chicago Page 107 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Dave Duerson Had Less Than $20,000 In Assets When He Committed Suicide
Dave Duerson was a millionaire and a successful CEO after the conclusion of his 11-year NFL career. But when he shot himself in the heart last year, leaving behind a note that asked his family to donate his brain for dementia testing, Duerson was going through bankruptcy proceedings. He owed hundred...

Cubs Win! Cubs Win (A Video Game-Induced, Alternate Universe World Series)!
Sony's new ad campaign for MLB 12 The Show hinges on the tagline, "So real, it's unreal." Apparently, that includes the Chicago Cubs winning the World Series, thanks to some Michael Bay-worthy special effects....

High School Basketball Announcer Shreds Vocal Cords To Pieces In Bonkers Championship Game Call
Please enjoy this gentleman (?) calling a high school game in Chicago absolutely losing his shit in the final seconds. From what we can gather in all the madness, "Hot Rod" Williams drilled a three with 2.4 seconds left to take the lead. Then all hell broke loose in the announcer's booth. We truly...

Jeff Samardzija Would Like To Eye-Hump You For A Moment
Spring training photo day is a second (or fifth) chance to make a first impression. No matter that Jeff Samardzija had had four largely irrelevant seasons in Chicago. This is 2012, and it's a new start, and a hairy intense Samardzija wants you out of those pants and in his bed before he's done smell...

Small Child Attempts To Fight Professional Hockey Player
The Chicago Blackhawks were in the middle of skating out the final 15 minutes of a 6-1 thumping of the Columbus Blue Jackets when one of the most absurd-looking fights ever broke out. You may have thought it was a child playfully climbing on an adult, but it was actually two professional hockey pl...

Ozzie Guillen Has Some Refreshing Opinions About The NBA
While he waits for the Miami Marlins to report to spring training, new manager Ozzie Guillen still has some time to take to Twitter to discuss the NBA. For instance, he is tired of hearing the constant criticism of LeBron James:...

Will Ferrell Introduces Us To The Hornets, Bulls, And Luol Deng's Pet Dolphin, Chachi
Your morning roundup for Feb. 9. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. ...

The Best Part Of Sam Gagner's Eight-Point Night: Being Awarded All Three Stars
Sam Gagner gave Edmonton something it hasn't seen since the days of Wayne Gretzky and Paul Coffey, and something nobody's done in 23 years. Despite a scoreless first period for the Oilers, Gagner scored four goals against the Blackhawks, assisted on four more, and clocked in just the 16th eight-po...

Let's All Get Wasted At Patrick Kane's Coming-Out Party
Sidney Crosby suffered a neck injury, we were told. It was supposedly separate from his concussion issues, and announced by someone with the ominous title of neurological spine specialist, but we were reassured that it was fully healed. Nothing about that terse Penguins release was reassuring. Crosb...

Carlos Boozer's Young Son Chants "Let's Go Heat" While Watching Boozer Play Against The Heat
Your morning roundup for Jan. 30, the day we learned a funeral isn't the only option. Video via @blazersedge. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Patrick Kane Proves That Superman Truly Is From Chicago
Your morning roundup for Jan. 29, the day we got a little bit extra out of the ATM. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. Image via....

I Witnessed Carl Lewis Murder The National Anthem
Maybe Steven Tyler's performance of the Star Spangled Banner before the AFC championship game was the worst rendition ever, maybe not. It's on the list, anyway. And the list jogged my memory: On Jan. 21, 1993, I was in Brendan Byrne Arena when Carl Lewis sang the National Anthem....

Jay Cutler Is Not A Winner Because He Doesn't Smile At Bears Employees, Writes Crazy Person
I'm not sure where to begin with this column by Rick Telander of the Chicago Sun-Times. The headline says it's about Jay Cutler, but the first half of it has nothing to do with Jay Cutler—it's all about Tom Brady and Eli Manning, since they're in the Super Bowl. By the time Telander gets to telling...

Today In Straightforward Headlines: "Man Busted For Kicking Kitten Then Signaling Field Goal"
Police charged a South Side (Chicago) man with animal cruelty after officers say they watched him take a running start and kick his kitten 15 feet to 18 feet into the air before raising his arms to signal a successful field goal....

The White Mamba Made Kris Humphries Look Silly Last Night
The Bulls have been hard-hit by injuries, yet they keep winning. That's what happens when you can plug in Brian Scalabrine off the bench for 23 minutes. Big Scal set the tone for Chicago's fourth straight victory with a move that should make Kris Humphries very happy: it'll be shown on TV for a lo...

Kristin Cavallari And Jay Cutler Are Gonna Have A Baby
So what if Jay Cutler got injured and missed six games of the Bears' season, causing the team to miss the playoffs? He's more POTENT than he's ever been!...

Mike Martz Is Retiring
So reports Jason La Canfora. Martz tells the Chicago Sun-Times "It's time." Ominous. He's turning 61 in May....

This One's For Anyone Who's Ever Wanted To Tell A Sideline Reporter "I Love You, You're So Pretty And Beautiful"
Greg from Lemont, Sarah Kustok from CSN, you two are just about the cutest couple and this isn't creepy at all. Make it happen. [CSN Chicago]...

Matt Garza Could Be Bound For Detroit
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!...

Starlin Castro Under Investigation For Alleged Sexual Assault, Reports WBBM In Chicago
A woman in her 20s accused Castro, the Cubs' 21-year-old shortstop, of sexually assaulting her last fall. Chicago police now want to question Castro. Castro's lawyers say that the charges are "baseless," while the Cubs say they've only received "limited information." [WBBM News Radio]...