chicago Page 136 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Cedric Benson Runs Past More Red Lights Than Defenders
Cedric Benson, a month removed from a Sun Chips-fueled boozy boating excursion with mom gone awry, was charged with drunk driving this morning in Texas. This will surely help to build sympathy for him against what he says were trumped up charges issued during the May 3 incident....
Kuroda Is The New Rikishi
This lissome fellow is Mongolian sumo wrestler Hakuho, who looks to be contemplating where to start peeling the foil off the hardball to get to the chocolately goodness within. I've tried Hakuho, it's pretty low-grade stuff. He was one of a group of sumo on hand to watch the Dodgers Hiroki Kuroda d...
Cubs Sail Blindly Into Uncharted Waters
So Chicagoans awoke this morning, poked themselves with sharp objects and discovered that, no, they weren't dreaming. As the sun came up on the month of June, Cubs fans found themselves with the best record in baseball; the first time that has happened so late in the season since Heinie Zimmerman a...
Jim Edmonds Is Useful!
Well, at least for a day. The recent Padres castoff, coming in batting an Andruw Jones-esque .167, went 3-for-4 with a homer as the Cubs charged back from an 8-0 deficit to overcome the Rockies 10-9. The Cubbies went deep four times, including back-to-backage from Fukudome and Edmonds, to stay a gam...
Ice Hockey At Wrigley Field: The End Times Are Here
If you think it would be fun to see Chicago fans reach onto the field of play and try to interfere with a puck instead of a baseball for a change, then you're in luck. The NHL's second Outdoor Winter Classic game will pit the Chicago Blackhawks against the Detroit Red Wings at Wrigley Field, accordi...
Welcoming The Pill In A Leathery Embrace ... No!
Slate's Robert Weintraub, like many of us, loves the old purple prose of early 1900s sportswriting, the Grantland Rices, the men who painted epic tales of warriors, grizzled combatants and lardywarks too manly to wear gloves. In an occasional series, Weintraub writes about the week's best baseball g...
We Must All Protect Alfonso Soriano's Feelings
You know the Cubs are competitors this year because their fans are getting ornery. And the target of their orneriness has been Alfonso Soriano, who plays left field as if he's crossing ice with eels as slippers. But the Cubs organization has had just about enough of fans' darned negativity....
Former Major Leaguer Killed By Lightning, As We Are Left To Ponder, WTF?
As we open the file of stuff you never in a million years thought would happen: Former major leaguer Geremi Gonzalez was killed by lightning on Sunday while riding a personal watercraft on a lake in his native Venezuela. You may recall that Gonzalez won 11 games for the Cubs as a rookie in 1997, but...
Tiny Man Celebrates Bulls' Blind Luck
The tiny man you see here — and "tiny," of course, is relative to two men standing next to him; in reality, he's probably 6-foot-9 — is Steve Schanwald, executive VP of the Chicago Bulls. He was a very happy tiny man last night; it's a good thing Chicago isn't a huge city with a potentially rabid f...
Lance Briggs Is The New Shawn Kemp
You say you like the Athletes Making Babies site? Well, then you're gonna love the tale of the smooth operator that is Bears linebacker Lance Briggs....
Man: The Edmonds Thing Is Really Happening
Augh ... man, the Cubs really did sign Jim Edmonds. Other than Pujols or Willie McGee signing with those guys, we can't imagine our brains hurting more than they do to see this. And we're sure Cubs fans don't feel any better about it. Proceed with extreme caution, Jim; Cards fans can no longer prot...
Cubs Have Second-Best Record In Baseball! (Me No Like Bizarro World)
If it weren't for those insufferable Diamondbacks, who play in the NL West and therefore should only get to count every other win, the Chicago Cubs would be our new overlords. As it is the Northsiders have a 24-16 record after their 8-5 win over the Padres on Wednesday, one game worse than Arizona's...
People Not Quite Old Enough To Remember The Last Cubs' Title
Forgive us the doubling-up on Cubs stuff today, but we just can't help ourselves: A new story in — of course — AARP Magazine chronicles the plight of old people just trying to stay alive long enough to see a Cubs World Series win. (Via wrigleyville23.) Our suggestion is to look into cryogenics....
Jim Edmonds To The Cubs? Nooooooooooo!
Through it all, through all the hamboning and declining skills, we Cardinals fans have always loved Jim Edmonds. How do you not love a guy who has tattoos of both Darryl Kile and Josh Hancock? But man, if he signs with the Cubs, as has been heavily rumored, we might have a problem....
Guys And Dolls: Floyd, White Sox Back On Top
The inflatable sex doll community was shocked on Tuesday night when Chicago's Gavin Floyd once again lost a no-hitter in the late going; giving up a double to the Twins' Joe Mauer with one out in the ninth. (Inset: "Nooooo!"). Bobby Jenks came on to get the final two outs in the White Sox's 7-1 vic...
Ten Years Since Wood's Amazing Game
We love reminders of just how old we really are. Newsweek informed us that it has been 10 years since "Seinfeld" went off the hair air, which is just jaw-dropping, when you think about it. But that's nothing like Friends Of The Program's revelation: It has been 10 years since Kerry Wood's 20-strikeo...
White Sox Locker Room Is Not A Safe Environment For Women, Real Or Inflatable
Ozzie Guillen and the White Sox are now in the midst of being criticized (again) by some sports writers and the Association For Women In Sports Media for their creative blow-up doll, slump-busting shrine. The Association said said the shrine creates an "uncomfortable" environment for female sports w...