chicago Page 109 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Brian Scalabrine Is His Team's Second-Leading Scorer In Italy
Brian Scalabrine is one of those NBA players that we all delight in calling a "role player," even if his role was never particularly valuable. In Boston, his role was to occasionally come in to fall on a loose ball and get praised for his hustle, but mostly it was to delight all of the white kids ...

Theo Epstein's Full-Page Ad Thanks Everyone In Boston, Even Larry Lucchino
There's an unwritten rule that personnel moves aren't made during the World Series, so as to keep the focus on actual baseball. That rule was waived in Theo Epstein's case, because no one wants the Red Sox or Cubs to be in the news longer than absolutely necessary. So Theo's gone to Chicago (even if...

Arizona's Referee Streaker Faces Up To 18 Months Of Hard Time
Your morning roundup for Oct. 22, the day we realized Jack Daniel's prices are probably going to rise. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Tony La Russa Appeared On A Game Show Roughly 30 Years Ago, And Nobody Knew Who He Was
Your morning roundup for Oct. 21, the day we learned lighting poop on fire won't turn it into gold. H/T to Bryan J. for the video. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Remembering The Best Punt Return That Never Officially Happened
Bears wide receiver/returner Devin Hester—as Drew explained Monday—is the human highlight reel that opponents have to kick to. He gave us a splendid return on Sunday night. But perhaps his best play of the season came on a play when he never touched the ball, on a play that never happened, as far ...

Devin Hester Was "Basically Attacked" With A Sucker Slap At A Casino Last Week
You know who would probably be a bad person to slap in the back of the head in public? An NFL player. Specifically, an NFL player who is considered one of the fastest men in the sport and who can probably chase you down even if you're speeding away in a Rascal....

Jay Cutler Has A Message For Mike Martz: "Fuck Him!"
The Bears' quarterback apparently wasn't too happy with something involving Martz, the team's offensive coordinator, at some point during last night's game. At least that's what the "Tell Mike..." part of what Cutler can be heard shouting near the end of this clip seems to indicate. I'm presenting...

Ozzie Guillen Will Appear On <em>Baseball Tonight</em> Throughout The World Series
It dawns on me that we could play a game with two tentpoles of recent Chicago White Sox squads. We'll call the game "Guillen OR Pierzynski." Said the White Sox drink rally beer during games to get themselves going? (Pierzynski.) Went on a profane tirade after the White Sox lost to Bruce fucking Chen...

Tingling Sensations: From The Stands At Ford Field, Watching My Former NFL Teammate Get Knocked Out Of A Game
DETROIT—I'm here to see my friend Tony Scheffler play. He's a tight end for the Lions and my last, best connection to a modern NFL that churns through players too quickly to catch. This is my third season out of the league; sometimes, it feels like no one I played with is still playing. But of the f...

Not To Be Outdone, A.J. Pierzynski Would Like You To Know That The White Sox Occasionally Drink "Rally Beer" During Games
White Sox catcher A.J. Pierzynski, everyone's favorite bleached-blond gnat (and World Series broadcaster), apparently wanted to stick up for the Red Sox players, bullied by the owners and the Boston Globe. So he went on The Dan Patrick Show and told everyone the White Sox occasionally drink in the c...

Theo Epstein Reportedly On The Verge Of Leaving Boston To Rescue The Cubs
"Two baseball sources have confirmed that Theo Epstein is on the cusp of leaving his job as general manager of the Red Sox to accept a position with the Chicago Cubs that is believed to include powers greater than he has in Boston, with an announcement expected to be made 'within the next 24 to 48 h...

The White Sox Could Have Had A Player-Manager. Damn, So Close.
Robin Ventura was formally introduced as the new White Sox manager today, a move that few people saw coming. But in a move that even fewer people saw not-coming, which they shouldn't have because it didn't happen, the ChiSox braintrust "considered" naming Paul Konerko a player-manager, the first in ...

Lions And Zebras And Bears—Oh Crap
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

The Shittiest Seven Minutes Of The NFL Season, Condensed To One Shitty Minute
This is the Bears' second drive of the game, reduced to just the play stoppages. The drive lasted seven minutes and featured seven penalty calls in all and ended with Matt Forte getting stuffed on a fourth-and-1 at Detroit's 26. It was horrible. Relive it here....

Semi-Sentient Mammals Of The NFC North: Your <i>Monday Night Football</i> Open Thread
Cutler! Stafford! Suh! Urlacher! And a cast of 102 other players, many of them memorable in their own right. It's Bears/Lions on ESPN, with Detroit trying to keep pace with Green Bay, and Chicago merely trying to stay above water....

A Woman Who Was Nearly 39 Weeks Pregnant Finished The Chicago Marathon Yesterday And Promptly Gave Birth
Amber Miller's doctor had given her permission to run the first half of the race. She walked the rest of the way. "Everybody just kind of stared as I'm running by," she said. Can't imagine why. [WGN]...

"I Ain't No Damned Monkey On A String": The Sadness Of Sweetness After Super Bowl XX
Today the 1985 Chicago Bears were finally honored at the White House—25 years after their 46-10 romp over the New England Patriots in Super Bowl XX. (The original trip was canceled because of the Challenger explosion.) That Super Bowl was memorable for many reasons—the headbands of Jim McMahon, the ...

25 Years And Four Presidents Later, The 1985 Bears Will Finally Visit The White House
The '85 Chicago Bears are one of the most iconic championship teams in NFL history. Payton. The Fridge. Ditka. McMahon. Buddy Ryan and his 46 defense. That rap song. A 15-1 record in a season that ended with playoff shutouts of the Giants and Rams followed by a 46-10 drubbing of the Patriots in Sup...

This Evening: Could Theo Epstein Be Jamming With The Cubs Next Season?
Your p.m. roundup for Oct. 4, the day we saw the worst ad campaign ever. The report on Epstein being granted permission to speak with the Cubs is here. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

A.J. Pierzynski Will Be Irritating You On World Series Broadcasts This Year
Fox Sports announced today, per USA Today, that once-blond nuisance (and current White Sox starting catcher) AJ Pierzynski would join Eric Karros' pompadour and the formerly frosted, still gelled tips of Chris Rose on Fox's World Series pregame and postgame coverage. Yuck. (We presume Jeanne Zelasko...