bu Page 585 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Beanie Wells Goes Pro
Running back Chris Wells will skip his senior year at Ohio State so that he might someday be able to afford a fedora or maybe a top hat. [ESPN]...

Who Dares To Tamper In Joe Flacco's Unibrow Domain?
The Baltimore Ravens' Joe Flacco-led run through the AFC playoffs is just one more example of a famous unibrow influencing world events. [East Coast Bias]...

Baby Mangino's Final Push; Bissinger Won't Go Down Without A Slight
If there were any questions about how seriously some are taking SHOTY 2008, look no further than KAKE, an ABC affiliate in Kansas, which devoted an entire segment to Baby Mangino's "championship" run....

At Least Reggie Bush's Hands Are Still Okay
The Saints' sizzle back had some micro-fracture knee surgery and will rehab for months. A lot more serious than previously suspected, but he shouldn't miss mini-camp. Or cuddle time. [NOLA]...

Report Says Bulldogs Backfield Going Pro
Georgia's Matthew Stafford and Knowshon Moreno are good—but not good enough to go No. 1 to the Lions—so they both feel confident enough to declare for the NFL Draft. [ESPN]...

Hockey World Is Filled With Finger-Biting, Child-Mugging Thugs
The two tough guys got tangled up near the bench early in the first period, when Peters' hand got a little too close to Ruutu's mouth, so Ruutu bit down—through the glove—drawing blood. Naturally, Peters got a game misconduct, while Ruutu got nothing except a stick to the groin from Peters' teammate...

Yeah, Give Him A Red Card. I Dare You
Ha, watch closely; about two minutes in, even the bull realizes that soccer is a dull game, and stops charging. He's thinking "getting maimed with swords is better than watching this."...

And It Only Took Them 307 Years
Hey Bulldog: Former Jacksonville Jaguars assistant Tom Williams is hired at Yale, becoming the school's first black head football coach. [Hartford Courant]...

Yes, Virginia, There Are Other Buzzsaw Fans
An hour before the tailgating area in Glendale opened Saturday, I met more Arizona Cardinals fans than I'd met in my life. There were three. We were packing the car....

Texas Waits For Final Minute To Eat Ohio State's Soul
So I guess anyone who thought the Fiesta Bowl was a giant made-to-order bowl of Buckeye Soup (ahem) had another thing coming. Hey, when you're right 52% of the time ......

Hey, $%&*@!? Hands Off The Sweater Vest, Mack
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

When The Spirit Moves Him, Kurt Warner Must Draw
Far be it from me to mock anyone's religious beliefs. A person's artistic skills, however, are open game. Here's Kurt Warner drawing God. Let's watch....

Switch Hitter: Burrell Agrees In Principle With Rays
Pat Burrell rips out Daulerio's heart, stomps on it, gives it a mohawk. [ESPN]...

It's Time For Ohio State's Annual Butt Whupping
Gee, it seems like it was just twelve months ago that tOSU was getting their Buckeyes kicked in by an angry SEC team in their bowl game. Oh wait, that was two years ago....

SHOTY Title Game: Buzz Bissinger Vs. Baby Mangino
We have reached the SHOTY Final. It's probably the one we should have expected all along....

Slamming Through, Don't F With Silverback
Pittsburgh Steelers' linebacking lunatic wins the AP Defensive Player of the Year Award. [PSAMP]...

Ko Simpson Is Arrested, Worth Millions
The last 12 months were not good ones for the Buffalo Bills, so safety Ko Simpson decided to kick the new year off right by getting arrested back in his hometown in South Carolina....

The City Of Phoenix Would Like To Personally Thank Will Leitch
Cardinals finally sell their last playoff tickets. Buzzsaw fans will now get to watch the game from the comfort of their own home. [NYT]...

Auburn Fans Love A Challenge
• This Is Just Wrong. This is disagreeable on so many levels, that PETA is just going to have to wait in line....

Last Chance For SHOTY Final Four Voting
Welcome back, everybody. It's 2009. Crazy. Time to make your voice heard, while you can....