bu Page 586 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Starbury May Be Ready To Go Green
Stephon Marbury appears to be headed to the Celtics. All sharp instruments have been removed from Bill Simmons' house. [ESPN]...

The Year In ... Substance Abuse
It's the final day of our end-of-year retrospectives, as Charles Barkley gets in just under the wire with his arrest on suspicion of DUI. Today: Substance abuse!...

If You Can, Everyone Please Go See Your Grandmothers, Right Now
I went home for Christmas, and I dropped by and saw my grandmother. She's a very nice lady....

Does This Guy Look Drunk And Belligerent To You?
You may have seen the story posted on Sunday about an innocent fan who was thrown out of Raymond James Stadium for doing absolutely nothing wrong—besides rooting for the visiting team....

SHOTY Final Four: Buzz Bissinger Vs. Erin Andrews
Welcome back, everybody. Some of you worked last Friday, some of you still aren't back at work today. But whatever, it's SHOTY time, time to wake up, people....

Tom Brady Is Engaged!
TMZ is reporting that invalid quarterback Tom Brady, who dumped his hot pregnant actress girlfriend for less pregnant supermodel Gisele Bundchen, is now affianced to said supermodel, thereby taking his golden ass off the market....

Your Trickster Magic Will Not Work On TCU
Boise State won a nation's heart with laterals and sorcery two years ago, but their days as adorbable indie princess underdogs are over....

Mike Tomlin Thinks Your Holiday Gimmicks Are Stupid And Tiresome
Apparently, Steelers coach Mike Tomlin's harmless "if it will get you out of here" to this man dressed in a red suit has resulted in this AP story making him out to be a joyless anti-Santa. It's purely coincidental Steelers announced that there will be no more visits from Santa during press conferen...

Plaxico Burress And The Hidden Arms Cache
In a daring midnight raid on the home of New York militia leader Plaxico Burress, police officers uncovered a secret "cache" of weapons and ammunition that he was undoubtedly saving for the revolution....

Littlest Peoria Hockey Fan Pushes Back Against "Cha Cha Slide"
Last Friday during a minor league hockey game in Peoria, Illinois, a ray of light emerged amongst a raging cyclone of evil, wicked line dances....

R.I.P. Dock Ellis: The Curveball That Rode The Dragon
It is fitting that the great Dock Ellis died on a Friday, which is the worst day to die. Nobody pays attention to news on Saturdays....

Another Lawsuit For Plaxico Burress
Plaxico Burress is being sued by a woman he rear-ended—with his car, jerks!—back in May, three days after he forgot to pay his insurance premiums. That seems so unlike him, doesn't it? [NY Daily News]...

Soccer: Only The Manliest Of Men Need Apply
OK, so we've had a good time this month making fun of soccer. But do we really think soccer is gay? No way. And this video only reinforces that belief....

SHOTY Final Four Is Set
Congratulations to our four finalists in the 2008 Sportshuman of the Year tournament. They've all earned it, in their own way....

Iowa State And Auburn Trade Coaches. Again.
So let me get this straight: Gene Chizik used to be the defensive coordinator at Auburn, left to become the head coach at Iowa State, then left that job to go back to Auburn to be the head coach, and is now being replaced at Iowa State by Paul Rhoads ... who was the defensive coordinator at Auburn. ...

Boom, Goes the RCA Dome
Known as the Hoosier Dome until 1994, it was home to the Indy Colts for twenty-four years, and as of this morning, it is now a pile of rubble. Such is life....

SHOTY Elite Eight: Buzz Bissinger Vs. Mark Cuban
It's the battle of people who have yelled at me in public. Woo-hoo! It's just like hanging out with my dad when I was a teenager. Why wasn't my dad nominated?...

Mississippi Coach Arrested For Assault
Hoops coach Andy Kennedy was arrested the night before his team's game in Cincinnati after he "punched a cab driver with a closed fist while shouting racial slurs." Yep, that will do it. [Local12]...

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers Are Quite Serious About Pancakes
A man is suing former Tampa Bay Buccaneers Anthony Davis and Michael Bennett for beating him up in a drunken melee in an IHOP parking lot on Oct. 13....

What? Shocking
Running back Reggie Bush will miss the final two games of the New Orleans Saints' season. No surgery required. Just "rest" and "rehabilitation." And hamsters! [AP]...