cardinals Page 65 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Dodge Chargers Are Not Free, Gabe Watson
The Arizona Cardinals are loaded with nefarious characters these days. They've got womanizing quarterbacks, prostitute-soliciting assistant coaches, and now, a defensive lineman who sticks his old high school coach with his car payments....
NCAA Pants Party: Louisville Vs. Stanford
Louisville Cardinals (23-9) vs. Stanford Cardinal (18-12) When: Thursday, 12:20 p.m. Where: Lexington...
Louisville Cardinals
1. Time to make the donuts. The Cardinals' late-season turnaround is due in large part to the emergence of Louisville's talented freshman class, including center Derrick Caracter. DC, who has footwork that Greg Oden would kill for, has gotten his act together after serving a pair of suspensions this...
The New Buzzsaw Regime Supports Local Business
Richie Anderson, former NFL running back and recently hired as wide receivers coach of the Arizona Cardinals, was finding it difficult to make friends in his new community....
David Eckstein Wants To Help Other Dwarves
We've seen World Series MVP David Eckstein in pretty much every possible situation this winter, fooling around with pro wrestlers, showing up in wedding magazines and, of course, chugging tequila straight out of the bottle. So it's inevitable that he'd end up promoting stepstools for really short pe...
What Kind Of Bet Would The Pink Taco Make?
When mayors make their yearly dopey bets on certain sports series — "If the Colts win, you'll give us your deep dish pizza, and if your Bears win, we'll give you some dreary dead-end manufacturing jobs!" — it's silly, but kind of cute, in a "white people in suits trading beans" type of way. But when...
Albert Pujols Knows Who Wrote The Star-Spangled Banner
A few years ago, Red Sox dingbat Manny Ramirez garnered some rare positive press for becoming an American citizen and carrying an American flag through the outfield. Wednesday, Cardinals first baseman Albert Pujols became an American citizen by acing his citizenship test, scoring a perfect 100 perce...
Matt Simms Can Roll A Fat One (In A Slightly Different Fashion Than His Brother Can)
You might not have realized that Phil Simms actually has two football playing sons. The first is Chris Simms, of course, who was John Amaechi before it was COOL to be John Amaechi. But the second is Matt Simms, who is about to attend Louisville and has proven to be a bit of an asshead....
The Extorted St. Louis Athlete Is... Ronnie Belliard
A little over a week ago, Will brought to your attention a mysterious unnamed player who was the target of an attempted extortion ... his identity was unknown at the time, and this story was a lot more fun then. The player is ... (drum roll)......
Dick Vitale's Attention Deficit Disorder
Some jobs in the world have to be considered a labor of hate; it's a ton of work, it drives you crazy, it's miserable ... but it's existence makes the world a better place....
Buzzsaw Hires The Whiz
Despite initial rumors that had them hiring (ugh) Mike Sherman, Our Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals have hired Steelers offensive coordinator Ken Whisenhunt to be their new head coach. The Buzzsaw players can barely contain their excitement....
Matt Leinart Nurses Ailing Shoulder with Glute Pinching Exercises
Rumors are swirling about Arizona Cardinals quarterback Matt Leinart's ailing shoulder, and whether or not said shoulder should be put under such duress as it must have been while allegedly throwing Britney Spears all over the place last weekend and playing Redbirds Grabass with many an ususpecti...
Now Boarding The Arizona Cardinals Plane ... Pete Carroll?
Our fearless leader Will Leitch is on vacation for one more day, which means that we can speculate rampantly on the next Arizona Cardinals head coach without fear of nail gun puncture wounds. May we say right at the outset, Steve Mariucci? Ha, that felt good....
It's The Arizona Cardinals Plane! Perfectly Safe! All Aboard, Everyone!
Wouldn't it be slightly hilarious if Denny Green shows up at the Phoenix airport today, and this is the only plane out? Since Mr. Leitch is still on vacation, it's up to us to make sense of this news release from our new friends at US Airways....
David Eckstein Is One Scrappy, Gutty Wrestler
We don't cover much professional wrestling around here, because, as athletic an enterprise as it might be, it's not really, you know, sports. But — shockingly! — tons of professional athletes love wrestling; we think it's the tights....
Bonds In St. Louis, And What It Could Mean For The Human Condition
Part of being a sports fan is making internal deals with yourself. Sure, you might despise, say, Charles Oakley when he's on the other team, but when he's on your team, he's indispensable and the guy you scream for. No matter what he has done in the past, no matter how much he has hurt your team or ...
Tony LaRussa's Wife Cashes In Some Chips
You know, when you manage a baseball team, you're away from your family most of the year, so when the offseason comes, and you go home, you kind of owe your wife and family some favors. They've earned them....
Nothing More Enraging Than A Buzzsaw Loss
You know, we have to admit, if we were a fan of the St. Louis Rams, or, say, a former USC star who isn't even strong enough right now to make the active roster of the St. Louis Rams, after losing convincingly to the Buzzsaw yesterday, well, we might want to stab someone in the face too....
Albert Pujols Not Only Wants MVP, He Wants Your "Best Boss Ever" Coffee Mug
It might not be the most pleasant matter for us to bring up here, but we kind of have to come out and say it: Our man Albert Pujols came off as a bit of a jerk yesterday....