chicago Page 45 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
White Sox Create Hellish Artifact
Why an alarm clock that wakes you up by having Hawk Harrelson scream “You can put it on the board ... YESSSS!” at you exists I just can’t tell you, though Paul Skrbina of the Chicago Tribune has reported that we came close to living in a reality where the clock yelled “You gotta be bleepin’ me!” at ...
Zack Greinke Is Back To Humiliating Men At The Plate<em></em>
There’s no player in baseball—and maybe all of sports—quite like Zack Greinke. The man is a machine: efficient on the field, serious and direct off it, and constantly experimenting. He’s lost around five miles per hour off his fastball over the years, but Greinke on a night when he’s going well is s...
White Sox Announcers Have Inane Conversation
Chicago White Sox announcer Steve Stone has been one of the best color men in baseball for decades, and for half the year—the half he spends calling Sox home games with Jason Benetti—he remains one. During the other half of the year, which he spends calling Sox road games with Hawk Harrelson, he bec...
Brewers Stir A Little Beef By Suggesting That Cubs Called Rainout For Reason Other Than Rain
A few hours before the scheduled first pitch, the Cubs called to reschedule yesterday afternoon’s game against the Brewers due to rain. But when the original game time rolled around, it was no longer raining—and things stayed pretty dry for the rest of the day. An ordinary display of caution by the ...
Reports: White Sox Sign Cuban Top Prospect Luis Robert
The White Sox are finishing up a deal with Cuban top prospect Luis Robert worth more than $25 million, as first reported by Ken Rosenthal of FOX Sports and confirmed by several others. The team will have to pay more than $20 million in overage taxes for surpassing their international bonus pool, as ...
Fan Dies After Falling Over Railing At Wrigley Field
According to a statement released by the Cubs and the Cook County medical examiner’s office, a Cubs fan died after falling over a railing at Wrigley Field on Tuesday night....
White Sox Lose Game In 11th Inning On Albert Pujols Single
The White Sox almost won in extra innings last night against the Angels in Anaheim, but ultimately let the Angels win on a walk-off single....
White Sox Manager Lets Emotional Attachment To Mike Pelfrey Get Better Of Him
Chicago White Sox starter Mike Pelfrey has been generally ineffective this year, but he’s been at his worst when attempting to get through an opponent’s lineup for a third time. He’s pitched to 15 batters in this situation, allowing nine runs and a .750/.733/1.583 batting line....
Ah, Yes, Let's Relitigate The Slide Rule Some More
Joe Maddon and Jon Lester have come out hard against MLB’s slide rule after it cost them a run in the fifth inning of yesterday’s loss against the Cardinals....
Several Dogs Attend White Sox Game
Chicago’s South Side team hosted the Minnesota Twins tonight, as well as many baseball-loving dogs from the Chicago area. What better way to start a week of games against a division rival than Dog Day?...
Rockies Serve Cheap Swill To Appease Cubs Fans
Whenever the Cubs travel to Denver to play the Rockies, the stadium is full of Cubs fans. This is just a part of life—Cubs fans are everywhere at all times, and especially in Colorado, where fans were forced to turn to WGN for shitty Cubs baseball in the days before they had their own team—and nothi...
Kyle Schwarber Goes Head-Over-Heels Into Stands, Makes Catch
Tonight’s increasingly insufferable Yankees-Cubs extra innings game got a spark of excitement when Kyle Schwarber traversed what seems like several miles to track down a Chase Headley pop foul. The call, from ESPN Deportes’s Ernesto Jerez, is as excelsior as the catch....
White Sox Use Unconventional Means To Knock Orioles Starter Out Of Game
The first-place Chicago White Sox knocked Baltimore Orioles starter Wade Miley out of the game tonight, using the unusual method of repeatedly attacking him with sharply-hit balls. The GIF above shows Avisaíl García, currently leading the league in batting average, getting Miley right in the leg in ...
Phillies Escape 12th-Inning Bases-Loaded Jam With Improbable 6-9-3 Double Play
The surprisingly competent Philadelphia Phillies took this afternoon’s rumble with the defending champs to the 13th inning thanks to a rather weird double play. While this one comes off as a garden variety double play, the middleman here is Ty Kelly, a Phillies right fielder who was hanging out in t...
Report: Jay Cutler's New Job May Involve Apathetically Watching Football Games
Jay Cutler’s bare ass is still a free agent, but maybe not for long. The ex-Bears quarterback is reportedly interested in working as a broadcaster....
White Sox Slugger Avisaíl García Breaks Bat
One of the big surprises of the young baseball season has been Chicago White Sox outfielder Avisaíl García—sold to fans of the South Siders upon his acquisition as the second coming of Magglio Ordóñez, and in reality more like a butt—hitting like a god. He came into tonight leading the league in bat...
Report: Cubs' World Series Trophy Damaged At Theo Epstein's Charity Concert In Boston
Theo Epstein and his brother Paul run the charity Foundation To Be Named Later, and every year, they host a benefit concert called Hot Stove Cool Music. Since Epstein’s Cubs came to Boston last week to play the Red Sox, the brothers hosted a show headlined by Eddie Vedder, and Theo brought both the ...
White Sox Option Jacob May To Triple-A
The Chicago White Sox have optioned center fielder Jacob May to Triple-A Charlotte, reports Daryl Van Schouwen of the Chicago Sun-Times....
The Bears' Mitch Trubisky Pick Keeps Looking Worse And Worse
I made the mistake of going outside this weekend instead of turning off my lights, pulling my curtains, and binging on schadenfreude from the Bears’ shocking draft decision to give up two thirds and a fourth to move up one spot to grab QB Mitchell Trubisky, whom they could’ve had at No. 3 overall an...
Hawk Harrelson Has Invaded The Indian Premier League
So there I was, kindly minding my own business on a usual Sunday (a dozen MLB games on various screens, but mostly paying attention to the Wizards-Celtics game) when an unmistakable voice came barreling into my skull like an ice pick through my tympanic membrane....