bu Page 600 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Stanley Cup Finals Mule Variations
The NHL Closer is written by five octopi from Melt Your Face Off. When Al Sobotka isn't twirling us over his head, we're served with pickled ginger, green onion and mayonnaise in takoyaki. Raskolnikov emptied his ink sacs to write a recap of last night's action....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while remodeling Bubble Man's dorm room... • 5 p.m. — NASCAR: Coca-Cola 600, Concord, North Carolina. In a blind race test, what's more exciting: this race or the Pepsi 400? [FOX] • 7 p.m. — NCAA softball: Georgia at UCLA. There's no crying in softball, but there's no by-laws applicabl...
Careful, It's Slippery
This angle, for which I am ever thankful the morning after, is not the greatest; CBC's camera had a better view, combined with two men sitting on the ice a couple feet away wearing Red Wings apparel, laughing their octopi-molesting asses off. At first I thought those two seedy Michiganders had somet...
Who Wants A Trophy-Shaped Cup? (Cup-Shaped Trophy?)
There once was a man by the name of Stanley, who decided that average trophies were not good enough for hockey teams, so he went and sculpted a cup based on a napkin drawing by Nigel Tufnel. The trophy was supposed to be 35 feet tall, but he got his inches and feet mixed up....
Tiny Man Celebrates Bulls' Blind Luck
The tiny man you see here — and "tiny," of course, is relative to two men standing next to him; in reality, he's probably 6-foot-9 — is Steve Schanwald, executive VP of the Chicago Bulls. He was a very happy tiny man last night; it's a good thing Chicago isn't a huge city with a potentially rabid f...
Penguins Return Home For Game Five, Get Back In The Habit
The NHL Closer is written by the five pillars of piety from Melt Your Face Off. When not serving the needy, sick, poor and uneducated, they can be found sneaking sips from the Baptismal Font. Weed Against Speed somehow got his hands on the keys to the Popemobile, so let's take this sucker out for a ...
Juuuuust a Bit Outside of Tolerability
Listen Mr. Uecker, if you don't want stalkers you probably shouldn't be walking around on road trips looking so fucking sexy. This picture, via the tremendous Big League Stew at Yahoo(!) (and several other places) shows the Brewers broadcaster enjoying one of the perks of life on the road, watching...
Cruel To Be Kind
To keep the comments as fresh and outstanding as they've been up to this point, we've commissioned Commenting Guru Rob Iracane, co-editor of Walk Off Walk, to write a bi-weekly Comment Ombudsman column. It runs every other week. This is that week....
Challis' Message Continues To Inspire
Those who have been following the story of John Challis in the Pittsburgh-Post Gazette shouldn't be surprised that he's taking the country by storm. The Freedom High School (Pa.) senior, who has terminal cancer, was invited to attend Game 2 of the NHL playoff series between Philadelphia and Pittsbu...
OSU Lacrosse Goalie Makes Sport Watchable, If Briefly
I grew up in Maryland, where lacrosse is the official team sport (The official individual sport? Jousting. Yes, Maryland is retarded. I'm sure they'll change the team sport to Quidditch before the decade is out). There, lacrosse is all the rage with white guys and the rare black dude who listens to...
O.J. Mayo Reportedly Accepted Gifts And Cash In High School And At USC
The WWL is all over its report this morning on "Outside the Lines" featuring the claim from a former associate of NBA prospect O.J. Mayo that the player accepted $30,000 in cash and gifts over the last four years from a Los Angeles-based event promoter....
Reports Of Limatime's Demise Greatly Exaggerated
A few weeks ago, it seemed, the world was faced with the sad prospect of bidding farewell to Limatime when reports surfaced out of Korea that he had been released by the Kia Tigers. Mope no longer, lovers of exuberant pitchers with stacked wives, for not only is Limatime born anew with the Tigers, ...
Dyshod Carter Probably Not The Next Frank Lucas
Dyshod Carter, a former cornerback for the Cardinals and Browns, was one of five people arrested earlier this week for attempting to purchase seven kilos of cocaine from an undercover DEA agent at the low, low Phoenix price of $16,000 a key....
The Flyers Are Not Fond Of Game 1s
Sure, the Flyers eventually knuckled under to the Penguins' explosive attack after getting up early, but they're clearly just setting up the Pens like they did to the Caps and the Habs. Philly has lost the opener in each of its three series this postseason. The Pens have even gone as far as to crib ...
Len Shapiro Tilts At "Uninformed" "Cowards"
As time marches on from the contentious Leitch-Bissinger showdown on HBO, more and more mainstream writers are weighing in on the matter. And, for the most part, they're not getting any more insightful. The latest comes courtesy of The Washington Post's Len Shapiro, who, while conceding that Buzz B...
Previewing The Flyers-Penguins
The Deadspin NHL Playoff Previews are brought to you the five wealthiest people in the world known as the MYFO Pentaverate. They blog from a secret country mansion known as the Meadows. Beware their wee beady eyes and those smug looks on their faces. Today, Hextall454 breaks down the Eastern Confer...
Look Who's Back, Giants' Fans!
Now back in your starting lineup, sporting an 0-7 record and a 6.95 ERA, only the third starting pitcher since 1956 to go 0-6 before May ... Barry Zito. Thank you. It was a good spot for Giants' manager Bruce Bochy to bring Zito back from the bullpen. Wednesday's opponent was the Pirates, featuring ...
Rocky Statue: Target Of Penguin Terrorist Plot?
You may remember just a week ago that during the Montreal Canadiens/Flyers playoff series, some amped-up Habs fans decided desecration of the Rocky statue would be a good way to show team spirit and ward off an inevitable early round exit. Didn't work....
The Buzz Bissinger Affair, In Song (And I Feel Fine)
It's The End Of Sports News As We Know It [YouTube]...