chicago Page 103 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Will Ferrell, Zach Galifianakis, And Ryan Dempster Ate Pizza Together On The Wrigley Field Mound
Celebrities dropping by Wrigley Field to promote their latest piece of crap is nothing new, though we're not sure if tonight's stunt before the Marlins-Cubs game has ever been done before....

Jay Cutler: I AM SO JACKED UP FOR "TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALLGAME"
Relax, Jay. Relax. It's only July and the Cubs stink anyway. We appreciate the enthusiasm, though. ...

ESPN Reports The Diamondbacks-Cubs Game Is Being Delayed By Snow
As far as we know, there is no snow at Wrigley Field on July 13. But we will update you if we learn that there is snow at Wrigley Field on July 13....

Chicago Paper: Cubs Not A Total Train Wreck, Like That Actual Train Wreck On The Front Page
The Cubs have been a mess for a while, so expectations have been a bit...lowered, let's say. To that end, the Daily Herald decided to take a page from Theo Epstein's "parallel-track" outlook for remaining competitive (woops!) in 2012 while also building for the future and run with it for a "mid-sea...

Compared To Boston, Chicago Media Is Paradise For Kevin Youkilis
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Youk only says that because he's not a Cub....

Dontrelle Willis Retires. Mark Prior Tries To Make A Comeback. Baseball Remains A Sadistic Bastard.
Dontrelle Willis retired on Monday at the age of 30, bringing to an end one of the most baffling baseball careers of the past decade. The day before, Mark Prior, nursing an oblique strain, threw a bullpen session for the Pawtucket Red Sox. He hadn't pitched in a game since June 21, when he scuffled ...

White Sox Bribing Fans To Vote Jake Peavy To The All-Star Team
It's time again for the stumpin' and campaignin' of the All-Star Game Final Vote, which I reluctantly capitalize since it's not a particularly creative branding (No "Plus One?" Or "Let's Get The Japanese Fans On Our Mailing Lists?"), and it's not particularly final, since most of these guys will get...

How Gilbert Arenas Might Not Save The Knicks From Losing Jeremy Lin
The Rockets have verbally agreed to a three-year contract worth $24.5 million with restricted free agent Omer Asik, worth about $5 million each in years one and two, and climbing to a ridiculous $14 million in the final year. The Bulls, who have the opportunity to match the offer, would find themsel...

The Weekend's Most Exciting Soccer Match Ended With A Coach Rolling Around In Tears
Let's set the scene: the home stadium of Buenos Aires side Chacarita Juniors, which finished 20th in Argentina's second division and was playing for its professional life. The stakes: remaining in Argentina's Nacional B. Chacarita was playing third division winners Nueva Chicago in the second leg ...

The Biggest Winner In Marlon Byrd's PED Bust? Marlon Byrd. The Biggest Loser? The Cubs (Of Course).
When MLB announced Monday that noted Victor Conte client Marlon Byrd would be suspended for 50 games after he tested positive for taking an estrogen inhibitor, it was reported that Byrd would be docked 50 days' pay, since that's what the rules say. The suspension began immediately, since Byrd is sti...

The First Pick In Tonight's NBA Draft Goes To ... The New Orleans Saints, According To Newspaper
We've heard all that offseason talk about bounties and fines and suspensions, but according to the Chicago Tribune, the Saints have much more pressing, immediate priorities. Taking Anthony Davis at No. 1 is a no-brainer, but they must really be fretting over what to do at No. 10 and No. 46....

Now Batting, Travis Wood Of The Chicago Ubs
Cubs pitcher Travis Wood shut down the Mets in his seven innings of action last night, though the real impact he made was on viewers stupefied by his batting helmet's misplaced logo. The cap appears to have been through some severe trauma, made all the weirder because Wood, being a pitcher, has bat...

Reports: Kevin Youkilis Traded To Chicago White Sox
The Boston Red Sox desire to trade Kevin Youkilis has been no secret and it appears both Red and White Sox have finally pulled the trigger. Reports out of the clubhouse are that Youkilis's nameplate has been removed from his locker and Bobby Valentine said there is a "situation pending."...

Won't Somebody Remind A.J. Pierzynski There Are Only Two Outs?
Top of the eighth, none on, one out, and Matt Thornton catches David DeJesus looking for strike three. The White Sox are well on their way to avoiding a sweep. OK. Looks like Starlin Castro is up next, and—hang on. A.J.? Yo, A.J.? What the—where's he going? Hey! Wait. Did everyone forget? Don't they...

Charles "Peanut" Tillman Scornfully Responds To Local Teacher's Anti-Bears Math Homework
The Bears' Pro Bowl corner Charles Tillman was promoting his Cornerstone Foundation in a suburban Chicago runner's shop, when he was approached by a teenaged girl. She was the daughter of the store's owner, and she was just killing time doing her math homework, when she came across a problem she tho...

Jeff Garlin Struggles Through "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" Before Telling Tigers Fans They Suck
Actor, comedian, and Cubs fan Jeff Garlin took issue with Tigers fans at Wrigley today for being "irritating" or, more accurately, existing. "There are just so many of them too," he told Len Kasper and Bob Brenly in the Cubs broadcast box. He decided to hang out for a while after the rough perform...

The PA Announcer From The Bulls Dynasty Did The Intros At This Wedding Reception
Sigh. Wedding receptions—tasteful, romantic, and boring. Unless you're at the Jaquette and Perkins wedding, in which case, legendary Chicago Bulls PA Ray Clay is there to Get. You. Pumped....

Jay Cutler Says Modern Football Has Left Mike Martz Behind
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: The Bears' old OC was stuck in 1999....

Wearing A Fish Bib And Singing An Italian Song Did Not Give Tommy Lasorda Or Lou Piniella A Heart Attack, TMZ Says
This was the scene Sunday evening at Bamonte's, an Italian restaurant in the Williamsburg section of Brooklyn that's been open since 1900. Bamonte's is a wonderfully old-school red-sauce joint—try the stuffed peppers appetizer and the eggplant rollatini—and it's not uncommon there for a couple of ol...

Hawk Harrelson Has "Sacks Packed With Seamen"
We received several tips about this and considered it to be sort of juvenile. Yes, yes, Hawk Harrelson said "seamen" and it sounds like "semen" and his "sacks are full of them." But then we actually watched our footage and started laughing. Maybe that makes us juvenile, who knows, but it's pretty ...