cba Page 9 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Stephon Marbury, Champion, Had A Semi-Nice Thing To Say About Mike D'Antoni
When Stephon Marbury left the world of NBA veteran's minimums for the Chinese Basketball Association, he vowed to win a title. Two years later, and Starbury is indeed a champion. Knicks fans, look away....

Watch All 234 Goals Leo Messi Scored To Break The Barcelona Record
It's sometimes easy to forget how good Leo Messi is. He performs extraordinary feats with such regularity they seem routine. Messi scores. Again. Messi dribbles through five defenders and scores. Again. Messi dribbles through five defenders, is hacked mercilessly, refuses to go down, dances around...

Even George Karl Has Jumped Aboard The Messi Bandwagon
As NBA players sent messages of support to Ricky Rubio upon news of his ACL tear, Nuggets head coach George Karl showed his softer side by sporting an FC Barcelona shirt while meeting with the press yesterday. Karl's son Coby played with Rubio on Joventut Badalona after fizzling out in the NBA and ...

Lionel Messi Is The First To Ever Score Five Goals In A Champions League Match
Barcelona made easy work of Leverkusen in the return leg of their UEFA Champions League round of 16 series, winning 7-1 (10-2 aggregate)—but it was another night to celebrate Lionel Messi, who became the first player to ever score five goals in one Champions League match and the 11th in the histo...

42 "Pussy" Shots For £126! An Unscientific Analysis Of The Epic £203,948.80 Bar Tab From A Liverpool Nightclub
Where to begin with this epic bar tab (full version at the bottom)? It's so single-minded, so devoid of nuance. I hate it. When Petchesky first directed my attention to this abomination, which was posted a few places yesterday, I thought it could only belong to one man—Don Johnson, the "champagne ki...

The CBA All-Star Game Featured The Worst Sequence Of Professional Basketball Ever
The Chinese Basketball Association All-Star Weekend just passed, and featured the same things you'd expect from such an event: a rising stars game, slam dunk contest, three-point competition, and a half-heartedly played All-Star Game....

Please Get J.R. Smith Out Of China Before His Family Starts World War III
The last time we checked in with J.R. Smith, he was breaking ankles while his sister Stephanie was starting brawls....

J.R. Smith Shattered Three Pairs Of Ankles (Including Stephon Marbury's) In A Single CBA Game
Here is video evidence that J.R. Smith's extended stay in China has, statistically speaking, involved more broken ankles than brawls spearheaded by his sister. Heart of Beijing has dutifully compiled video of three incidents: The first you see here actually caused an injury, and the final step-bac...

Barcelona Striker David Villa Snaps Tibia In FIFA Club World Cup Match
Spain's all-time record scorer David Villa will be off the pitch for months after suffering this nasty broken leg during Barcelona's FIFA Club World Cup match against Qatari side Al-Sadd....

It Took Real Madrid 25 Seconds To Score In <em>El Clásico</em>
A major blunder by Barça's Victor Valdes let Real Madrid's Karim Benzema sneak one into the goal as scoring in one of the most-anticipated matches in recent memory got underway less than a minute into the contest. [ESPN Deportes]...

Stephon Marbury Does His Own Laundry In China
The Wall Street Journal visited Stephon Marbury in Beijing, where he's still playing ball for the CBA's undefeated Beijing Ducks and basking in the "serenity and peace of the country." Marbury is so zen he's even folding his own laundry in a modestly sized apartment. It's like StarburyTV never even ...

MLB Makes It A Little More Comfortable To Be Gay
The biggest talking point in MLB's new collective bargaining agreement is draft slotting, which paradoxically penalizes certain small-market teams by limiting signing bonuses. Opinions are split, but everyone can agree that if this is the biggest controversy, baseball's in a million times better sha...

MLB's New Draft Rules, Designed To Increase Competitive Balance, Help Kill It
Major League Baseball and the players' union inked a new, five-year collective bargaining agreement today, and that's all well and good. We won't have another 1994, at least not for a while, and, yes, you can hear NBA fans groaning in the corner over there. There will be plenty of baseball. And, if ...

For The 2013 Season, The Astros Will Go To The AL West And Basically Everyone Will Go To The Playoffs
MLB's owners unanimously approved the sale of the Houston Astros from Drayton McLane to Jim Crane today, and included a $65 million price cut in the deal. The Astros will leave the NL Central and join the AL West for the 2013 season, and, to the relief of symmetricists everywhere, each league will h...

One Armand De Brignac Nebuchadnezzar For Only $100,000! An Unscientific Analysis Of The Zac-Efron-And-Heather-Graham-Inspired Chicago Bar Bill
People are making a big deal out of the epic bar tab this week (full version here), but I don't see why. Far as I can tell, it was just another Tuesday night in the Board Room, Chicago's epicenter of cool. Another Tuesday night with the top people in the Midwest. Have you been to the Board Room? It'...

These German Soccer Fans Were Thrown Out Of A Stadium For Having Sex In The Stands (Twice)
Scoreless soccer games can be terribly boring. Like any long car ride, though, there are distractions for the monotony: songs, chants, popcorn, beer, "the wave"—and also, sex in public....

A Belarusian Goalie Participated In A Lionel Messi Trick-Shot Goal Today
It took just six seconds for Alyaksandr Pyotravich Hutar, goalkeeper extraordinaire for FC Bate Borisov, to look at his gloves after Lionel Messi scored the first of his two goals in UEFA Champions League play today. Because it was their fault, the whole perfectly bouncing the ball in front to ser...

FC Barcelona Asks Nike For Jerseys That Won't Weigh Them Down With Their Own Sweat
Technically speaking, the Nike Dri-Fit fabric is designed to "to wick sweat away and help keep you dry and comfortable."...

Ferran Adria Will Provide Avant-Garde Food Particles To FC Barcelona's Future Lionel Messis
Understandably, FC Barcelona wants to create an entire youth generation of budding Lionel Messis. The kind of young men who dream about soccer. The kind of young men who attend the sex and alcohol parties for the video games. The kind of young men who will eat only the finest, most sought-after cuis...

Alexandre Pato And Leo Messi Create Some Great Goals As AC Milan And Barcelona Kick Off The Champions League Season
Cracker of a match yesterday between AC Milan and Barcelona. Alexandre Pato turned on some otherworldly speed to score for MIlan just 24 seconds after kickoff (above). Then it was Leo Messi's turn (below, with other highlights). How Messi gets in that centering pass to Pedro for the Barcelona equa...