cars Page 13 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Eagles Have Everything Set Up
The Eagles showed they were committed to Carson Wentz in February, when they let Nick Foles take his dick somewhere else. And by signing Wentz to a four-year extension two years before they had to, as the Eagles did Thursday night, they showed too that they’re all-in on him....
Blues Honor Rent-A-Car Company With Color Guard Flag, Then Quietly Dishonor It
You might think sports are about sports. No. They’re about the troops. And America. And sometimes Canada too, but rarely in the NHL playoffs. But how can you prove, if you’re a team in, say, the Stanley Cup Final, that you really care about America and its uniformed services? (If you go one day with...
Carsen Edwards Went Full Supernova For Purdue And Somehow It Wasn't Enough
An ecstatic Elite Eight duel between Virginia and Purdue on Saturday night ended in Boilermaker heartbreak. Despite the superhuman efforts of junior guard Carsen Edwards, who tried with all his might to drag Purdue to the Final Four, the Cavaliers came out with an improbable 80-75 victory....
At Least The Oscars Satisfied Mike Francesa
When the Oscars handed Best Picture to Green Book, the filmic equivalent of saying “I don’t see color,” it was widely seen a goof on the order of Crash winning the same in 2006. Awards shows are stupid, sure, and the Oscars reliably get things wrong in silly and self-conscious ways. But you could at...
The Hater’s Guide To The 2019 Oscars
I remember I used to have a hard time waiting for the Oscars to arrive. I shit you not. I would get super jazzed for them, then roll my eyes at the prospect of having to wait for months between the end of the movie year and the stupid ceremony. I, uh, no longer feel this way. The Oscars come around ...
Let's Remember Some Guys Who Threw Terrible Passes At Larry Fitzgerald
Larry Fitzgerald is not ready to sit at home and get better at trolling his son. Today the Arizona Cardinals announced that the wide receiver would return for another season, his 16th with the team....
Carson Wentz's Teammates Either Love Him Or Despise Him
It’s the day after the conference championship games and it is unfortunately time to talk about the Eagles. This is because, according to a new report from Philly Voice, the Eagles really hate franchise quarterback Carson Wentz. But also, according to a few tweets from Wentz’s teammates, everyone lo...
Report: Carson Wentz Has A Fractured Vertebra
Eagles QB Carson Wentz has been dealing with back issues all season, and after undergoing a battery of tests earlier this week, he apparently has been diagnosed with a fractured vertebra. ESPN’s Adam Schefter got the scoop, and the injury seems like it will probably keep him out at least this weeken...
Ass Team Of The Week: You And The Philadelphia Eagles Will Be Trampled By The Stampede Of Time And Left For Dead
Here is an easy prediction to make: the Philadelphia Eagles are certainly not going to repeat as Super Bowl champions. It’s very unlikely, at this point, that they will even return to the playoffs. Their 4-6 record relays that information plainly enough, but the 48-7 loss they suffered at the hands ...
Doug Pederson, Scolding Reporter For Asking Same Question A Different Way: "Ask It A Different Way"
By my count, Eagles head coach Doug Pederson was asked five different times about the status of Carson Wentz in his Sunday afternoon press conference. The first was something like “has Carson been cleared for contact,” and from there the assorted reporters tried out a few promising variations....
Every Parent Has A Road Trip From Hell. Here's Mine.
I never threaten to turn the car around. That’s a cliché and an empty threat, but more important it offends my sensibilities as a father. I will never turn the car around and sacrifice the time I’ve made. Ever. We could accidentally leave grandma’s heart meds back at the house and I’m still not goin...
Blue Jackets Prospect Who Thought He Had Serious Disease Instead Crapped Out 25-Inch Tapeworm
Columbus Blue Jackets prospect and former Miami (Ohio) hockey player Carson Meyer might look really tired in the above image from a June 2017 interview, but any visible gauntness might be from the fact that he had a goddamn tapeworm in his body for, according to doctors, a full year....
Red Sox Pitcher Carson Smith Suffers Potentially Major Injury After Throwing His Glove In Frustration
Carson Smith tossed one inning in relief for the Red Sox in yesterday’s loss to the Oakland A’s, giving up a home run to Khris Davis. After he left the game, he was apparently mad at himself, and he tossed his glove in frustration. That’s a normal and fine reaction, but Smith injured himself doing s...
The New Teen Thing Will Give You More Anxiety Than Any Game Tonight
I’m a newly minted old person in a high-density city, so I don’t get in cars much anymore. But one of the quaint pleasantries of cruising around town was holding your hand out the window and letting the air guide it up and down like a chill, cool wave....
Kobe Bryant Now Has As Many Oscars As He Does NBA MVP Awards
Kobe Bryant and Glen Keane tonight won the Academy Award for Best Animated Short Film tonight in Los Angeles for Dear Basketball, based on the poem he wrote to announce his retirement from basketball in 2015. In his brief speech, he noted that while some expect basketball players to “shut up and dri...
The 2018 Hater’s Guide To The Oscars<em></em>
I was asleep last year when Warren Beatty, who last made a good movie before the advent of the steam engine, and Faye Dunaway botched the Best Picture announcement for Moonlight. I have very few regrets about this because I just watched it on YouTube the next day and because, if you go by the analyt...
Lead Car's Dumbass Automatic Braking System Causes Painful Crash At Bike Race
Cars with automatic brake sensors built into them are wonderful when used in cities and other places where they can keep unaware drivers from killing cyclists. However, a bike race’s lead car is perhaps the worst possible vehicle for the technology, and five cyclists were the unfortunate victims of ...
The Hurricanes' New Owner Got Rich Off Subprime Loans<em></em>
Last Thursday, the Hurricanes officially announced that owner Peter Karmanos had sold a majority stake in the franchise to Thomas Dundon. Dundon bought 61 percent of the team, paid a reported $420 million, and has the option to buy the rest of the franchise in three years. He’s boys with Tony Romo a...
Carson Wentz Tore His ACL And The Eagles Have To Use Nick Foles, Again
Eagles QB Carson Wentz had to leave Sunday’s game with a knee injury, and the citizens of Philadelphia waited with bated breath and clenched buttholes for any updates, hopefully not involving any three-letter medical abbreviations. But the news today wasn’t good: Wentz is done for the year....
Things Eagles Fans Said Outside The L.A. Coliseum About Carson Wentz’s Injury
LOS ANGELES — I knew it as soon as I saw Carson Wentz walking to the tunnel. The Eagles had just scored a touchdown to take the lead. The Coliseum, which had to be about 40 percent Eagles fans, was rocking. But from Row 93 I spotted it. Wentz was walking to the tunnel with a towel over his head....