chicago Page 108 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

I Witnessed Carl Lewis Murder The National Anthem
Maybe Steven Tyler's performance of the Star Spangled Banner before the AFC championship game was the worst rendition ever, maybe not. It's on the list, anyway. And the list jogged my memory: On Jan. 21, 1993, I was in Brendan Byrne Arena when Carl Lewis sang the National Anthem....

Jay Cutler Is Not A Winner Because He Doesn't Smile At Bears Employees, Writes Crazy Person
I'm not sure where to begin with this column by Rick Telander of the Chicago Sun-Times. The headline says it's about Jay Cutler, but the first half of it has nothing to do with Jay Cutler—it's all about Tom Brady and Eli Manning, since they're in the Super Bowl. By the time Telander gets to telling...

Today In Straightforward Headlines: "Man Busted For Kicking Kitten Then Signaling Field Goal"
Police charged a South Side (Chicago) man with animal cruelty after officers say they watched him take a running start and kick his kitten 15 feet to 18 feet into the air before raising his arms to signal a successful field goal....

The White Mamba Made Kris Humphries Look Silly Last Night
The Bulls have been hard-hit by injuries, yet they keep winning. That's what happens when you can plug in Brian Scalabrine off the bench for 23 minutes. Big Scal set the tone for Chicago's fourth straight victory with a move that should make Kris Humphries very happy: it'll be shown on TV for a lo...

Kristin Cavallari And Jay Cutler Are Gonna Have A Baby
So what if Jay Cutler got injured and missed six games of the Bears' season, causing the team to miss the playoffs? He's more POTENT than he's ever been!...

Mike Martz Is Retiring
So reports Jason La Canfora. Martz tells the Chicago Sun-Times "It's time." Ominous. He's turning 61 in May....

This One's For Anyone Who's Ever Wanted To Tell A Sideline Reporter "I Love You, You're So Pretty And Beautiful"
Greg from Lemont, Sarah Kustok from CSN, you two are just about the cutest couple and this isn't creepy at all. Make it happen. [CSN Chicago]...

Matt Garza Could Be Bound For Detroit
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!...

Starlin Castro Under Investigation For Alleged Sexual Assault, Reports WBBM In Chicago
A woman in her 20s accused Castro, the Cubs' 21-year-old shortstop, of sexually assaulting her last fall. Chicago police now want to question Castro. Castro's lawyers say that the charges are "baseless," while the Cubs say they've only received "limited information." [WBBM News Radio]...

Some Dude Got Arrested For Breaking Into Wrigley Field And Ripping Ivy Off The Walls
Michael Vite, 24, allegedly entered the ballpark through a construction area around 7:30 a.m. on New Year's Day. Police say he "ran onto the field and pulled some ivy off the outfield wall." Which is pretty lame compared to this. [CBS Chicago; h/t to Disco Choo]...

Brian Urlacher's Injury Horrified His Teammates, Brought Them To Prayer
Bears All-Pro linebacker Brian Urlacher opened the new year with an MCL sprain, though his reaction was so terrifying teammates fell to their knees in prayer. From DeKalb's Daily Chronicle:...

Former Bears WR Willie Gault Is Being Accused Of Securities Fraud
A member of the '85 Super Bowl shufflers, Gault is one of six people allegedly connected with a scheme to falsely inflate the stock price of a company that makes heart-monitoring equipment. Smooth as a chocolate swirl. [Bloomberg]...

Albert Pujols's Wife Is "Mad At God," The Cubs Are Looking For A First Baseman, And More From The Hot Fucking Stove
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!...

Here's The Brutal Back Injury That Led To Bears WR Johnny Knox Being Carted Off The Field
There's at least one gruesome injury a week in the NFL, but they're usually of the ankle, knee, or elbow variety. This one's a bit different, and really pretty horrible to watch. ...

Marion Barber Still Refuses To Talk About That Broncos Game
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Let's play "how many different ways can Barber say 'I'm thinking about next week?'"...

Revelations From Tim Tebow's Mic'd Up Sunday
If it's true that nobody actually KNOWS Tim Tebow, it's also true that we see in him whatever we want to see. That holds for his public appearances, his interviews, and his play from a bird's eye television angle. But thanks to NFL Films's Sound FX, we can get a little closer to Tim Tebow, actual ...

Sam Hurd Was A "Top Drug Dealer" In City And Dealt To Fellow Players, Reports Chicago Radio Station
We figured that the case against Sam Hurd, who was arrested yesterday after allegedly attempting to purchase a large amount of cocaine from a federal agent, could get a whole lot messier as the details unfolded, but we didn't expect this: Chicago's 670 The Score reports that the police actually have...

Please Kaner, Don't Hurt 'Em
When we received a reminder from the NHL about last night's NHL 36, a docu-reality show featuring Patrick Kane, the nice PR person predicted that we would make fun of him. (I can't imagine why!) Before we had a chance, Kane scored a shootout clincher that makes us want to take back every joke we'v...

Bears Receiver Sam Hurd Arrested After Allegedly Trying To Purchase 5 To 10 Kilos Of Cocaine From A Federal Agent
Even though Chicago brought in Roy Williams this offseason, Bears wide receiver Sam Hurd may have been the more disappointing former Cowboy. Hurd has only eight catches (no touchdowns) all season, and he's staring down some major federal drug charges....

The Ballad Of Dane Sanzenbacher And His Scrawny, White Friends
Pete Segall and our plucky friends at The Classical have a good story up today about Dane Sanzenbacher and the receiver's burden after one dropped pass in November: "It cannot be easy for Dane Sanzenbacher, and it's easy to imagine the hard thrumming pressure on him, the sensation of letting down th...