chicago Page 50 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Nationals Are All-In On Chris Sale
From multiple media reports, the Nationals appear to be the team most likely to land White Sox ace Chris Sale in a trade this offseason—possibly as soon as this week’s Winter Meetings. The only thing that might scuttle the deal? If the Nats get Andrew McCutchen instead....
That's Not Meyers Leonard's Name, Bulls PA Guy
The Portland Hale Blazers are playing their only game of the year in Chicago tonight, so the odd mistake of nomenclature is forgivable. Meyers Leonard was misidentified as “Miles” (perhaps it was “Myles?”) tonight and he loudly offered a correction....
49ers Get Flagged For Celebrating Touchdown That Didn't Happen
Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse for the San Francisco 49ers and Chicago Bears, they had to play each other today....
Former Chicago Bear Charged For Abuse Of Child Prisoners
A former lineman for the Chicago Bears who became a prison guard is facing nine felony charges in Kane County, Illinois for his role in a scheme to encourage violence amongst inmates at a juvenile correctional facility as a method of self-policing. ...
Hot Fucking Stove: Don't Touch The Stove It's Extremely Hot
Good news, friends: The Thanksgiving holiday brought us not just a bounty of meats, side dishes, and familial bonding, but also mildly interesting baseball transactions that could have anywhere from no to some impact on the upcoming season of “America’s pastime.”...
Jay Cutler's Time In Chicago Is Probably Over With
As Barry wrote a month ago, Jay Cutler is highly unlikely to return to the Chicago Bears next year. He’s 33 years old and the Bears have to pay him $16 million dollars if they keep him next year, which would be an outrageous amount to pay the disgruntled sort-of-good quarterback of a 2-8 team in ful...
Suicidal Squirrel Takes Down Squirrel-Hating Chicago Politician
Howard Brookins can’t stand squirrels....
Bears LB Leonard Floyd Stretchered Off The Field After Neck Injury
Chicago Bears linebacker Leonard Floyd left today’s game on a stretcher after injuring his neck on a play....
Alshon Jeffery Suspended Four Games For Violating PED Policy
Alshon Jeffery is not having the best year. He’s set to be a free agent this offseason, and a bounce-back season in which he returned to his 2013-14 form could have set him up for a decent payday. Unfortunately, he’s only got 630 yards and one touchdown in nine games of the season, and now he’s in ...
Jay Cutler Ends First Half With Hail Mary
Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler’s game against the Buccaneers did not get off to a good start, with two interceptions (one a pick-six) in the first quarter. But he took a pretty nice step toward redeeming himself with a Hail Mary to finish off the first half:...
The Blackhawks Are Hot As Hell
We’re nearly a fifth of the way through the season (already!), and while the Canadiens have the best record, and the Rangers the best goal differential, there is no team hotter than the Chicago Blackhawks. It’s a bit of a surprise, given their roster turnover and the number of unproven young players...
Cubs Will Remove Fan Messages From Stadium Walls
Throughout the playoffs, Cubs fans have been writing messages and drawing with chalk on the walls of the team’s stadium (thank you to the tipster who sent us photos of all the nearby dicks they could find scrawled on the ground). The Cubs cleaned everything off when the World Series started, but sin...
Theo Epstein Ate Goat In The Bleachers At Wrigley
Theo Epstein is having a pretty good life. On top of ending a cumulative 194 years of historic championship droughts, Epstein can get whatever meats he wants on demand, and he can eat those meats wherever he damn well pleases....
Anthony Rizzo Gets Weepy While Introducing David Ross At Victory Parade
This has been a great sports week, and you’ve only got a few hours until all that shit that made you feel good about being a sports fan fades into memory and you return to the office on Monday as the same cynical prick you’ve always been. But before you march back into the gloom, let the Chicago Cub...
Victory Parades Aren't Fun For Everyone
The Chicago Cubs are having their victory parade today, and the city decided to dye its river blue in order to help set a festive mood....
Congratulations, Chicago. Now Get Over It.
You did it. You won the game. Congrats. Now it’s over, and the time has come to move on. ...
Give Theo Epstein And Bill Murray A Buddy Cop Movie, Now
Theo Epstein was rightfully and marvelously tanked last night on national television. Bill Murray, the better of the two Cubs mascots, helped him along his way....
Ben Zobrist Has Your Attention Now
It’s good to be Ben Zobrist. After leaving Tampa, where he put in nine productive seasons, he’s now a back-to-back World Series champion, helping bring championships to both the Royals and the Cubs, two midwestern teams with disparate, but notable droughts. Oh, and he delivered the decisive hit to m...
The Cubs Don't Have To Pretend To Be Lovable Losers Anymore
Cubs fans: Go crazy, you’ve waited more than long enough. But while this World Series is a welcome end to your suffering, let us not pretend that the Cubs franchise has ever been half as downtrodden as it portrays itself. Losing does not automatically bestow charm; underachievement does not make an ...
Kris Bryant Smiling Through The Final Out Is My Favorite Thing
I don’t really have anything add to this video of 24-year-old Kris Bryant grinning like an idiot as he made the throw to first to win the World Series, only a sincere wish that everyone reading this gets to experience a moment of similar anticipatory joy in their lives, and the observation that it i...