chicago Page 115 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
![Most 1990s Sale Ever: Scottie Pippen Some Lady Auctioning Off Beanie Baby Bins [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18j52e9bfos20jpg.jpg)
Most 1990s Sale Ever: Scottie Pippen Some Lady Auctioning Off Beanie Baby Bins [UPDATE]
Pop your En Vogue tape in the Aiwa, kids, and head on over to Scottie Pippen's estate sale in Highland Park, where you can buy (seriously) some Rubbermaid receptacles full of literally priceless worthless keepsakes....

Costumed Man Gets Publicly Shamed For Messing With Canadian Dance Team
Your morning roundup for March 13, the day Villanova probably gets the tournament bid it in no way deserves....

One Sentence Tells You All You Need To Know About The Miami Heat's State Of Mind
Per Chicago Breaking Sports, "The Bulls swept the season series from the Heat Sunday afternoon with a dramatic 87-86 victory. Joakim Noah switched onto LeBron James and forced a miss, which the Heat rebounded. Dwyane Wade's baseline jumper at the buzzer was short and Keith Bogans rebounded."...

Derrick Rose Will Miss A Three-Pointer Just So He Can Dunk On Your Head
The Bulls blew a 19-point lead and committed 17 turnovers in an 83-80 loss in Atlanta last night. Derrick Rose didn't shoot particularly well — he was 5-for-21 from the field and had 12 points and 12 assists — but he did make up for it when he missed....

It Must Be March If The Cubs Are Fighting Each Other In The Dugout
After giving up a six-run inning courtesy of a handful of errors, Carlos Silva returned to the dugout and got into a fight. It was broken up, he was removed from the game, and kept away from reporters afterward because he was "not in the right frame of mind to talk." Cubs Spring Training, people! [C...

Here's Derrick Rose Going Between The Legs To Joakim Noah
This is one of Rose's nine assists in Chicago's 105-77 drubbing of the Wizards last night. It's also, you'll notice, a one-year Calipari point guard schooling a younger one-year Calipari point guard, John Wall, in the NBA fast break. Rose finished with 21 and 9; Wall had 9 and 10....

Wrigley Field Is Looking For A New PA Announcer, Inquire Within
Have you ever wanted to announce the lineup of a historically mediocre baseball team? Stepping up to the plate, your catcher, number 55, KOYIE HILL!...

Cubs Using Jeter, Pujols To Sell Tickets
We get the Pujols one; division rival, comes to Wrigley 10 times a year. But it's somewhat telling that the giant billboard, with room for the two biggest reasons to buy Cubs tickets, chooses Starlin Castro and Derek Jeter (in town for a lone interleague series)....

"You Have To Accept My Pain": An Interview With Dave Duerson Three Months Before His Suicide
On Nov. 27, I spent an hour on the phone with former Pro Bowl defensive back Dave Duerson. It had been seven years since his mother's death and 364 days since his father's burial, and the following day he would celebrate his 50th birthday. Less than three months later, he sent some text messages to ...

OK, Who Pooped In Dusty Baker's Dugout Spot?
Jon Paul Morosi has a nice little profile of Cubs manager Mike Quade, but he buries the lede. Namely, that in Dusty Baker's last season in Chicago, someone left a going-away present for him....

Child Blackhawk Reporter Has The World By Its Balls
Hiring cute children as on-air talent is no longer a meme. It's an affliction. The innocently invasive questions. The gnat-like attention spans. We should be sick of it. But, hell, this little feller the Chicago Blackhawks have working the locker room is still fairly adorable as he talks to player...

Did Patrick Kane Have A Two-Day Hangover? (UPDATE)
Patrick Kane missed Blackhawks practice Monday and Tuesday with "flulike symptoms." The team wouldn't elaborate, but flulike symptoms might consist of nausea, vomiting, chills, aches, weakness, diarrhea. What else could cause those? Maybe, just maybe, throwing down at a Chicago bar on Sunday....

Rick Telander: If We Don't Stop Getting Concussed, The Robots Will Win (Or Something Like That)
We do not know what is going on in Rick Telander's head, but he wrote a column about brains and computers yesterday that is so full of raving, delusional paranoia about some impending tyranny that he might as well be on mushrooms or in the Tea Party....

This Is What Happens When You Get Caught Stealing Someone's Shovel During A Blizzard (Video)
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day. ...

A Lot Of Time Went Into Crafting This Snow Dong
Snow artist Machinski calls this piece "Fun With Snow." The setting is Chicago, after the winter storm. The car belongs to a "friend." And while the base bend looks awkward, pure craftsmanship went into manipulating the glans....

Wrigley Field Roof Damaged By Tonight's Blizzard
There's a blizzard in Chicago. Winds gusting up to 60. The headline on Mike Hamernik's Chicago Weather Center blog is, "Blizzard continues to rage, drifts may reach 6 to 8 feet later tonight."...

Bill Murray To Packer Fan At Soldier Field Last Sunday: "Nitschke is a pussy."
From Black Book comes another odd, charming Bill Murray run-in that may or may not be true, given how many Bill Murray run-in stories are out there. But this one seems plausible....

Jay Cutler Is Able To Windowshop In LA Without A Cane Because He's A Quitter
Just look at him, all vesty and smug. HOW DARE HE not limp in public. He's no gladiator. His heart is weak. WEAK, I tell you, like a kitten's wrist. I'm spitting at the monitor as I write this.[TMZ]...

Jay Cutler Took The Stairs Sunday Night
At least according to a gossip column, which had Cutler and his pseudocelebrity girlfriend going out for steak after the NFC Championship game. That's some expert-level shit-stirring right there, questionable eyewitnesses. [Chicago Tribune]...

Caleb Hanie Also Quit — On His Mustache
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the third-string hero might've earned himself a promotion to backup....