chicago Page 133 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Why Your Team Won't Make The Playoffs: National League
East. • 1. New York Mets. Record: 81-63. Magic number: 16. Why they're doomed: Bullpen woes; chiefly Billy Wagner, who is currently planning a comeback in time to play in the 2012 Olympics. Upcoming: They don't play the Phillies again. So there's that. Ray of hope: Carlos Delgado has four multihomer...
Those Pesky Mariotti-To-Tribune Rumors Will Not Dissipate
Rumors continue to flutter over Chicago this afternoon concerning sensitive Around the Horn talking head Jay Mariotti and his possible move to the Chicago Tribune. A couple of sources close to the situation have emailed me and said that the Trib's editorial staff are taking the rumors seriously, and...
Sunday Night Football: Bears-Colts
It's the second to last game of the first week of the season, of which there will be only two more this decade. It all takes place in venerable Lucas Oil Stadium. How effective will the Bears passing game be? Will we find out what a bursa sac is? How would John Madden solve the dispute between Russi...
NFL Season Preview: Chicago Bears
The NFL season has officially started, so it's time to finish the impassioned season previews from various writers, bloggers, diehard fans, cooks, TV personalities, and numerous other walks of life whom consider football the only sport worth watching. Clearly, these previews will be running until, o...
Kyle Orton Solemnly Vows To Never Be Drunk On Camera Again
That's his promise. In his new role as the Bears starting quarterback, Orton has sworn that he's all business and that his hard-partying days of internet lore are long behind him. He's a new man — a married man — who won't give his teammates a reason to question his leadership abilities this time ar...
No Way Will The Cubs Blow It This Time ... Uh Oh
Time to worry: When your team has lost four straight at home during the stretch run of the division race. Time to really worry: When your manager says "If he can pitch, he'll pitch. If he can't, we'll put Sean Marshall in the rotation." Those words of wisdom were spoken by Lou Piniella, after Carlos...
Mitch "Wild Thing" Williams Ringing The NASDAQ Opening Bell Tomorrow
This is the most incongruous pairing of sports and the financial markets since Lenny Dykstra first emailed Jim Cramer. How did this happen? What in the world has the Wild Thing been up to since his baseball career ended? He started his own Wild Thing Southpaw Salsa. Well, of course he did. Mitch Wi...
Ozzie Guillen Bids Farewell To His Personal Lord Voldemort
Reaction to Jay Mariotti's resignation from the Chicago Sun-Times continues to pour in — there hasn't been this much freewheeling glee since the announcement of the end of World War II — and of course Ozzie Guillen is leading the hurrahs. While admitting that his own tenure in Chicago most assuredly...
The Internet Cautions Mr. Mariotti Not To Let The Door Hit Him In The Butt On The Way Out
So Jay Mariotti resigned from the Chicago Sun-Times on Tuesday night, prompting a flurry of reaction around the webtubes, a sampling of which we show you here. Most of it's anti-Jay, as you might guess; even this guy refuses to defend him. Mariotti; the only man Lassie ever refused to save from a we...
Jay Mariotti: Quits Chicago Sun-Times Before Struggling Newspaper Business "Takes Him Down With It"
Wow. Based on the enormous amount of emails flooding Deadspin's inbox, you would've thought that there was an assassination of a beloved sports figure or a towering inferno at Yankee Stadium. Nope. The reason for the deluge was because Jay Mariotti, after 17 years of vituperative hackdom, has decide...
Cubs Or White Sox? Obama Invites North Side Scorn
As you saw in our morning video pancake breakfast, ESPN's Stuart Scott figured that the best way to get to know Barack Obama was to play him in a game of one-on-one (hard foul, Obama takes an elbow to the head! Now they're brawling! ...). Scott then sat down with the Democratic Presidential nominee ...
The Strange Saga Of A.J. Pierzynski And Doug Eddings Continues
Is this the episode where Doug Eddings reveals that he is A.J. Pierzynski's father? Something's going on; and the Rays aren't happy about it. Take a look at this play in the 10th, where it appears that Pierzynski is tagged out in a rundown between second and third. But second base umpire Eddings rul...
Take Us Home, Oh Mudda Fadda; Take Us Home from Beijing
So, yeah. This is it. Tonight's the last night of co-ed Rings summer camp and tomorrow our parents will be here to pick us up and take us home and we'll spend all our time with our old steady sports and we'll promise to write about swimming and gymnastics and equestrian events but we never will, so ...
Lawsuit Alleges Priest Molested Boy at 2005 White Sox Game
The lawsuit was filed against the Chicago Archdiocese yesterday. The alleged molester, priest Daniel McCormick, has already been the subject of a lawsuit settled on behalf of the archdiocese last week. In that case 11 priests were sued by 16 children. The alleged molestation occured in August of 20...
New White Sox Danger: Shaving Cream Pies to the Face
And you thought Ozzie Guillen was all the White Sox had to fear in the locker room. Backup catcher Toby Hall is recovering after Jermaine Dye blocked his attempted pie to the face. Does anyone ever wonder where all these pies come from in baseball locker rooms? How many times have you had extra pie...
The Prodigal, Bloodshot, Neckbearded, Booze-Swilling Son Returns
In the past hour there have been no less than three emails with "The Neckbeard Returns!" as the subject line. This is either a bold move or an absolutely desperate one, but it's true: Kyle Orton is the starting quarterback for the 2008 Chicago Bears' season opener. Orton overcame Rex Grossman in the...
Daryle Ward Will Eat Your Children In Broad Daylight
The Chicago Cubs have just won their ninth straight game. In related news, Hell has frozen over, pigs are flying, gas is now 75 cents a gallon, and Andy Dick just had sex with a girl. This wild chain reaction began when Ward, in the midst of an 0-for-13 slump, hit a three-run homer in the ninth to p...
Let Leo Pitch! Cubs Tempt Fate By Dissing Their Oldest Fan
Leo Hildebrand wants to throw out the first pitch at a Chicago Cubs game. And since the 104-year-old is one of the few living things old enough to have actually seen the Cubs win a World Series (the bristlecone pine and certain species of desert tortoise are the others), one would think that the tea...
Did The White Sox Just Win The Central?
So the White Sox lost Jose Contreras for the season on Saturday in a loss to Boston, falling out of first in the Central. That made Sunday's contest somewhat more than your run-of-the-mill game. And Chicago's 6-5, come-from-behind win over the Red Sox just may have put them back into first place for...
Contreras Injury a Blow To Chicago
It was the Sox Bowl Part II as the Red ones took on the White ones. And you know what happens when you put Red Sox in the mix with White Sox (besides all your shit turning pink). You get some pretty good baseball. Big Papi busted his slump with a three-rub double off the wall in Boston's 6-2 win ove...