chicago Page 107 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Small Child Attempts To Fight Professional Hockey Player
The Chicago Blackhawks were in the middle of skating out the final 15 minutes of a 6-1 thumping of the Columbus Blue Jackets when one of the most absurd-looking fights ever broke out. You may have thought it was a child playfully climbing on an adult, but it was actually two professional hockey pl...

Ozzie Guillen Has Some Refreshing Opinions About The NBA
While he waits for the Miami Marlins to report to spring training, new manager Ozzie Guillen still has some time to take to Twitter to discuss the NBA. For instance, he is tired of hearing the constant criticism of LeBron James:...

Will Ferrell Introduces Us To The Hornets, Bulls, And Luol Deng's Pet Dolphin, Chachi
Your morning roundup for Feb. 9. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. ...

The Best Part Of Sam Gagner's Eight-Point Night: Being Awarded All Three Stars
Sam Gagner gave Edmonton something it hasn't seen since the days of Wayne Gretzky and Paul Coffey, and something nobody's done in 23 years. Despite a scoreless first period for the Oilers, Gagner scored four goals against the Blackhawks, assisted on four more, and clocked in just the 16th eight-po...

Let's All Get Wasted At Patrick Kane's Coming-Out Party
Sidney Crosby suffered a neck injury, we were told. It was supposedly separate from his concussion issues, and announced by someone with the ominous title of neurological spine specialist, but we were reassured that it was fully healed. Nothing about that terse Penguins release was reassuring. Crosb...

Carlos Boozer's Young Son Chants "Let's Go Heat" While Watching Boozer Play Against The Heat
Your morning roundup for Jan. 30, the day we learned a funeral isn't the only option. Video via @blazersedge. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Patrick Kane Proves That Superman Truly Is From Chicago
Your morning roundup for Jan. 29, the day we got a little bit extra out of the ATM. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. Image via....

I Witnessed Carl Lewis Murder The National Anthem
Maybe Steven Tyler's performance of the Star Spangled Banner before the AFC championship game was the worst rendition ever, maybe not. It's on the list, anyway. And the list jogged my memory: On Jan. 21, 1993, I was in Brendan Byrne Arena when Carl Lewis sang the National Anthem....

Jay Cutler Is Not A Winner Because He Doesn't Smile At Bears Employees, Writes Crazy Person
I'm not sure where to begin with this column by Rick Telander of the Chicago Sun-Times. The headline says it's about Jay Cutler, but the first half of it has nothing to do with Jay Cutler—it's all about Tom Brady and Eli Manning, since they're in the Super Bowl. By the time Telander gets to telling...

Today In Straightforward Headlines: "Man Busted For Kicking Kitten Then Signaling Field Goal"
Police charged a South Side (Chicago) man with animal cruelty after officers say they watched him take a running start and kick his kitten 15 feet to 18 feet into the air before raising his arms to signal a successful field goal....

The White Mamba Made Kris Humphries Look Silly Last Night
The Bulls have been hard-hit by injuries, yet they keep winning. That's what happens when you can plug in Brian Scalabrine off the bench for 23 minutes. Big Scal set the tone for Chicago's fourth straight victory with a move that should make Kris Humphries very happy: it'll be shown on TV for a lo...

Kristin Cavallari And Jay Cutler Are Gonna Have A Baby
So what if Jay Cutler got injured and missed six games of the Bears' season, causing the team to miss the playoffs? He's more POTENT than he's ever been!...

Mike Martz Is Retiring
So reports Jason La Canfora. Martz tells the Chicago Sun-Times "It's time." Ominous. He's turning 61 in May....

This One's For Anyone Who's Ever Wanted To Tell A Sideline Reporter "I Love You, You're So Pretty And Beautiful"
Greg from Lemont, Sarah Kustok from CSN, you two are just about the cutest couple and this isn't creepy at all. Make it happen. [CSN Chicago]...

Matt Garza Could Be Bound For Detroit
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!...

Starlin Castro Under Investigation For Alleged Sexual Assault, Reports WBBM In Chicago
A woman in her 20s accused Castro, the Cubs' 21-year-old shortstop, of sexually assaulting her last fall. Chicago police now want to question Castro. Castro's lawyers say that the charges are "baseless," while the Cubs say they've only received "limited information." [WBBM News Radio]...

Some Dude Got Arrested For Breaking Into Wrigley Field And Ripping Ivy Off The Walls
Michael Vite, 24, allegedly entered the ballpark through a construction area around 7:30 a.m. on New Year's Day. Police say he "ran onto the field and pulled some ivy off the outfield wall." Which is pretty lame compared to this. [CBS Chicago; h/t to Disco Choo]...

Brian Urlacher's Injury Horrified His Teammates, Brought Them To Prayer
Bears All-Pro linebacker Brian Urlacher opened the new year with an MCL sprain, though his reaction was so terrifying teammates fell to their knees in prayer. From DeKalb's Daily Chronicle:...

Former Bears WR Willie Gault Is Being Accused Of Securities Fraud
A member of the '85 Super Bowl shufflers, Gault is one of six people allegedly connected with a scheme to falsely inflate the stock price of a company that makes heart-monitoring equipment. Smooth as a chocolate swirl. [Bloomberg]...

Albert Pujols's Wife Is "Mad At God," The Cubs Are Looking For A First Baseman, And More From The Hot Fucking Stove
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!...