cba Page 10 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Pitcher Who Set An Olympic Strikeout Record Arrested For Cooking Meth Near An Alabama Grammar School
Here's a short version of Billy Lyle "BJ" Wallace Jr.'s life: Such a good baseball player as a youth that he made the 1992 U.S. Olympic team, notched a record 14 strikeouts in a game vs. Italy, was the the third pick in the MLB draft, signed a $550,00 contract with the Expos and knocked around the ...

Soccer Hooliganism In Switzerland Features A Lot Of SWAT-Team Intimidating Violence
You'd have been forgiven if you didn't think the land that gave us Roger Federer and Toblerone white chocolate was capable of bottle-throwing, stick-swinging, flare-wielding, mace-throwing, cop-scaring hooliganism....

The Chinese Basketball Association Doesn't Want Kobe Bryant To Play Next Season, Either
One nice, unproductive distraction from the lockout has been to speculate about which NBA players will spend the lockout playing in China, Turkey, and, somehow, England. But now the Chinese Basketball Association has gone and deprived us even of that pleasure, announcing today that it would not perm...

FC Barcelona Attempts To Train On National Mall, Gets Smacked Down By Surly Park Police Officer
There was a time when rowdy pick-up soccer games took place on the Ellipse in front of the White House, when a powerful leg could damn near reach the Rose Garden. No longer. The pigs cracked down after 9/11, when it was decreed that foreign commie sports enjoyed by minorities were not to be played...

"Champagne King" Don Johnson Is At It Again, This Time With The U.S. Women's Soccer Team
We've mentioned Don Johnson on this site before, first because of his exploits at the blackjack tables in Atlantic City and later because of his exploits in nightclubs, where he buys enormous bottles of expensive champagne and sprays people with his foam. On Monday, party Johnson popped up in Avenue...

We've Found The Lass Responsible For The Lone Amstel Light On The Bruins' $156,000 Bar Tab
When the Bruins threw down with an epic body count at their Stanley Cup celebrations at Foxwoods, the world was drawn not to the six-figure bottle of champagne: Armand de Brignac is so played out. Instead it was the solo Amstel Light, a beacon of moderation and taste in a storm of crapulence. ...

One Armand De Brignac Midas Bottle For £120,000! An Unscientific Analysis Of An Enormous Johnson's Epic Bar Tab In London
Atlantic City casino scourge Don Johnson (not to be confused with 80s-era TV scourge Don Johnson) must have seen the damage the Bruins did in the MGM Grand bar in Foxwoods recently. He must have burned with envy. For those of you unaware, Don Johnson has earned the dubious moniker of "The Champagne ...

136 Bud Lights For Only $680! An Unscientific Analysis Of The Boston Bruins' Epic Bar Tab From Foxwoods
The photo of this receipt is hazy (full version here), and that's how it should be. Mere hours after riding through the streets of Boston in Duck Boats, the Bruins took the Stanley Cup to the MGM Grand at Foxwoods and set to drinking. First came the bottle of Bacardi and 18 sugar free Red Bulls. "Su...

Lionel Messi Attended The Sex And Alcohol Party For The Video Games
Lionel Messi has never really known a scandal in his young life, and so it is about time that the Argentinian tabloids create one for him: Libre reported this week that the 23-year-old had attended a party with "sexo, alcohol y cumbia." ESPN's Off The Ball blog has Messi's reaction to the accusation...

Trent Boras Will Probably Be The Most Disappointing Major Leaguer Of Scott Boras's Career
Major League Baseball is merciful enough to not force its annual three-day draft onto us in the form of a television package deal with weeping grandmothers and incarcerated fathers. For that, we are grateful. But we'll admit that it would have made for great television to see Scott Boras react to Bu...

Hockey Player Misses Five Minutes Of Game Time With Broken Face, Returns In Time For Season-Losing Goal
Your morning roundup for May 29, the day after death told the world that the puffy-faced Grandma Bandit was actually a man....

Tubby Messi Impersonator Dribbles Past Old Women, Sheep To Reenact Goal Against Real Madrid
That's how easy it is to get to Wembley, according to this silly video which looks to have been made by Opel and recreates Messi's second goal against Madrid in the first leg of the Champion's League semifinal. There's also a version with crones:...

Lionel Messi Got A Stern Talking-To For Breaking An Airplane Wall (With Video)
It's all fun and games until a bunch of dudes celebrating their La Liga title on a plane take it one step too far. Specifically, hitting the wall of said plane so hard that a panel near the emergency exit falls off. Even more specifically, when the person doing the hitting is Lionel Messi of F.C. B...

55 Grey Goose Cocktails For Only $770! An Unscientific Analysis Of The Epic Bar Tab From Tryst In Las Vegas
A few caveats: 1.) This booze session took place in Vegas; 2.) It took place at Tryst, which for those of you fortunate enough to never have been intoxicated therein, can inflict permanent damage to the wallet. That said, this is still an impressive receipt, a full version of which you can view here...

Announcer Stays Cool As Foul Ball Smashes Into Press Box
At a game last month, Southern Illinois University Edwardsville announcer Joe Pott maintained his composure and his baritone has a ball came through the window at him. Keep an eye on this guy, folks. [h/t Daryl]...

Your Barcelona-Real Madrid Cuarto Clásico Open Thread
This one's for all the skittles. Real Madrid must overcome a two-goal deficit in Barcelona to get into the Champions League final. No easy task, not when Barcelona defends by keeping possession. The clásicos have been oddly disappointing so far, as Brian Phillips points out at Slate:...

Before Returning To Lockout Mode, Every NFL Franchise Decided Against Drafting A Bone-Cancer Survivor
Your morning roundup for May 1, the day after Seth Meyers said Weekend Update stuff to people's faces....

Both Barcelona And Real Madrid Managed To Embarrass Real Madrid During, After El Clásico IV
FC Barcelona's Lionel Messi, unarguably the best soccer player on the face of the Earth, scored two goals within 11 minutes during Wednesday's first-leg UEFA Champions League semifinal match against Real Madrid....

Your Real Madrid-Barcelona Tercero Clásico Open Thread
Lots of really awesome and famous soccer players will play soccer against each other in Madrid in the first leg of their Champions League semifinal. Cristiano Ronaldo will wow. Lionel Messi will wow. And the two team coaches, er, managers, will definitely wow. They always do. Sometimes the action ...

Marriage License: Chris Bosh Is Officially Spoken For. Chris Bosh: No I'm Not.
Your morning roundup for April 24, a day Gabrielle Giffords continues struggling to recover, but recovering she is....