cheese Page 1 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Get ready for lavish sports-themed resorts in college towns, as the expense of fandom continues to increase
Since America encourages maximum luxury that is far too expensive for the average person, of course, a project combining sports and extravagance is headed for college towns. Sports Illustrated has already built a sports-themed resort in the Dominican Republic, where the 2023 Swimsuit issue was shot....
Find someone who loves you like Vince Young loves The Cheesecake Factory
There’s a new leader in the clubhouse for athletes who blew a ridiculous amount of money in the worst ways. Vince Young, everybody’s favorite Longhorn quarterback, made more than $35 million in his seven-year career. And he spent a lot of it at The Cheesecake Factory. ...
Jimmy Butler Compares Himself To A Work Of Art, Specifically A Banksy
No forecast of Jimmy Butler’s surging cheese levels, no matter how thorough, could have anticipated the day he compared himself to a Banksy artwork. It’s too on the nose, but that’s exactly what the Heat forward told Haute Living in last week’s profile. (Also revealed: Butler has taken on a bit of a...
Jimmy Butler Will Reach His Final Form In Miami
It took zero days of Miami Heat training camp for cheese to continue cascading out of Jimmy Butler’s pores. In truth, the cheese began to flow T-minus 6.5 hours before camp even started: Butler got up at 3:30 a.m. on Tuesday to squeeze in a morning workout, per the Miami Herald, and he made sure eve...
Kevin Durant Wishes To Separate Himself From "The Machine," But Plugs Into It Daily
J.R. Moehringer has a rich profile of Kevin Durant, in the middle of his Achilles rehab, up at the Wall Street Journal today. The new Brooklyn Net drains deep threes in a swimming pool, explains the decay of his relationship with Oklahoma City, details the purported offensive limitations of the Gold...
I Went To SoHo To Find Kevin Durant And All I Found Was A Bunch Of Clothes I Can't Afford
Where in the world in Kevin Durant headed? is one of the most interesting questions in the NBA right now. Where in the world is Kevin Durant currently? is a much less compelling cousin of that question, but one we are somewhat better equipped to answer. Assuming that older brother Tony is posting hi...
In Shocking Betrayal, Penn Basketball Ditches Cheesesteaks For Fish Burritos
The Penn men’s basketball team is 5-2 so far this year; freshman Michael Wang has been particularly impressive. Their losses are to Kansas State and Oregon State. The only blip this season so far is losing Ryan Betley for the season five minutes into the opening game. (Penn rallied to win at George ...
Kevin Durant Has Suggestion For Heckler: "Watch The Fucking Game And Shut The Fuck Up"
The Warriors, who might not be all that functional without Steph Curry to make them whir, went 0-3 on their Texas road trip last week. At some point early in Saturday’s 112-109 loss to the Mavericks, Kevin Durant walked up to the front row of fans, craned forward and attempted to shut up some heckle...
Wisconsin Woman Displays Incredible Knowledge Of Cheese
The Bucks decided to run one of the most Wisconsin in-game fan contests ever on Sunday. In order to receive an autographed basketball, a fan had to name more cheeses than Milwaukee guard Sterling Brown did in the span of 30 seconds (17). With a foam cheese on her head, and a toddler on her arm, this...
Kevin Durant Bemoans Basketball Media's "Pure Hate For Me Obviously"<em></em>
Here’s a recent quote from the 2008 Rookie of the Year, 2014 MVP, and eight-time All-NBA selection, who has won the Finals MVP two years running, and who elected, on two separate instances, to sign with the Golden State Warriors: “You know they’re not going to give me anything.” When asked why he’s ...
The Cheesemonger Invitational Is Where Cheese Becomes A Sport<em></em><em></em>
The public-facing component of The Cheesemonger Invitational is a dairy bacchanalia where ticket-buying attendees can consume their weight in unlimited cheese. But behind the scenes at the bright, industrial space on the Brooklyn waterfront, the pros have come to compete. ...
Michael Porter Jr. Compares Himself To Elite NBA Players, Says He's Glad To Be Compared To Elite NBA Players
Michael Porter Jr., a lottery prospect who may be selected by the brain geniuses of Sacramento at No. 2 or may fall somewhere around the seven-ish range, sure has draft experts mumbling about his Character Issues. Their voices descend to bassy, knowing tones, and their sentences swell into ominous g...
Kevin Durant Lightly Restrained After Hearing Very Funny Or Very Boring Heckle<em></em>
Last night, it was not “KD you suck” that got Kevin Durant’s attention and made him walk slowly in the direction of the heckler, but rather that classic barb that gets under everyone’s skin: “KD! You cheesebutt!”...
The People Fell Down The Hill Chasing The Cheese Again
The English county of Gloucestershire held its annual cheese rolling race Monday, and a bunch of people, whose bones were hopefully fortified by consuming the daily recommended amount of calcium, tumbled down a steep hill as they tried to chase that Gloucester cheese wheel we all know and love....
England Cheese Rolling Festival Canceled Because Kids Don’t Think It’s Cool Anymore
Kids nowadays! All they care about is Nando’s and Jeremy Corbyn and none of them even want to hear just how dope it can be to roll a fake block of cheese down the street. That’s why the annual Stilton, England cheese rolling competition has been canceled this year....
Penn Scores 100 Points, Wins Fans Free Cheesesteaks
Penn achieved culinary satisfaction last night....
Penn Coach Sorry For Costing Fans A Shot At Free Cheesesteaks, Vows Future Culinary Satisfaction
The University of Pennsylvania Quakers men’s basketball team took on Penn State Brandywine at the Palestra on Saturday, and I was in attendance. I took my dad, who actually played for Penn State Brandywine back when it was Penn State’s Delaware County extension campus. I figured getting to see my al...
I Have Conquered The Meaty Cheese Dip
Recently, I had a specific hankering. A hankering for piling delicious meaty cheese dip onto tortilla chips and ramming them into my face. This is the kind of hankering a fundamentally depraved sort of person has when left alone in a home for more than a couple hours: a dark degradation into self-de...
Ted Cruz Talks About Dripping Melted Cheese Down His Face<em></em>
Earlier today, during a casual run-in with reporters, Ted Cruz apparently decided that we have yet to be sufficiently punished for our collective misdeeds. To rectify the situation, Ted Cruz talked about how much he enjoys dribbling queso down his flesh-mask’s mottled chin....