business Page 11 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Desperate NFL Puts Shitty Thursday Night Games On Website Belonging To <i>Washington Post</i> Owner
Thursday Night Football, which features tired NFL teams playing in ugly jerseys, tried out an experiment last season and streamed 10 of its games on Twitter. I tried watching once and promptly saw Twitter’s wonderful “social” integration alert me that someone had scored a touchdown before I saw anyt...
My Offer For The Stonyfield Yogurt Company
TO: The Board of Directors of the Stonyfield Yogurt Company. ...
Humorless Dickhole Business Writer Very Upset About March Madness Pools<em></em>
As much as we here at Deadspin like to poke fun at sportswriters and political hot-take artists, the truth is that business journalists may be the lowliest scum of all. We’re all horrified by Darren Rovell, and yet there’s only ONE of him in sports. Really, that man is just a business reporter in sp...
The Future Of Innovation Is Innovation: A Day At Stanford's Sports-Business Conference<em></em>
Stanford University in the springtime is immaculate. There are no clouds in the sky and none of the aerated haze of the East Bay or the fog of San Francisco. Off to the west, the Santa Cruz Mountains gently form the outer boundary of Palo Alto. As I got lost looking for the Stanford Graduate School ...
This Letter Is Capitalism's Dream And America's Nightmare
One of the many terrifying aspects of having Donald Trump as president is that he, like all children, is very easily persuaded. Single meetings and conversations can shape his entire, pliable worldview. The wolves of corporate America know what easy prey looks like....
Under Armour Had A Really Bad Day<em></em>
Under Armour, the company behind those heinous Steph Curry shoes, was the fastest growing sportswear company in the country until very recently. They passed Adidas two years ago to become the second-largest manufacturer in the industry (Adidas recently overtook them), and at one point an MVP in each...
ESPN’s Darren Rovell: I’m A Robot, I Pity The Humans<em></em>
This evening, at 10:21 p.m. EDT, Darren Rovell reached his terrifying final form....
Sam Hinkie Isn't Actually Teaching At Stanford
Sam Hinkie emerged from his self-imposed hibernation this afternoon to update his many fans on Twitter about his whereabouts and future plans. Tweeting from a Palo Alto Starbucks, he wrote that he was taking a “gap year” in Silicon Valley, where he would learn “even more about how what’s happening h...
Internet Man Flays Post-Human ESPN Shithead Darren Rovell By Tunelessly Singing His Dumb Tweets (UPDATE: There's More)
Post-human business doof Darren Rovell did some tweets tonight, like he does whenever a dollar farts. They were bad and bland in their undressed form, but Twitter user @trillballins spiced them up with dramatic vocals and now I love them. Consider this asinine joke our dude probably drafted a week a...
Report: UFC Owners On The Verge Of Selling For $4 Billion
According to a report from ESPN’s post-human business lad Darren Rovell, the owners of the UFC are in “advanced negotiations” with at least four potential buyers regarding the sale of the promotion. The UFC is owned by (mainly) the Fertitta brothers and (also) Dana White and the government of Abu Dh...
Even Companies Trying To Be Diverse Suck At Being Diverse
Think about it like a math problem: When two out of four final candidates for a job are women, there is a 50 percent chance that the candidate hired in the end will be a woman. Makes sense, right? So when one out of the final four candidates for a job is a woman, what do you think the chances are th...
Chobani Yogurt Man Is Good Boss
Hamdi Ulukaya, the founder of Chobani yogurt, is a good yogurt mogul who also made a lot of his yogurt minions rich today. May we all pressure our bosses to be more like him....
Window And Aisle Seats <i>Should</i> Cost More, Sorry
I’m not buying the anecdote that anchors the New York Times’ latest comically obvious business-trend alert. A Ms. Maury Rogoff claims that on a recent flight, she was not only cursed with a middle seat, but also that said seat left her smack-dab between a bickering couple who argued around her, impe...
These Are The Best-Selling NHL Jerseys Of The Season
On the eve of the 2016 Stanley Cup Playoffs, the NHL released their list of the top-ten selling jerseys from the 2015-16 regular season. Wonder-teen Connor McDavid even snuck on!...
Business A-Rod Lookin' Official As Hell
Yo, who’s that businessman doing work in his finely decorated office? Who’s that dude making money and closing deals? ...
How To Book A Music Festival
Over the past few weeks, your hip friends have been excitedly clogging up your social-media feed with chatter about the bands that will be playing over three days in some remote location you've never even heard of. Meanwhile, the first weekend of Coachella 2015 has ended, and the second weekend is...
Andros Townsend Waves Hi To Media Hater After Great International Goal
Andros Townsend isn't a great player, but then again, England aren't a great team, so it isn't too much of a surprise that the Spurs winger was called up during this international break, nor that he managed to blast home the tying goal in today's 1-1 draw against Italy. Well, not a surprise to us....
This Amazing Grandma Really Knows How To Sell A House
Selling a home can be hard. It should be very easy for this awesome grandma, though, because she listed her house with some amazing, adorable pictures....
Fox Business Delivers Stupidest Super Bowl Report Possible
Fox Business Network attempted to report on Super Bowl ticket sales today with threats that "the NFL is expecting record-low attendance." That's not true, but somehow what reporter Elizabeth MacDonald went on to say got even stupider....
Damn, Millennials, Pizza Hut Thinks You're Super Boring
Much of the content of this Washington Post report on the diverging fortunes of delivery pizza giants Domino's and Pizza Hut—the former is thriving, the latter not s'much—passes harmlessly overhead, as remote and incomprehensible as solar wind washing harmlessly over the Earth's magnetic field. Dom...