bye Page 3 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
How To Move Across the Country, One Step At A Time
Last winter, after waffling between leaving or staying in Brooklyn for close to four years, I finally bit the bullet. I decamped to Seattle. I used to think I couldn’t live without an egg & cheese from the bodega, McGolrick Park, or Pete’s Candy Store (where there’s no candy, but plenty of liquor). ...
Dear Jon Stewart: Thanks For The Ride, Motherfucker
Good day to you, Jon Stewart. I never thought my first Dear Jon letter would explode with expletives, but ever since you, puckish fake newsman, hit what used to be called the small screen with your volcanic potty mouth and flagrant disregard for FCC regulations, you managed to disable just about eve...
RIP Ornette Coleman, Who Confounded Most People And Humbled Us All
“There is a law in what I’m playing, but that law is a law that when you get tired of it, you can change it.” So said incomparable musical innovator Ornette Coleman, who died this morning at the age of 85, and while his career was full of these kinds of delightfully cryptic remarks, few unpack his s...
Jokes From David Letterman's Final Top 10 List, Ranked
10. Bill Murray...
Listen To Tons Of B.B. King Today
Blues legend B.B. King died late last night, at 89, in his Las Vegas home, relatively peacefully. He’d been one of those guys who logged 100 shows a year even pushing 90, but he’d been laid up after canceling a 2014 jaunt due to dehydration, exhaustion, and other such complications of diabetes. You ...
Wimpy White Dudes With Guitars Ruined <i>American Idol</i>
American Idol is finally dead, to the delight of those who’ve always hated it, and the relief of those who used to love it. At the peak of its reign, the show was everything to everyone: the launching pad for the pop careers of Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood, and Taylor Hicks; the linchpin of the ...
David Ortiz Greets Jacoby Ellsbury: "Hey, Rich Bitch"
David Ortiz took a second to mess with a couple of his former teammates, as the Yankees clobbered the Red Sox last night. Big Papi wiggled his fingers at Stephen Drew and called out to Jacoby Ellsbury with a “Hey, rich bitch!”—likely a reference to the 7-year, $153 million contract that lured Ellsb...
Watch Jan Hooks And Phil Hartman In The Weird, Gorgeous <em>Love Is A Dream</em>
Jan Hooks, the fearlessly silly Saturday Night Live cast member and world-renowned Alamo tour guide, died today at 57 of a serious illness, reports TMZ. She was an integral part of late-'80s/early-'90s SNL; per the unanimously reverent Twitter chatter this evening, her best role might've been in the...
Good Night, Don Pardo, 1918-2014
Don Pardo was an announcer at NBC for 60 years. He started in television so long ago it was on the radio, in 1944. The heaviest moment of his career was in 1963, when he was "booth announcer" on a shift at WNBC-TV in New York. Pardo did an off-camera "rip-and-read," from a big marked-up paper printo...
Olympic Wrestler Charged With Hunting Deer In Lexus Parking Lot
Dremiel Byers, a two-time Olympian and 10-time U.S. Nationals champion in wrestling, was charged with "suspicion of hunting out of season and illegal possession of wildlife" in Colorado Springs Thursday evening. ...
Robin Williams's Terminal Condition: On <em>The World According to Garp</em>
In 1982, Robin Williams went on a Dallas-area talk show to discuss his title role in the film adaptation of John Irving's novel The World According to Garp. The show's host—a cheerful, robotic woman named Bobbie Wygant—asks her questions, and Williams provides his answers....
Perfectly Imperfect: Saying Goodbye To Robin Williams
One of the dumbest things the public does is think it "knows" celebrities. Those people we see on our TV or on a movie screen, because they come into our lives and make us laugh and cry—we believe we have some sort of special connection, not to the characters they play, but to the actors themse...
Running Apparel Company Oiselle Sponsors Baseball Team
The Bend Elks Baseball Club, a college summer team with comical proofreading skills, announced on Saturday that women's running apparel company Oiselle had become its "Tiitle sponsor."...
Don Cherry Tries, And Fails, To Pronounce The Name "Jacoby Ellsbury"
The first few syllables don't even sound human....
How The Myth Of The NCAA "Student-Athlete" Was Born
Excerpted from Taylor Branch's The Cartel: Inside the Rise and Imminent Fall of the NCAA, published by Byliner and newly relevant today as Northwestern football players seeking to unionize argue before the National Labor Relations Board that they are employees of the school. Byliner has unlocked The...
Why The Yankees Rebuild From Without
Jacoby Ellsbury is a very good outfielder, signed at market rate, who projects to age well but in five or six years will nevertheless be one of the more overpaid players in the game. But that's a problem for another day, and despite dropping $238 million on Ellsbury and Brian McCann, the Yankees sti...
Angry, Dumb Red Sox Fans Call Jacoby Ellsbury A "Trader"
Free agent outfielder Jacoby Ellsbury has agreed to a deal with the Yankees. He used to play for the Red Sox. In case you are an alien or a baby born today who just learned how to use a computer, the Red Sox and Yankees are big rivals. Anyway, Boston fans are mad about Ellsbury being a traitor for ...
Yankees Sign Jacoby Ellsbury To Seven-Year Deal, Because They Can
The New York Yankees have reportedly signed Jacoby Ellsbury, because eat it. They don't care. The Yankees get who they want. (Unless it's Cliff Lee.)...
And It Happens Every Day
Over at Narrative, dig David Thomson on The Long Goodbye—...
Saying Goodbye To David Stern The Only Way We Know How
Adios, asswipe....