chicago Page 69 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
"An Absolute Shit Show": Tales From The Wrigley Field Bathroom Lines
Despite the Cubs’ increasingly emphatic insistence otherwise, Wrigley Field was not ready for opening day. Even beyond the expected absence of bleachers, the stadium’s infrastructure was apparently overwhelmed by the gameday crowd, with bathroom lines stretching through the concourse and back out i...
Fans At Wrigley Field Are Resorting To Peeing In Cups
We’ve been chronicling the hilarity of the Cubs’ attempts to renovate Wrigley Field this offseason, but things took a dark turn as the park opened for its first game Sunday night. An anonymous tipster sent us the above photo with the following explanation:...
No One Bid On Jay Cutler's Autographed Football At A Charity Auction
A March 26 pet-adoption charity event at a Chicago Bloomingdale’s attempted to auction off a football signed by Jay Cutler. The starting bid was $100. No one placed any bids. No one. Zero....
Bo Jackson Had To Explain Who He Was To This Dumb Child
Bo Jackson has been hanging out at the White Sox spring training facility this year, acting as an instructor and imparting wisdom on dumb young people. Today’s lessons was for Drake LaRoche, the teenaged son of White Sox first baseman Adam LaRoche, who needed a little crash course on who exactly Bo...
Heroic Chicagoan Escapes Tyrant Tow Truck
We are all born into and struggle against the confines of a system that denies our individuality and seeks to limit us. Some struggle more effectively than others....
Wrigley Field Has A Big Jumbotron Now, Still No Bleachers
It’s three days until opening night, and Wrigley Field is finally starting to look like a real ballpark again. Haha, just kidding! ...
Here's What The Massive Construction At Wrigley Looked Like Yesterday
We asked readers to send us recent photos of the ongoing construction at Wrigley Field, which is all fucked up. We got a lot of pictures from readers that were taken yesterday. This is what Wrigley looked like, 10 days out from opening night....
Wrigley Field Is Fucked
This off-season marked the start of a long, expansive, expensive, and arguably unnecessary renovation project at Wrigley Field, which was supposed to be completed over the course of four off-seasons and leave the stadium fully operational during the summer. According to Cubs chairman Tom Ricketts, t...
Chicago Sports Radio Guys Take To Twitter To Discuss Reporter's Breasts
Matt Spiegel and Dan Bernstein work for 670 The Score in Chicago. Spiegel has a radio show; Bernstein has a column, a radio show, and hot takes on Derrick Rose. Wednesday night, the two took to Twitter to discuss CSN Chicago reporter Aiyana Cristal. The conversation started with Spiegel expressing p...
José Abreu Is Baseball's Most Interesting Boring Star
Every now and then a sportswriter, worrying over why baseball isn't as popular with the youngs as it once was/could be, will cite the blandness of the modern star as one of the great problems facing the game. Recently, for instance, the Boston Globe's Nick Cafardo cited Reggie Jackson, Barry Bonds, ...
Nikola Mirotic Is Balling
Bulls rookie forward Nikola Mirotic went for 28 points and eight rebounds in a win against the Hornets last night, a performance that he punctuated by banking one on Jason Maxiell's head. Mirotic's minutes have been fluctuating like crazy throughout the season, but Tom Thibodeau is finally starting ...
Even The Chicago Cubs Are Owning Darren Rovell
You would think that after a career full of attempts at being clever on Twitter backfiring, living BrandBot Darren Rovell would give up the bantering aspect of the platform and stick to reporting on whichever 8,000 calorie food abomination is being introduced in a minor league ballpark near you. B...
WGN Has Woman Make Sparks With Her Crotch In Front Of Awestruck Kids
This wonderful moment in local news history was broadcast recently on Chicago's WGN. Please note the children in the background....
You Should Be Paying Attention To Tink
Tink is a Chicago triple-threat singer, rapper, and songwriter who has been gradually making her rise on the rap blogs and niche-music internet over the past two years or so. "Ratchet Commandments" is the first single off her upcoming major-label, Timbaland-produced debut record. It's great, but it'...
Antrel Rolle Signed With Chicago After Getting A Message From God/Orbitz
Longtime Giants safety Antrel Rolle signed with the Chicago Bears this week, but leaving New York was not a decision he treated lightly. While a guest on WFAN sports radio today, Rolle explained that he agonized over the decision, even going so far as to ask God for a sign telling him what to do. ...
Sad Derrick Rose Shrine Even Sadder After Being Vandalized
Remember that incredibly sad Derrick Rose shrine we told you about yesterday? Well, the only thing sadder than a shrine to a still living basketball player under an underpass is a vandalized shrine to a still living basketball player under an underpass. David Beltran and Brendan Carroll—the two ar...
Which One Of These Spin Moves Is The Nastiest?
In one corner, we have Giannis Antetokounmpo dusting Quincy Pondexter on his way to a two-handed slam. ...
Chicago Artist's Shrine To Derrick Rose Is The Saddest
It's a common human response to erect shrines and murals in public spaces commemorating fallen heroes. One Chicago artist felt particularly moved by Derrick Rose's umpteenth injury to create one in his memory, replete with the point guard's visage wearing a crown of thorns, crutches and knee pads la...
Jets Trade For Brandon Marshall
The Bears have agreed to send WR Brandon Marshall to the Jets, per ESPN's Adam Schefter. The haul hasn't been reported yet (Update: a fifth rounder), but it shouldn't be huge: Chicago was desperate to move Marshall before his $7.5 million guarantee kicked in next week....
Let's All Be More Like This Large Fellow Who Slapped Joakim Noah's Ass
You might be tempted to call E'Twaun Moore's game-winning three the highlight of last night's contest between the Thunder and Bulls, but I submit that the night's truly transcendent moment occurred on the ensuing possession, when a portly Bulls fan lost all notion of etiquette and got himself a big ...