chicago Page 30 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Tryhard Chicago Bulls Went All Out And Denied Lakers Fans Free Tacos
When an NBA game drifts into the boring morass of a blowout, fans across the country begin to focus on the most American of pursuits: free shit. ...
Can Somebody Besides The White Sox Please Give Manny Machado An Offer?
MLB’s slow trudge towards the signing of top free agents Manny Machado and Bryce Harper may at last possibly be nearing a conclusion. It also may not be! But at the very least the speculation concerning those two stars’ final destinations seems to have narrowed dramatically. Unless any of the ubiqui...
Robin Lopez Is Trapped In Basketball Hell
Robin Lopez is having a bad time. The Bulls are awful, and are presently mired in a seven-game losing streak, with two games left on their current Western Conference road trip. To add insult to injury, this week head coach Jim Boylen told Lopez he’d be seeing fewer minutes of court time as the team ...
Matt Nagy Was Not Happy That Cody Parkey Went On The <i>Today</i> Show
Double doink artist Cody Parkey joined Today on Friday to talk about moving forward with his life and his career after costing his team a playoff win in the most devastating possible way. Parkey held his head high, telling the hosts he wasn’t completely gutted by the double doink because “football’s...
We're Approaching The Endgame Of The Machado/Harper Negotiations
Depending on how much you’re willing to believe the reported rumors, there appear to now be clear frontrunners in what seems to be at best to be three-team races for top free agents Bryce Harper and Manny Machado....
Bobby Portis Accuses Kevin Durant Of Injuring Him On Purpose
In the third quarter of Friday’s game between the Bulls and the Warriors, Bobby Portis attempted to set a screen on Kevin Durant so that Kris Dunn could get to the basket. Durant tried to get past Portis using a swim move—not unlike what a defensive lineman uses to get to a QB—and ended up pulling P...
Report: Bulls Give Jim Boylen An Extension? And A Raise?? During A Six-Game Losing Streak????
Jim Boylen’s tenure as the Chicago Bulls’ interim head coach been marked by near-mutiny from his own players and rarely-seen open mocking from other teams, but also: the actual basketball has been really shitty. The Bulls are 5-13 under Boylen, a hair better than their 5-19 start under possible futu...
White Sox Sign Shitty Player
The Chicago White Sox did their part to keep the hot stove warm enough that you could put an oven mitt on it, then come back 10 minutes later to find it mildly toasty and perhaps worthy of being ranked as a warmth, by announcing the signing of shitty outfielder Jon Jay today....
Robbie Gould, The Best Kicker In Bears History, Was At Their Playoff Loss
Bears fans might be having a rough Monday after Cody Parkey’s double-doink kept them from advancing in the playoffs, but this may provide some solace: The best kicker in the history of their franchise was in the stands watching....
The Spanish Call Of Cody Parkey's Double-Doink Is Very, Very Good
Rickie Ricardo is the Spanish radio play-by-play guy for the Eagles (and, weirdly, the Yankees). He was in fine form Sunday evening, as Philly survived and advanced on a missed field goal by Cody Parkey. “I almost had a heart attack,” Ricardo tweeted of Parkey’s kick that banged off the upright, the...
Cody Parkey's Double-Doink Was Tipped
This is what the aftermath sounded like to Cody Parkey:...
Cody Parkey Double-Doinked And Kept The Nick Foles Magic Alive<em></em>
With ten seconds left in the game against Philadelphia, Bears kicker Cody Parkey somehow hit the goalpost and the crossbar on a 43-yard field goal attempt that would have eliminated the Eagles from the playoffs. The double-doinked kick was not good, and big-dicked god-king Nick Foles survived anothe...
Bears Complete 30-Yard Pass For No Gain As Officials Recover Fumble
The Eagles-Bears game got weird right before halftime when Eagles cornerback Cre’Von Leblanc wrested the ball from Bears receiver Anthony Miller in an impressive display of strength. The play was initially ruled an incompletion, but the inhuman standard of slow motion showed that Miller caught the b...
NBA Officials Ruined Two Great Posters With Two Soft Techs
Jaylen Brown and Lauri Markkanen each had an incredible posterizing dunk in their games on Friday night. Each player looked at their respective victims and gave a slight flex in victory over their athletic accomplishment. Shortly after, each player was assessed a technical foul for their “unsportsma...
Cubs Owners Discussed Moving Team Out Of Chicago During Beef With Mayor
In the nine years since Monopoly-man-come-to-life Joe Ricketts and his cartoonishly wealthy progeny purchased the Chicago Cubs from the Tribune Company, the Ricketts dynasty—publicly represented by 55-year-old investment banker and public transit enthusiast Tom—have found themselves in repeated disa...
Kerfuffle Erupts Between Thunder And Bitter, Tightly-Wound Bulls
The sad, demoralized Bulls are having their asses handed to them in Oklahoma City tonight. Perhaps the familiarity of another grim drubbing was more than they could bear—in the third quarter, down 21 points, they picked several fights all at once:...
Oh No, Corey Crawford Has Another Concussion
What has been a nightmare season for the Blackhawks has the potential to get a lot worse. Goaltender Corey Crawford, who missed nearly 10 months recovering from a concussion suffered almost exactly one year ago, was concussed again in Sunday night’s 7-3 loss to the Sharks....
Khalil Mack Uses His Butt To Earn Half A Sack
Bears pass rusher Khalil Mack is almost impossible to stop with his left-arm move, but he introduced a new devastating technique in today’s game against the Packers: the butt sack....
Blackhawks Mascot Gets Into A Wrestling Match With A Fan
Fighting a mascot is a bad idea—mascot’s advantages: padding, potential athleticism, people care about it more than you—and it becomes an even worse idea when the cameras are rolling. The Chicago Blackhawks’ Tommy Hawk scuffled with a fan after Friday night’s game, and he handled himself well....
This Nightmarish Bulls Season Appears To Be Wearing On Poor Horace Grant
The Bulls lost to the Magic in Mexico City Thursday night, in a game that was mostly uneventful, apart from leading scorer and leadership council member Zach LaVine hearing an ominous pop in his lower leg on a late drive. Some interesting news came after the game, when ESPN reported that Jabari Park...