chicago Page 112 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Today In Great Ledes
"Sports historians will look back on what happened at ESPN's ESPY awards the other night and pinpoint it as the broadcast that signaled the rise of soccer and the death of football." [Chicago Tribune]...

Cubs And Marlins Do Their Best To Out-Lowlight One Another
The Cubs blew a 3 2-0 lead against the Marlins last night in a ninth inning that saw Chicago closer Carlos Marmol booed off the mound by the friendly hometown crowd. The hurt started with this Greg Dobbs hit to right field, which — despite Dewayne Wise's unprovoked face-plant as he headed toward h...

Here's John Sterling and Clyde Frazier Calling A 1989 Hawks-Bulls Game
Walt "Clyde" Frazier and John Sterling, for better or worse, respectively, are two of New York's most recognizable sportscasters. Sterling has called literally every Yankees game in my lifetime, and Frazier has been on Knicks games even longer. Putting these men in a booth together in 2011 would b...

Watch A Hockey Referee Materialize Out Of Thin Air
This is from the 2009 Western Conference finals, and we have no idea why it just showed up on YouTube yesterday. But watch at the 0:07 mark, when linesman Brad Lazarowich enters the picture, seemingly out of nowhere. We've watched this about a billion times, and we think we've figured it out: it's...

18-Year-Old Michael Jordan's Gibberishy, Cocky Love Letter To A Comely Lass Named Laquette
If only we had the grace and verve of Michael Jordan, we've often lamented, we could have been great basketball players. But that powerful desire never extended to love notes, when, clearly, it should have....

Troy Tulowitzki Scores From First On A Bloop Single, Miguel Tejada Nearly Gets Thrown Out At Home On A HR
I guess what we're saying is that Tulo always hustles, while Tejada is looking to top the Tater Tot Tracker charts....

Watch The Marlins Catcher Successfully Throw The Ball At Shane Victorino's Head
Your morning roundup for June 18, the day "propaganda vans touted the importance of stability" in the Jeans Capital of China. (Video H/T, Jimmy Greek)...

NFL Is Surprisingly Uncool With Its Players Appearing In Uniform Advertising "Pornstar Exxxtravaganza"
To be fair, those five players are Brandon Flowers, Eric Berry, Kareem Jackson, Jacoby Ford, and Major Wright, and we're willing to bet most potential patrons of the Pornstar Exxxtravaganza wouldn't have identified them all. They needed their uniforms....

Watch Man U's Gary Neville Throw A Truly Terrible First Pitch At A White Sox Game
Gary Neville, who played right back for England and Manchester United for perhaps forever, before retiring this year, was in Chicago on Thursday night to throw out the first pitch before the White Sox-A's game. Man U and the Chicago Fire will be playing a friendly shortly. He and his 400 caps are ...

Please Take Ozzie Guillen's Belt And Razor Away From Him
You might as well take his BlackBerry too. Because the White Sox's eccentric manager is having some kind of existential meltdown today and figured he should share....

Patrick Kane Does Something Really Nice
PK showed up at a 10-year-old fan's floor hockey birthday, because he's an all-around decent guy. See Patrick? We love you! Please come back to us, Patrick. [Chicago Tribune]...

Ronnie Woo Woo Gives Up On The Cubs, Wants Paul McCartney Tickets Instead
Our tipster Steven works for a ticket company out of Chicago, and wrote in to tell us that he'd had beloved Cubs fan Ronnie "Woo Woo" Wickers in the office today. He even attached a photo: "Woo_Woo_Office_Visit.jpg." Ronnie was wearing his Cubs uniform, which is no surprise; what is is that one of t...

Cubs Have Upside Down Logo At Wrigley, Possibly As Some Sort Of Distress Signal
This oopsie is apparently located on the wall of a tunnel near the Cubs clubhouse. Has it been like this for the last 95 years and no one's noticed? Possibly. ...

Watch Wrigley Field Get Buzzed By An Unexpected F/A-18 Flyover
Well, okay, Cubs fans, you can either find some meaning in seeing fighter jets on a holiday remembering American soldiers, or you can be scared that Chicago somehow became the setting of a Will Smith movie come to life. Your choice....

Ozzie Guillen Just Might Have Lost It
Because when you're waxing lyrical about desecrated statutes of a team that started not only A.J. Pierzynski but Scott Podsednik and Carl Everett, you might just be off your rocker....

Being Captain Of The Saint John Sea Dogs Does Not Entitle You To Spit In Memorial Cup, But Watch This Guy Do It Anyway (UPDATE: ?)
Your morning roundup for May 30, Memorial Day, the day we learned the Groupon Voice. Video via tipster Brent, who writes (with a French BlackBerry signature appended!), "Watch beardo spit into the Memorial Cup. His teammates will be drinking out of it. Fucking gross."...

The Heat Wax The East, And Deep Down We Love It
Last night, the Miami Heat ended the Eastern Conference Finals with a 19-4 run in under four minutes to beat the Chicago Bulls in five games. If you were fortunate or unfortunate enough — I haven't decided which it is for me — to have watched the entire game, then you would have witnessed equal part...

Joakim Noah Taps Into America's Rage By Calling The Heat "Hollywood As Hell"
Joakim Noah, who sat on the bench for much of the second half as Kurt Thomas tried to be the hero, pulled off the delicate skill of framing an absolute dis within a compliment last night. Kenny, Chuck, and Ernie are almost always this tickled with the world, but with this giggly reaction I get the...

Your Bulls/Heat Game Five Open Thread
If there's an element of Chicago Bulls fandom that thinks tonight could be the season's end, Mare Bear is not among them. And who knows, maybe she's right. Because if the LeBrons have shown the world one thing this offseason, it's that they're a .500 team on the road....

Your Bulls/Heat Game Four Open Thread
Tom Thibodeau is coaching about as well in this series as Craig Sager is dressing. So much Bogans. So much Korver. So little stopping of LeBron, Wade, and even Bosh. Accordingly, the Bulls lost two consecutive games for the first time since February....