bu Page 573 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Former AFL QB, VP Nominee, HUD Secretary Jack Kemp Passes Away At 73
Jack Kemp, best known for his work with supply-side economics and frequent runners-up Bob Dole and the Buffalo Bills, has lost another battle — this one to cancer....

T Is For Timeout...Or Maybe Tacos.
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Noah Declared 'Undead', Cleared to Play Tonight
The best first round series anyone can remember concludes tonight as Chicago travels to Boston for Game 7. Contrary to some earlier speculation, "Garquatch" will not be suiting up....

Pens Fans Attempt to Distract Capitals With Funny Faces
The Penguins have evened the score with the Capitals at 2-2 in after two periods of play in Washington. In other news, this Pittsburgh fan seems to be quite taken with Washington's coach Bruce Boudreau....

Tom Brady Must Be Thrilled
Hey, it's his new bride being groped by nude, muscular black men! [Arab Aquarius]...

Boston And Chicago Must Really Love Each Other
How else do you explain why the Bulls and Celtics have played seven overtime periods in just six games? These guys really just enjoy playing basketball together—and making each other bleed....

So That's What They Mean By "Exploded"
Last night E:60 aired its segment on body builder Gregg Valentino's ridiculous steroid abuse. It's an old story, but that didn't stop ESPN from airing Valentino's famous arm-burst again. Warning: After-jump footage is gross....

This Is Not Alexander Ovechkin's Strip Club Receipt
Like any young rich athlete, Alex Ovechkin likes to have a good time, but there are probably enough actual crazy stories about him out there that people don't need to be making them up....

Embrace The Goodness That Will Be 'Hard Knocks: The Cincinnati Bengals'
After making it through last season's promising Hard Knocks: Dallas Cowboys without any noteworthy melodrama, HBO decided it needs to inch a bit closer to full-on madness. Yes, Hard Knocks: Cincinnati Bengals is for real....

When All Else Fails, Just Punch Brad Miller In The Face
The Boston-Chicago series had its third overtime game last night and they might still be playing now if Rajon Rando hadn't decided to just end the charade and slug Brad Miller in the mouth....

Auburn's "Tiger Prowl" Might Be As Creepy As It Sounds
The Auburn recruiting limo—coming soon to a high school near you. If you're 250-lb linebacker with 4.6 speed, that is. [Birmingham News, Press-Register]...

The Hideki Irabu Era Is Not Over Yet
When last we heard of Japanese pitching sensation Hideki Irabu, he was drinking beer by the barrel and slugging bartenders back in his homeland. That was apparently just the warmup for his stateside comeback....

Cardinals Fans Unable To Head For The Mountains
Busch Beer is apparently very hard to come by at Busch Stadium this season. And this is a problem somehow? [Riverfront Times]...

Someone Got A Hit Off Of Stephen Strasburg? What?
The pitcher who's going to have major league teams tanking games by July gave up a three-run homer and threw 121 pitches on Friday, but don't worry folks, he still won....

Post-Marathon Interview Is The Biggest Endurance Test Of All
Kara Goucher, you just finished third in the Boston Marathon. Would you mind standing still for five minutes while my incompetent news crew gets their act together? And may I call you Sara?...

Surprisingly, No Deaths Or Snapped Limbs In 1993 Replay Game
The players, now all in their 30s, emerged relatively unscathed after Sunday's Replay Rivalry Game between Phillipsburg and Easton high schools. Oh, and Eli Manning got his first Gatorade bath....

Former Footballer Seeks Justice For His Son's Murder
If you have time today, you really should read the story of former pro football player Vidal Mills and his obsession with finding and punishing the men who murdered his son....

White Guys...Activate!
Bernhard Langer's putt-making ability is much better than his awkward attempt at a chest-bump immediately after he made it. Tom Lehman is equally culpable, but at least his intentions were good. [PGA Tour.com]...

A Bold New Sanchez-To-Burress Era For Jets Fans?
Jets general manager Mike Tannenbaum said that the Jets contacted agent Drew Rosenhaus prior to the draft to ask about Plaxico Burress's legal situation. [USA Today]...

Jacoby Ellsbury's Steal Of Home Turns Well-Meaning Boston Dads Into Smiling Pimps
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap. (Photo: Bugs And Cranks)...