...

Bud Selig Speaks On Imperfect Game, Says Nothing
No overturning Jim Joyce's call, and no perfect game for Galarraga. But there's this: "Given last night's call and other recent events, I will examine our umpiring system, the expanded use of instant replay and all other related features." [MLB]...

This Week In Horrifying Leg Injuries
In case you missed it, there were a couple of real leg-cracking beauties this weekend. One happened to an MLS goalie and the other a minor MMA fighter, so yeah, you probably missed it. Click if you dare....

Pittsburgh Seeks Brave, Able-Bodied Young People For Controlled Toilet Flushing
Are you over 18 and a fan of coordinated, group activities? The Pittsburgh Penguins would like 250 "students" to flush all the toilets at the newly constructed Consol Energy Center. In other news, Western Pennsylvania now runs on toilet news....

Like All Rich And Graying New York Icons, Keith Hernandez's Mustache Summers In The Hamptons
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

In Honor Of Memorial Day, Here's A Photo Of A Marine With Sarah Palin Tattooed On His Ass
That butt belongs to Gunnery Sgt. Benjamin "Gus" Lepping, an explosive ordnance disposal tech serving in Afghanistan. Reasoning: "What could be better than getting a tattoo of the hottest cougar in the Republican Party?" [Battle Rattle]...

Watch The Citadel And Elon University Baseball Teams Pound Each Other Mercilessly
Last night, Dash clued you in to the epic brawl between The Citadel and Elon's baseball teams. Here's the video for all of you that were too lazy to click a link. Tuck in that shirt while you're at it....