chicago Page 114 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

MLB Actually Has A Rule About Using Twitter After Being Ejected
Ozzie Guillen was fined and suspended two games for a sort-of-off-the-field incident Wednesday. Soon after being ejected arguing balls and strikes in the first inning, Guillen fired off two Tweets: "This one is going to cost me a lot of money this is patetic." and: "Today a tough guy show up at yank...

The Bears Forgot To Report Their Draft-Day Trade, So It Never Went Through
Not a huge fuckup, as far as draft-day fuckups go, not like a Christian Ponder-level fuckup, but a fuckup nonetheless. When time ran out on Baltimore's 26th round pick, and the Chiefs leapfrogged them in the order, everyone assumed it was the Ravens that dropped the ball. But no, it was Jerry Angelo...

"People Are Going To Start Punching Babies": Among The Almost-Thugs In Vancouver
VANCOUVER, British Columbia — Watching Canucks fans raise hell last night in downtown Vancouver reminded me of the guys who get paternity-tested on Maury, learn they're not the father and launch into the Ickey Shuffle. Some people are so beat-down that mere relief tastes like a miracle. The Canucks ...

The Chicago-Indiana Five-Game Shoving Match Is Finally Over
The Pacers-Bulls series, now mercifully complete after Chicago did what they should have done all along and put together a 27-point victory last night, regressed into a shoving, name-calling match with one ejection and two technical fouls in Game 5. After the game, Danny Granger called out Joakim ...

Patrick Kane Needs A Drink
Your morning roundup for April 27, the day we let the idiots drive the national agenda....

Jeff Foster And The Brutal Art Of The NBA's Playoff Foul
Indiana's veteran forward Jeff Foster told the Indianapolis Star this week that he knows he'll be considered the "villain" after a series of hard fouls against the Bulls in the first round. The video above gives an idea of what he's talking about; he's yoked Derrick Rose a couple times, in Games 1...

Arcade Fire Performs At Cubs Game; Fans Politely Pretend To Know Who They Are
In an epic collision of hipster idolatry and baseball, two members of the Montreal-based indie band Arcade Fire led "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" during the seventh inning stretch at Wrigley Field this weekend....

Marriage License: Chris Bosh Is Officially Spoken For. Chris Bosh: No I'm Not.
Your morning roundup for April 24, a day Gabrielle Giffords continues struggling to recover, but recovering she is....

Star Of <i>Fred Claus</i> Points And Laughs At Four-Time NHL All-Star
Your morning roundup for April 20, the day we started buying all of our heroin on Craigslist....

Jon Barry Can't Stop Giggling At Derrick Rose
Dan Shulman and Jon Barry tried their damndest to properly announce the Bulls-Pacers game on Saturday, but Derrick Rose made it a difficult task. We can't really blame them. Rose had 39 points in Chicago's 104-99 win, and his baskets were, throughout, brilliant. Brilliant enough to make Barry gigg...

Old Lady Bulls Fan Has Some Unkind Words For Chicago's Eastern Conference Rivals
Every team's got to have a superfan. Some are more adorably crazy than others. Meet Mary Ann, best known to her family and section 317 as Mare Bear. She has some things to say about the Heat and the Celtics....

Here's Video Of A Pro Golfer Needing 16 Shots To Conquer A Par-4 Hole
Your morning roundup for April 15, the day after Walter Breuning died of natural causes. He was 114 years and 205 days old....

One Reason Sir Charles Doesn't Like Reporters Is Because They're Idiots
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Chuck wants a vacation in Chicago, so Chuck wants the Bulls to win....

Dueling Mullets Welcome You To Day One Of The NHL Playoffs
Your morning roundup for April 13, the day Justin Bieber reminded us that the Middle East is still fucked up....

NHL Playoff Blood Flows Red On The Regular-Season Rink
Thanks to tipster Noah D. for sending in this shot of Johan Franzen of the Detroit Red Wings after he'd been face-cut by Blackhawk Duncan Keith's stick in today's regular-season finale....

Even The Top Seed In The Playoffs Isn't Good Enough For This Expressive Bulls Fan
Your morning roundup for April 9, the day it became painfully evident that knowledge gleaned from the Old Testament and YouTube videos do not a professional at-home circumcisionist make....

Derrick Rose Floats One Off The Glass, And The Bulls Take The East
Last night, the Chicago Bulls defeated the Celtics by 16 points, 97-81. In doing so, they effectively clinched the top seed in the Eastern Conference for the first time since the 1997-98 season — Chicago would have to lose the remainder of its games and the HeatCeltics would have to win the rest o...

Mystery Solved: Courtside Guy At Bulls Games Is Matt Pritzker, And He Is Very, Very Rich
I-Team, you may stand down. So many of you have written in to solve today's mystery about the young fellow who sits courtside at Chicago Bulls games....

I-Team, Do You Know Who This Perpetually Courtside Bulls Fan Is?
Busy day for you guys, we recognize. But tipster Tom has written in with a pressing question:...

College Kid Who Cried "Coach Attacked Me" Apparently Decided To Steal Two Beers From The Phillies
Your morning roundup for April 8, the day the Associated Press union decided to stick it to The Man, with whom it's negotiating a new contract, by not promoting stories on Facebook and Twitter next week. Consequences will never be the same....