chicago Page 105 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Patrick Kane's Offseason Drinking Regimen Is Off To A Great Start
Sometimes it's easy to forget that Blackhawks star Patrick Kane is only 23 years old. Wait, did I say "sometimes... easy to forget?" I meant "always... impossible to forget." Here's Kaner being Kaner, as Kaner does, in Madison, Wis., for Cinco de Mayo on Saturday. Evidently he was more welcome than ...

Hawk Harrelson Went Silent For 63 Seconds After Jhonny Peralta's Walk-Off Home Run Beat The White Sox Last Night
The good folks at Awful Announcing have the video from the Tigers' walk-off win over Hawk's beloved White Sox last night. For 63 seconds (I counted) beginning moments before the ball goes over the wall, there is pure silence from the Chicago White Sox feed. The last thing we hear is the ball was h...

Jay Cutler And His Little Dog Have A Message For Everybody Out There
Hey! It's Jay Cutler walking his dog! Hi, Jay!...

Joakim Noah, Ankle-Breaking Point Man
The Bulls' first game without Derrick Rose was a dud—they lost Game 2 to the Sixers by 17—but for one, brief moment, Joakim Noah left poor Thaddeus Young in a heap with this fake crossover and kick-out....

Alejandro De Aza Doubles On An Infield Pop-Up
When he came to the plate in the bottom of the third, White Sox centerfielder Alejandro De Aza wisely swung at the first pitch. That's because his at-bat followed Gordon Beckham's home run, and there was still smoke in the air as a result of the ensuing fireworks. The best part of the video below mi...

Joe Cowley Has Been "Reprimanded Appropriately," Reports Paper That's Not The <i>Sun-Times</i>
Boy, how did the Sun-Times get scooped on this one? Their columnist Joe Cowley spends years trolling everyone, degrading women, and just acting like an all-around dick, and he finally gets in trouble, and I have to read about it in the Tribune? I guess the Sun-Times isn't your one-stop shop for all ...

Gross Photo Evidence You Don't Want To Be A Hockey Player
If Chicago defenseman Sami Lepisto is any example, all our stereotypes for what athletes do when they're eliminated are correct. They go golfing, and they nurse their wounds....

Twitter Asshole Joe Cowley Had Me Fired From The <i>Sun-Times</i>
It's fitting that it was on Twitter where Joe Cowley finally pushed the wrong buttons and clued everyone in to just what an ass he is. Because it was Twitter that provoked tough guy Joe into throwing his weight around, and getting me fired from the first journalism job I ever had. ...

Did Derrick Rose's Shoes Cause His Knee Injury?
Today, Chicago froths at a Nike shoe designer, Jason Petrie, who tweeted on Saturday that Derrick Rose should have signed with Nike, like LeBron did. LeBron, wrote Petrie, was only getting stronger, while Rose, thanks to his high-top adiZero Rose 2.5's, was toast, with a torn ACL....

Joe Cowley: The Best Sexist Around, Nothing's Gonna Ever Keep Him Down
So, Joe Cowley. Hilarious satirist, or serial sexist? We'll try to address that soon, but first, let's discuss why you are watching the final tournament fight scene from The Karate Kid scored to Joe Esposito's "You're The Best Around." It seems Cowley had a signature sign off for those he was thro...

Here's Something You Don't See Every Day: Adam Schefter Reports Derrick Rose Is Out For The Year With A Torn ACL
Moments ago, Adam Schefter just interrupted ESPN's wall-to-wall coverage of the NFL Draft and announced that Rose will miss the rest of the playoffs with a torn ACL following that awkward play in the final minutes of Chicago's game today....

Derrick Rose Injured In Final Minutes Of Game 1 Win Over Philadelphia 76ers
For some reason, Derrick Rose was on the court for the Chicago Bulls with a 12-point lead and a little more than a minute left in the series opener against the Sixers. Driving to the basket, he planted awkwardly and almost immediately fell out of midair in pain. Chicago would go on to win the batt...

New Era's "Chicago Vs. Chicago" Spot Is Actually Set At A Hoboken Bar
Official MLB cap provider New Era's launched a series of ads titled "Chicago Vs. Chicago" in which popular character actors Nick Offerman and Craig Robinson argue over the merits of the Cubs versus the White Sox. This debate takes place, as we're led to believe in an establishing shot, in a Chicago...

Richard Marx Goes Yard Off Dennis Eckersley, Chicago Cubs Win World Series
I have no idea how I don't remember this video, because I definitely remember the song. Maybe you don't remember it either. Maybe we buried it deep within our collective subconscious....

Philip Humber Has Pitched Major League Baseball's 21st Perfect Game Of The Modern Era
Journeyman pitcher Philip Humber joined the list of hurlers to have completed pitching's most difficult feat when he shut down the Seattle Mariners and led his Chicago White Sox to a 4-0 win at Safeco with a nine-strikeout perfect game, the modern era's 21st....

NHL Suspends Raffi Torres 25 Games For Hit On Marian Hossa
Earlier today the NHL announced that Raffi Torres will be suspended for 25 games for this violent hit on Marian Hossa....

NHL Disciplinary Math Update
Complaining that no penalty was called on this is four times as bad as doing this. Carry on....

Another Fan's Been Caught Running Onto The Field Of A Major League Game, Except This One's A Little Kid
The rash of streakers at MLB parks continued today on the south side of Chicago, as a young pup undoubtedly fueled by Skittles and apple juice ran onto the field in the top of the seventh inning of today's Orioles-White Sox game. Unlike previous offenders, he avoided harsh on-field punishment; Wh...

Lucha Libre Cubs Fan Hasn't Won <em>Campeonato Consejo Mundial</em> Since 1908
The Marlins crushed the Cubs 9-1 last night in front of an announced 25,000 spectators, one of which was this Cubs fan in headgear we can't imagine is particularly comfortable in the Miami heat. But hey, at least he got to see this a few times....

Illinois Man Arrested After He Accuses Blackhawks And Cubs Executives Of Stealing His Ideas To Win Championships
56-year-old Emanuel Kuvakos of Burr Ridge, Ill. was arrested on Tuesday night and charged with three counts of misdemeanor harassment by electronic means. At first, we imagine, Kuvakos just wanted to protect his intellectual property:...