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Director Of Canada's National <em></em>Women's Gymnastics Team Charged With Sexually Abusing A Minor
The director of Canada’s national women’s gymnastics team, David Brubaker, was charged last Friday with 10 counts of sexual offenses spanning eight years, all concerning a gymnast who was younger than 16 for part of that time period. According to the Sarnia Observer, Brubaker faces one charge of inv...

Leafs Troll Calgary By Honoring Grey Cup Champs Before Game Against Flames
The Toronto Argonauts handed the Calgary Stampeders their second successive Grey Cup loss last week in heartbreaking fashion, returning a Calgary fumble 109 yards for a game-tying touchdown with five minutes remaining, then clinching with a late winning field goal. It was the kind of win that will f...

Shania Twain Should Do Every Halftime Show
Sled dogs. Snowy conditions. A Mountie escort. A 110-yard football field. The greatest country crossover artist in the world. Last night’s halftime show at the 2017 Grey Cup was not just the most Canadian thing ever, but also, simply, the best thing ever. While the Argonauts and Stampeders took shel...

Self-Proclaimed Lotto Winner Yet To Pay $7.5 Million He Promised To Junior Hockey Team
Last month, various Canadian news outlets featured a heartwarming story about a local man giving back to his community. A British Columbia man named Mike Gould had promised to donate $7.5 million to the Kimberly Dynamiters, a local junior hockey team. The donation was announced before a game on Octo...

Canada Accidentally Forced Olympic Hopefuls Into Midnight Curling
Ah, tiebreaker scenarios: everyone’s favorite chaotic twist to a championship run. Baseball loved them so much, it went ahead and built it into the schedule. Yet some of the wildest tiebreaking calculus of the year occurred, out of all places, in the peaceful province of Prince Edward Island this...

Curling Tries Out Its Version Of The Three-Point Line
One of basketball’s prevailing properties has been its ability to adapt. At moments in its history when the game began to grow stale, from the shot clock to the three-point line and even illegal zone defense, rules changed to incentivize scoring as well as provide an opportunity to win through diffe...

Attention: Half Of Canada Calls Kickball "Soccer Baseball"
Alarming news from the north....

55-Year-Old Curler Glenn Howard Could Represent Two Countries At The Same Olympics
Glenn Howard has been one of Canada’s top curlers for years, and the four-time world champion is again attempting to represent Canada in the 2018 Winter Olympics. The master strategist and his team, ranked 17th in the world and 11th in Canada, qualified for the opening round of the Canadian curling...

World-Class Athlete Demoted To "Just A Pretty Face," According To World-Class Moron
Genie Bouchard, who was once ranked as high as No. 5 in the world, has been having a rough time on the court. She lost to 102nd-ranked Andrea Petkovic last week and 51st-ranked Donna Vekic yesterday, and her global ranking has plummeted to No. 70. This is certainly not the trajectory that either Bo...

NFL Sells Canadian Rights To Site Currently Not Available In Canada
Last year, NFL fans in Canada were able to watch a full slate of NFL games in the way you might expect. Simply pony up the money to your cable and satellite provider and you’d be able to get NFL Sunday Ticket and the RedZone channel. If you didn’t have cable, NFL Game Pass on NFL.com provided live s...

The 2017 <i>Hockey Night In Canada</i> Season-Ending Montage Is Here
Realizing the NHL season is over for a few months while watching the victorious team parade with the Stanley Cup really sucks, but each year the Hockey Night in Canada folks help add some sweet to that bitter with its annual montage of this season’s best Stanley Cup Playoffs moments. (The music this...

Dead Letter: Special Hockey Edition
Subj: Your Hockey Coverage at Deadspin...

Canadian PM Justin Trudeau: At A Bar, Flush The Urinal With Your Elbow
Friend of the program Jonah Keri landed a heck of an interview for his podcast today: Canadian prime minster/mega-hunk Justin Trudeau. Montreal-native Keri and the PM had an excellent conversation about politics and the Canadian identity (or lack of one), and how Trudeau managed to build a cabinet t...

USA Reigns Supreme Again After Overtime Win Over Canada In World Championship Final
The United States women’s hockey team is world champions again after Hilary Knight scored ten minutes into overtime to defeat Canada, its opponent in the previous 17 world championship finals....

For The 18th Straight Time, USA And Canada Will Be In The Women's Hockey World Championship Final
The U.S. women’s hockey team extended their run in the 2017 IIHF World Championships last night, trouncing Germany in the semifinals to set up a meeting in the gold medal game tonight against their old rival Canada, who they’ve faced in every final of the event’s 17-year history. ...

After Contract Dispute, U.S. Women's Hockey Is Into World Championship Semifinals
A week ago, the participation of the U.S. women’s hockey team in the IIHF World Championship was uncertain, as they were struggling through contract negotiations with USA Hockey in hopes of ensuring equitable pay and treatment. But two days before the tournament started, the sides reached an agreeme...

Bad Hockey Man Gets Jail Time For Drunkenly Breaking Opponent's Face With His Stick
On May 7, 2016, Ryan Cox was playing in a 3-on-3 tournament at the Fort Erie Leisureplex when he skated in on goal and got his face backed in by a two-handed strike from goalie Todd Ball’s stick. Cox was rushed to the hospital, where he was forced to undergo extensive facial reconstruction surgery. ...

Thrilled Puppy Briefly Joins Cross-Country Ski Race
An excited dog got loose and bounded into a World Cup cross-country skiing race on Sunday in Quebec City, and it was exactly as cute as you’d think....

Ryan Dempster Performs Act Of Valor By Facing Fearsome Dominican Republic Lineup In Return To Baseball
Ryan Dempster last pitched in a professional baseball game in 2013. He then decided to walk away and leave money on the table rather than keep playing, wrapping up a very respectable career at age 36 after 16 years in the majors. But now, nearing his 40th birthday, he decided to give the game a try ...