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Tony Romo and Jay Cutler are Winners, Philip Rivers Stinks: Your Sunday NFL Roundup
What a weird day. Rex Grossman showed incredible touch and accuracy. Tony Romo made big plays when the Cowboys needed them. Sidney Rice was a more effective passer than Tarvaris Jackson. OK, so maybe that's not so weird. Anyway, here's your Sunday roundup. Enjoy....
The Lions Had An Awful Lot Of Excuses About The Wind Yesterday
You could chalk the Lions' embarrassing loss to Chicago up to many things. Turnovers, an inability to get the run game going, Matthew Stafford...but no matter how many things don't go your way, it remains all-but-impossible for an NFL team to win when the wind itself is a Bears fan. Here, some selec...
Joe Paterno's Name Has Been Removed From The Big Ten Trophy That Has Not Yet Been Awarded
Retired life is not going any better for toppled morally complicit geezer Joe Paterno. Now his name has been removed from an essentially hypothetical trophy....
A Brawl Broke Out In Chicago
If you were watching the game, you saw this coming somewhere around the end of the first quarter, but the bitterness between the Bears and Lions finally came to a boil when a frustrated Matthew Stafford threw Bears defensive back D.J. Moore to the ground after tossing yet another interception, the...
Teams Should Probably Stop Punting To Devin Hester
The Detroit Lions brought in a new punter this week and apparently no one gave him the memo that Devin Hester is really good at returning punts. Robert Malone made the mistake of kicking it in Hester's vicinity and, well, you can see what happens from there....
Jay Cutler's On-And-Off Ladyfriend, Kristin Cavallari, Says He Has The Best Butt In Football
@KristinCav wishes @JayCutler6, and his butt, luck tonight against Juan Castillo and his occasionally ferocious wide nine defense: "To the man with the best butt in football, good luck tonight @jaycutler6 ill be watching." Suave Cutler replies, "thanks babe."...
Michael Jordan The Player Would've Hated Michael Jordan The Hardline Owner
Over at SB Nation, Tom Ziller has compiled some of Michael Jordan's contradictory views on the NBA lockout. In a meeting during the '98 lockout, for example, Jordan the player told Wizards owner Abe Pollin, "If you can't make it work economically, you should sell the team." Ziller points out that in...
3,000 Cards Fans Will Now Claim The Autographed Hat A Cubs Fan Found On The Highway
Did you lose a 2011 World Series championship cap autographed by Cardinals players somewhere on I-74 in central Illinois recently? Of course you did. A Cubs fan found it, and now he wants to return it to its rightful owner—you: "He says whoever comes forward will have to know about an unexpected sig...
NBPA Economist Kevin Murphy Provides Some Intellectual Capital On The Lockout
NBA.com has published an interview with Kevin Murphy, the noted genius and economist who's been working with the Players' Assocation since June. This is the first time the University of Chicago professor has talked publicly since the lockout began. Go read it to gain some bonafide intellectual capit...
Patrick Kane Pulled Off A Perfect Spin-O-Rama Assist Last Night
The Hawks beat the Ducks 3-2 in a shutout in Chicago last night, and Patrick Kane, our favorite Buffalo boozehound, provided the prettiest play of the game. This assist to Marian Hossa tied it up in the second period. Kane later told reporters that he'd discussed the move with Hawks great Denis Sa...
Brian Scalabrine Is His Team's Second-Leading Scorer In Italy
Brian Scalabrine is one of those NBA players that we all delight in calling a "role player," even if his role was never particularly valuable. In Boston, his role was to occasionally come in to fall on a loose ball and get praised for his hustle, but mostly it was to delight all of the white kids ...
Theo Epstein's Full-Page Ad Thanks Everyone In Boston, Even Larry Lucchino
There's an unwritten rule that personnel moves aren't made during the World Series, so as to keep the focus on actual baseball. That rule was waived in Theo Epstein's case, because no one wants the Red Sox or Cubs to be in the news longer than absolutely necessary. So Theo's gone to Chicago (even if...
Arizona's Referee Streaker Faces Up To 18 Months Of Hard Time
Your morning roundup for Oct. 22, the day we realized Jack Daniel's prices are probably going to rise. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Tony La Russa Appeared On A Game Show Roughly 30 Years Ago, And Nobody Knew Who He Was
Your morning roundup for Oct. 21, the day we learned lighting poop on fire won't turn it into gold. H/T to Bryan J. for the video. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Remembering The Best Punt Return That Never Officially Happened
Bears wide receiver/returner Devin Hester—as Drew explained Monday—is the human highlight reel that opponents have to kick to. He gave us a splendid return on Sunday night. But perhaps his best play of the season came on a play when he never touched the ball, on a play that never happened, as far ...
Devin Hester Was "Basically Attacked" With A Sucker Slap At A Casino Last Week
You know who would probably be a bad person to slap in the back of the head in public? An NFL player. Specifically, an NFL player who is considered one of the fastest men in the sport and who can probably chase you down even if you're speeding away in a Rascal....
Jay Cutler Has A Message For Mike Martz: "Fuck Him!"
The Bears' quarterback apparently wasn't too happy with something involving Martz, the team's offensive coordinator, at some point during last night's game. At least that's what the "Tell Mike..." part of what Cutler can be heard shouting near the end of this clip seems to indicate. I'm presenting...
Ozzie Guillen Will Appear On <em>Baseball Tonight</em> Throughout The World Series
It dawns on me that we could play a game with two tentpoles of recent Chicago White Sox squads. We'll call the game "Guillen OR Pierzynski." Said the White Sox drink rally beer during games to get themselves going? (Pierzynski.) Went on a profane tirade after the White Sox lost to Bruce fucking Chen...
Tingling Sensations: From The Stands At Ford Field, Watching My Former NFL Teammate Get Knocked Out Of A Game
DETROIT—I'm here to see my friend Tony Scheffler play. He's a tight end for the Lions and my last, best connection to a modern NFL that churns through players too quickly to catch. This is my third season out of the league; sometimes, it feels like no one I played with is still playing. But of the f...
Not To Be Outdone, A.J. Pierzynski Would Like You To Know That The White Sox Occasionally Drink "Rally Beer" During Games
White Sox catcher A.J. Pierzynski, everyone's favorite bleached-blond gnat (and World Series broadcaster), apparently wanted to stick up for the Red Sox players, bullied by the owners and the Boston Globe. So he went on The Dan Patrick Show and told everyone the White Sox occasionally drink in the c...