bu Page 572 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Brian Burke Officially In As President, GM of Terrible Hockey Team
Starting today, the Toronto Maple Leafs can scratch "incompetent and/or old GM" off the list of reasons why they never win anything. Yes, in the least surprising news to come out of the NHL since Gary Bettman admitted he didn't know how to read or write, the Leafs announced that Brian Burke will ta...
Plaxico Burress Accidentally Shoots Self in Leg
Yep, you read that right. Jay Glazer is reporting that sometime last night, Burress fired a gun into his own leg and spent the night in hospital, but that the injuries are non life-threatening. More, obviously, as more becomes available. UPDATE: Apparently John Clayton is reporting the incident too...
Welcome To Black Friday, America's Own Running Of The Bulls
Some of you are not old enough to remember the Cabbage Patch Riots of 1983, a dark time in our history when lawlessness ruled; where roving gangs of middle-aged women in housecoats would beat you senseless for a children's doll. Above is one of my favorite videos of all time, in which, at about the ...
Miserable Stephon Marbury Gives Thanks to Knicks by Ripping D'Antoni's Dog-Walking Skills
The Knicks are quietly stumbling toward legitimacy this season under Mike D'Antoni, but still can't seem to peacefully rid themselves of the one player who embodies their past failures, Stephon Marbury. D'Antoni even extended an olive branch toward Steph by offering him a starting job, but that didn...
Greetings, Spinheads
Happy day after Thanksgiving. Today is gonna be looser than usual, given both the tech issues and that the vast majority of you are out shopping, or hungover, or getting ready for high school reunions. We'll cover some stuff, we'll ignore a lot of stuff, and have some fun being buddy, buddy, buddy a...
Citi Field and Manchester United: Your Tax Dollars At Work
The government's bailout of our collapsing financial industry continues apace—you got your check, right?—but now that these companies are playing with our money, suddenly everyone is an expert. Some are suggesting that maybe the reason these firms are in trouble is because they like to waste money a...
Lawrence Tynes To President Bush: Pardon My Brother, Please
Question: Do you know who Lawrence Tynes is without me having to explain that he's the kicker for the New York Giants? Do you think President Bush knows? He did single out Tynes during the Giants post-Super Bowl White House visit, because it was his overtime field goal against Green Bay that sent th...
Lions Fans: Not Even Fit For The Bus
Hard to think of a more fitting metaphor for the Detroit Lions' season than the video below: A poor, stupid Lions fan is kicked off of a bus, and is mocked by the other passengers. Poor, dumb sap. The most hilarious part to me is his final, desperate act of defiance as the vehicle pulls away. Ha. Cl...
Have Sex The Fundamentalist Way, Minus The Robes
The most fascinating story I read all week, without question, was this New York Times story about Rev. Ed Young in Grapevine, Tx. encouraging his parishioners to have sex with each other. Life's gotta be pretty dull for a preacher sometimes — "Lord, forgive me, but if I have to give another endless ...
Rinku And Dinesh Hit Big Time, Will Soon Be Rolling In Rupees
Remember Rinku Singh and Dinesh Patel, the Indian teenagers who had a tryout for Major Leage Baseball scouts a few weeks back? The pitchers flew to California to work out in San Francisco and then show their stuff at USC, with the hopes of landing a major league contract. Crazy, right? Neither had e...
Rob Iracane Abdicates the Throne
To keep the comments as fresh and outstanding as they've been up to this point, Commenting Guru Rob Iracane will write wrote a bi-weekly Comment Ombudsman column. It runs every other week. This is that week. Mr. Iracane, co-proprietor of the brilliant Walkoff Walk , is also the guy who approveappro...
Is The NHL Gaining On The NBA (Again)?
You may have missed this in the Friday afternoon "please let this week be over" crunch, but it's not too late to read this important post over at Puck Daddy. Well, important if you care about the friendly rivalry between delusional NBA apologists and bitter NHL pedants. Believe it or not, there was ...
Dude, I Think Stryper Won A Trophy or Something
Michael Bertin writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin. Frankie Hejduk has been in MLS for nine years. He's done five seasons in Europe four of which were with Bayern Levekusen, including the infamous 1999-2000 campaign when the side needed only a draw against tiny Unterhaching on the last day o...
What's Cuter Than A Mascot Holding A Box Of Kittens?
Those feisty folks at PETA are at it again. This week's target of their ire? The Denver Nuggets. Apparently the Nuggets involved a few live animals during a game and the animal rights organization is none too pleased, calling for action on their website. ...
The Audacity Of Hope
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap With the economy in a tailspin and Congress ignoring the auto industry's bailout pleas, it seems only fitting that this is the year that the Lions make their most serious push towar...
Buffalo Sportswriter Dies After Press Box Fall
Tom Borrelli, a sportswriter for the Buffalo News died today after an accident that happened at high school football game. On November 8, Borrelli was climbing up a steep metal staircase (almost like a ladder, really) on the way to the press box at All High Stadium, when he hit his head on a girder ...
Bookie Mom's Big Day And Other Fallout From The Steelers-Chargers Debacle
Since football fans don't have much else to do between Monday and (now) Thursday nights, there's still plenty to talk about when it comes to that crazy Pittsburgh-San Diego game that changed the face of gambling sports for ever. Of course, just because we're talking about it, doesn't mean we're "tal...
Chinese Democracy, 15 Years Down, Five Days To Go
Of all the Guns 'N Roses stories, the "Rocket Queen" one is my favorite. When "Appetite For Destruction" was recorded, the moaning sounds on the album's closer (which might be my favorite G'N'R song, actually), were captured while Adriana Smith, a 19-year-old stripper who had been dating drummer St...
Faltering Bills Encouraged By Female Makeout Session
First it was the man and woman getting it on in one of the restrooms, and now this ... as a couple of apparently hot chicks celebrate a Bills touchdown on Monday Night in their own special way. Who would have thought that Ralph Wilson Stadium would be the NFL's hot, sensual love palace? Just what el...
Monday Night Football Fever Is Not All You'll Catch
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap With staph infections running rampant in the NFL these days, it's nice of random fans to warn us of potential hazards. That's a rather nasty case of it under that Browns supporter's...