chicago Page 29 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
White Sox Don't Sign Player
Kenny Williams, executive vice-president of the Chicago White Sox, spoke to reporters today about his team’s failed pursuit of Manny Machado, who will, per reports, sign with the San Diego Padres for $300 million or so:...
Tom Ricketts Blames His Dad's Islamophobic Emails On "The News Of The Day"
Cubs co-owner Tom Ricketts spoke to reporters today in an effort to once again distance the team from his father and fellow co-owner Joe Ricketts, whose racist email inbox was made public by Splinter earlier this month. Tom also offered a wan defense of his father, which somehow culminated in him bl...
Unavoidable Organization With Amoral Right-Wing Ownership Announces Partnership With Sinclair
The Chicago Cubs announced today that they will be launching a new regional sports network, beginning in 2020. For the new venture, called Marquee Sports Network, the Ricketts family has partnered with a real gem of a broadcasting company: Sinclair. Yeah, that Sinclair....
The NBA's Anti-Tanking Reform For Sure Hasn't Solved Sucking
The NBA recently messed with the odds in the draft lottery in order to discourage teams from tanking, but the real fruits of that move will be revealed over time, and anyway certain teams—looking at you, Phoenix—need no promise of draft lottery gold in order to just profoundly suck and lose all the ...
One Week After Declaring They Would Not Trade Otto Porter, The Wizards Trade Otto Porter For A Pile Of Trash
Almost exactly one week ago, Wizards owner Ted Leonsis mocked the very notion of his team trading any of John Wall, Bradley Beal, or Otto Porter, describing it as essentially a wacky, unworkable, and short-sighted fan theory....
Cubs Co-Owner Tom Ricketts Apologizes For All The Racist Emails In His Dad's Inbox
Yesterday, our colleagues at Splinter published a collection of insanely racist emails from the inbox of Joe Ricketts, the billionaire patriarch of the Ricketts family, which currently owns the Chicago Cubs. Found in these emails is Joe Ricketts expressing his appreciation for plainly racist jokes a...
If You're A Kicker Who Needs A Job You Should Think About Visiting Chicago
The Chicago Bears were double-doinked out of the playoffs by placekicker Cody Parkey, who then made an appearance on Today before anyone really had a chance to start feeling sorry for him. The Bears brass seemed pretty pissed about Parkey going on TV, and now he is officially on the hot seat:...
Report: Carmelo Anthony Has Been Dug Out Of The Crawl Space And Placed On The Corner
Hey, remember Carmelo Anthony? After a decidedly bad season in Oklahoma City, where he was supposed to help put the Thunder into title contention, he went to Houston with the intention of providing some shooting and keeping the Rockets in title contention. That pipe dream lasted mere weeks before he...
Sensitive Pee Baby Yadier Molina Didn't Like Kris Bryant Calling St. Louis "Boring"
The Chicago Cubs held their annual fan convention over the weekend, and one of the festivities was former Cubs pitcher Ryan Dempster hosting a mock late night show with current Cubs players as his guests. This was a chance for players to “cut loose” and “show their real personalities,” and that led...
Paul Millsap Can Still Jump, Apparently
The Bulls are taking on the Nuggets in Denver in a game that’s a lot closer than it should be. On the basis of the scoreline alone, it’s hard to tell that one team is the second-best squad in the West by record, and the other is trying hard to bring Zion Williamson onto their team. There are some in...
The Manny Machado Sweepstakes Is Kind Of A Mess
It was not all that long ago that baseball people—smart, evenhanded baseball people—were wondering if Manny Machado would become MLB’s first $400-million man. Now we’re all wondering if he’s going to make that much more than Chris Davis....
The Tryhard Chicago Bulls Went All Out And Denied Lakers Fans Free Tacos
When an NBA game drifts into the boring morass of a blowout, fans across the country begin to focus on the most American of pursuits: free shit. ...
Can Somebody Besides The White Sox Please Give Manny Machado An Offer?
MLB’s slow trudge towards the signing of top free agents Manny Machado and Bryce Harper may at last possibly be nearing a conclusion. It also may not be! But at the very least the speculation concerning those two stars’ final destinations seems to have narrowed dramatically. Unless any of the ubiqui...
Robin Lopez Is Trapped In Basketball Hell
Robin Lopez is having a bad time. The Bulls are awful, and are presently mired in a seven-game losing streak, with two games left on their current Western Conference road trip. To add insult to injury, this week head coach Jim Boylen told Lopez he’d be seeing fewer minutes of court time as the team ...
Matt Nagy Was Not Happy That Cody Parkey Went On The <i>Today</i> Show
Double doink artist Cody Parkey joined Today on Friday to talk about moving forward with his life and his career after costing his team a playoff win in the most devastating possible way. Parkey held his head high, telling the hosts he wasn’t completely gutted by the double doink because “football’s...
We're Approaching The Endgame Of The Machado/Harper Negotiations
Depending on how much you’re willing to believe the reported rumors, there appear to now be clear frontrunners in what seems to be at best to be three-team races for top free agents Bryce Harper and Manny Machado....
Bobby Portis Accuses Kevin Durant Of Injuring Him On Purpose
In the third quarter of Friday’s game between the Bulls and the Warriors, Bobby Portis attempted to set a screen on Kevin Durant so that Kris Dunn could get to the basket. Durant tried to get past Portis using a swim move—not unlike what a defensive lineman uses to get to a QB—and ended up pulling P...
Report: Bulls Give Jim Boylen An Extension? And A Raise?? During A Six-Game Losing Streak????
Jim Boylen’s tenure as the Chicago Bulls’ interim head coach been marked by near-mutiny from his own players and rarely-seen open mocking from other teams, but also: the actual basketball has been really shitty. The Bulls are 5-13 under Boylen, a hair better than their 5-19 start under possible futu...
White Sox Sign Shitty Player
The Chicago White Sox did their part to keep the hot stove warm enough that you could put an oven mitt on it, then come back 10 minutes later to find it mildly toasty and perhaps worthy of being ranked as a warmth, by announcing the signing of shitty outfielder Jon Jay today....
Robbie Gould, The Best Kicker In Bears History, Was At Their Playoff Loss
Bears fans might be having a rough Monday after Cody Parkey’s double-doink kept them from advancing in the playoffs, but this may provide some solace: The best kicker in the history of their franchise was in the stands watching....