chicago Page 101 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Julian Dalrymple, The "Jackass" Whose Blowjob Faces Behind Wrigley Field's Home Plate Went Viral, Is Here To Take Your Questions
We didn't quite expect this video to become an Internet sensation when we posted it earlier this week, but goodness gracious do people love pantomimed blowjobs. At the time we called culprit Julian Dalrymple a "jackass," though it turns out he's actually a pretty nice guy who has a penchant for at...

Dale Sveum Doesn't Even Have The Heart To Be Mad At His Players For Not Paying Attention
This is life as a Cubs manager. There are 25 people (40 in September!) whose only goal in life seems to be to give you agita. They do bad baseball things, but even worse they do dumb baseball things, and after a while it just becomes too much to take and you have to check out. There's no way to stay...

The White Sox Hope To Sleep Their Way To Success
They're in the midst of 20 games in 20 days, so the White Sox want their players to get some rest and when and where they can as they chase the AL Central title. Per CSN Chicago, that means manager Robin Ventura will be giving some players days off. But it also means they want guys to take naps:...

Jay Cutler's Baby Still Learning How To Sulk
I was browsing People's celebrity baby blog, and came upon this: the first photo of young Camden Jack Cutler. Camden's got quite the lifetime ahead, considering his parents are a vapid dullard who somehow keeps finding a way to get on television yet remains forever eluded by success, and Kristin Cav...

NBC Decides The Cubs Probably Aren't Going To Win The World Series This Year
Two screenshots. On the left, an early press photo for NBC's new show Revolution, set in a post-apocalyptic 2027, as the characters walk pass a Wrigley Field claimed by the ivy. On the right, the same picture, taken from the show's actual broadcast last night. The "2012 World Series Champions" sign ...

Some Jackass Made Blowjob Pantomimes Behind Home Plate At Wrigley For Nearly An Inning Before Getting Ejected
Weather delayed last night's Pirates-Cubs bout at Wrigley Field for several hours, and by the end of the 3-0 Pittsburgh win there weren't many fans left in the stadium. There was, however, one guy who really wanted to get on TV making blowjob faces....

Jay Mariotti Is Maxin' And Relaxin' And Writing Shitty-Ass Columns Again
Look at that picture! Just look at it! That's a picture of Jay Mariotti, taken right after he polished off his second craft beer of the afternoon, no doubt, and right before he started talking about how he's always "really appreciated" Tom Waits, and that most people don't know that about him....

Is It Poor Form To Literally Rip A Home Run Ball Out Of Another Fan's Hand?
This is from Anthony Rizzo's first of two home runs yesterday (the Pirates' collapse continues apace). I want to draw your attention not to the play, but to the two gentlemen in center, struggling over that all-important baseball. Who has the moral high ground, and the right to the ball?...

Video Of Derrick Rose's Injury Makes Derrick Rose Cry
Rose was at some stupid Adidas unveiling today, but forget that; listen to this. "Chicago Bulls star Derrick Rose started to cry Thursday when a video of him tearing his left ACL and rehabbing was played..." Now that's a lede!...

The Astros Are Now Hurting Other People With Their Ineptitude
At first, we found the Houston Astros' nightly slapstick routine to be rather endearing, and it was easy to have laugh at their repeated shenanigans. But then, through no fault but their own, the Astros couldn't even run out simple ground balls without one of their own getting hurt....

Makeshift Stripper Pole At Chicago Bears Tailgate Defeats Woman
A stripper pole with a Bears logo that's unattached to anything in the middle of a tailgate party outside Soldier Field? This probably won't end well. It doesn't....

Two Different High School Football Games Ended In Fans Fleeing The Stands Because Of Violence
In Chicago, either a stabbing or a shooting (details are still sketchy) at Simeon vs. Morgan Park High School; in Naples, Florida, players from Immokalee went into the stands to deal with some persistent hecklers after a loss to Naples High....

The Nationals And Cubs Need To Work On Their Bench-Clearing Brawl Technique
#NATITUDE was on full display tonight at Nationals Park as an inside pitch to Bryce Harper, preceded by some jawing between Nationals third base coach Bo Porter and Cubs bench coach Jamie Quirk, led to perhaps the most anticlimactic bench-clearing brawl in baseball history. Lots of pushing, some ye...

Fan Drops Two Foul Balls At White Sox Game
The closest I've ever come to catching a foul ball was in Seattle, at the Kingdome. I was sitting dead center behind home plate, about halfway up in the upper deck. The Mariners hitter had his timing right, but just got under it, sending the ball rocketing directly towards our section. A fan maybe f...

John Danks Sued For Hosting Some Brotherly Horseplay That Ended In A Spinal Injury
Danks is done for the year after shoulder surgery earlier this month, but he'll stay busy by dealing with one of the stranger lawsuits we've seen in a while....

David DeJesus Drew A Walk And Got Hit By A Pitch During The Same Plate Appearance
Last night, someone in the Cubs' bullpen plunked the Cubs' own batter, David DeJesus, who had just drawn a walk to lead off the eighth. That same bullpen then gave up nine runs in the ninth. May the Cubs never cease being the Cubs....

Lance Barrett Tosses A.J. Pierzynski And Robin Ventura, Shameless Homer Hawk Harrelson Goes Off Again
"Lance Barrett's just stunk the joint up, is all he's done, that's all he's done...he's terrible." Hawk, you might recall, got into a bit of a pickle when he referred to umpire Mark Wegner as "brutal" and "totally absurd" while questioning his baseball knowledge. He got a stern talking to from Bud ...

Scottie Pippen's Porsche Had A Fender-Bender In Chicago Today
Scottie Pippen, who is totally not bankrupt, had a minor car accident on Chicago's Magnificent Mile this afternoon. According to our tipster, his Porsche collided with an Audi at the corner of Michigan and Chestnut (right across the street from the Hancock Center). Pippen stepped out to make a phone...

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Chicago Bears
Some people are fans of the Chicago Bears. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Chicago Bears. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....

Man Dives Into Kauffman Stadium Fountain For Adam Dunn's 400th Home Run, Is Arrested
Adam Dunn blasted his 400th home run last night into the fountains at Kauffman Stadium. One industrious and, judging by his jersey, long time Chicago White Sox fan decided to retrieve the ball from its watery grave....