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Trae Young Ejected For The Crime Of Staring At Kris Dunn's Back For Too Long
Less than 48 hours removed from a game that lasted through four periods of overtime, the Atlanta Hawks are playing the Chicago Bulls again, this time in the Windy City. Just as he did on Friday, Trae Young was still putting up points with ease on the Bulls—though admittedly not quite at the same rat...

Trae Young Ejected For The Crime Of Staring At Kris Dunn's Back For Too Long
Less than 48 hours removed from a game that lasted through four periods of overtime, the Atlanta Hawks are playing the Chicago Bulls again, this time in the Windy City. Just as he did on Friday, Trae Young was still putting up points with ease on the Bulls—though admittedly not quite at the same rat...

Alex Len Momentarily Forgot He Was Playing Basketball While Trying To Secure A Rebound
It wasn’t until the fourth(!!) period of overtime between the Bulls and Hawks on Friday that one team started to separate itself from the other. I’m talking, of course, about the Hawks, who began to separate themselves as the worst of the two on the court with less than two minutes to go in what eve...

Alex Len Momentarily Forgot He Was Playing Basketball While Trying To Secure A Rebound
It wasn’t until the fourth(!!) period of overtime between the Bulls and Hawks on Friday that one team started to separate itself from the other. I’m talking, of course, about the Hawks, who began to separate themselves as the worst of the two on the court with less than two minutes to go in what eve...

You Don't Have To Believe Any Of This Shit
A non-refundable $45 fee on a bank statement whose existence cannot be explained by anyone; Raytheon’s Twitter account responding to a jape from Lockheed Martin’s Twitter account with a GIF of a grimacing Steve Carell from an episode of The Office; a show on The Learning Channel that is just goatee...

White Sox Don't Sign Player
Kenny Williams, executive vice-president of the Chicago White Sox, spoke to reporters today about his team’s failed pursuit of Manny Machado, who will, per reports, sign with the San Diego Padres for $300 million or so:...

Tom Ricketts Blames His Dad's Islamophobic Emails On "The News Of The Day"
Cubs co-owner Tom Ricketts spoke to reporters today in an effort to once again distance the team from his father and fellow co-owner Joe Ricketts, whose racist email inbox was made public by Splinter earlier this month. Tom also offered a wan defense of his father, which somehow culminated in him bl...

Unavoidable Organization With Amoral Right-Wing Ownership Announces Partnership With Sinclair
The Chicago Cubs announced today that they will be launching a new regional sports network, beginning in 2020. For the new venture, called Marquee Sports Network, the Ricketts family has partnered with a real gem of a broadcasting company: Sinclair. Yeah, that Sinclair....

The NBA's Anti-Tanking Reform For Sure Hasn't Solved Sucking
The NBA recently messed with the odds in the draft lottery in order to discourage teams from tanking, but the real fruits of that move will be revealed over time, and anyway certain teams—looking at you, Phoenix—need no promise of draft lottery gold in order to just profoundly suck and lose all the ...

One Week After Declaring They Would Not Trade Otto Porter, The Wizards Trade Otto Porter For A Pile Of Trash
Almost exactly one week ago, Wizards owner Ted Leonsis mocked the very notion of his team trading any of John Wall, Bradley Beal, or Otto Porter, describing it as essentially a wacky, unworkable, and short-sighted fan theory....

Cubs Co-Owner Tom Ricketts Apologizes For All The Racist Emails In His Dad's Inbox
Yesterday, our colleagues at Splinter published a collection of insanely racist emails from the inbox of Joe Ricketts, the billionaire patriarch of the Ricketts family, which currently owns the Chicago Cubs. Found in these emails is Joe Ricketts expressing his appreciation for plainly racist jokes a...

If You're A Kicker Who Needs A Job You Should Think About Visiting Chicago
The Chicago Bears were double-doinked out of the playoffs by placekicker Cody Parkey, who then made an appearance on Today before anyone really had a chance to start feeling sorry for him. The Bears brass seemed pretty pissed about Parkey going on TV, and now he is officially on the hot seat:...

Report: Carmelo Anthony Has Been Dug Out Of The Crawl Space And Placed On The Corner
Hey, remember Carmelo Anthony? After a decidedly bad season in Oklahoma City, where he was supposed to help put the Thunder into title contention, he went to Houston with the intention of providing some shooting and keeping the Rockets in title contention. That pipe dream lasted mere weeks before he...

Sensitive Pee Baby Yadier Molina Didn't Like Kris Bryant Calling St. Louis "Boring"
The Chicago Cubs held their annual fan convention over the weekend, and one of the festivities was former Cubs pitcher Ryan Dempster hosting a mock late night show with current Cubs players as his guests. This was a chance for players to “cut loose” and “show their real personalities,” and that led...

Paul Millsap Can Still Jump, Apparently
The Bulls are taking on the Nuggets in Denver in a game that’s a lot closer than it should be. On the basis of the scoreline alone, it’s hard to tell that one team is the second-best squad in the West by record, and the other is trying hard to bring Zion Williamson onto their team. There are some in...

The Manny Machado Sweepstakes Is Kind Of A Mess
It was not all that long ago that baseball people—smart, evenhanded baseball people—were wondering if Manny Machado would become MLB’s first $400-million man. Now we’re all wondering if he’s going to make that much more than Chris Davis....

The Tryhard Chicago Bulls Went All Out And Denied Lakers Fans Free Tacos
When an NBA game drifts into the boring morass of a blowout, fans across the country begin to focus on the most American of pursuits: free shit. ...

Can Somebody Besides The White Sox Please Give Manny Machado An Offer?
MLB’s slow trudge towards the signing of top free agents Manny Machado and Bryce Harper may at last possibly be nearing a conclusion. It also may not be! But at the very least the speculation concerning those two stars’ final destinations seems to have narrowed dramatically. Unless any of the ubiqui...

Robin Lopez Is Trapped In Basketball Hell
Robin Lopez is having a bad time. The Bulls are awful, and are presently mired in a seven-game losing streak, with two games left on their current Western Conference road trip. To add insult to injury, this week head coach Jim Boylen told Lopez he’d be seeing fewer minutes of court time as the team ...