chicago Page 81 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Joakim Noah's Evisceration Of The Knicks Was A Thing Of Beauty
There are plenty of reasons to love Joakim Noah, and the masterful performance he put on against the Knicks yesterday showed off a lot of them. The Bulls came away with a 109-90 victory, and they were paced throughout the blowout by Noah, who finished the game with 13 points, 12 rebounds, and 14 as...

Nothing Is Out Of Bounds For Jimmy Butler
Chicago's Jimmy Butler dove for a loose ball and saved it for his team, but at the expense of falling into the stands. The other nine players ran down the court while Butler, trapped by a row of fans in seats, ran through the aisle and jumped over an empty seat to stop the offensive 4-on-5. The litt...

Penguins-Blackhawks Made For Lovely, Snow-Filled Photos
The Blackhawks beat the Penguins 5-1 in the final Stadium Series game of the season Saturday at Soldier Field, while snow fell to make the whole event feel more wintry. Most people who deal with winter were sick of snow by mid-January, but the rest of you can enjoy these lovely photos....

Blackhawks Score First Goal In Stadium Series Snowstorm
Patrick Sharp put the Blackhawks on the board at 15:35 of the first period with this one-timer over the shoulder of Marc-André Fleury. The score stands at 1-0 as we begin the second period....


Corey Crawford's Stadium Series Mask Is Missing
Crawford initially speculated on Twitter that the mask—specially designed for the final Stadium Series game tonight—might have been stolen, but he later told NHL Network that the he didn't know where it was. "I don't know. Reebok doesn't know. FedEx doesn't know." The puck drops between the Hawks an...

Marc-Andre Fleury's Stadium Series Mask Looks Like A Steelers Helmet
Honest-to-goodness NHL hockey is back tonight! (Sort of.) But if you need some novelty to ease the transition from the Olympics to the stretch run, Saturday marks the fourth and final Stadium Series game. The Penguins will take on the Blackhawks at Soldier Field, and as is tradition, both goalies wi...

The Reason To Love Joakim Noah, In One Meaningless Play
Here's a play from the end of of last night's Bulls-Warriors game that's really nothing special at all. The game itself wasn't all that interesting—the ever-overmatched Bulls hung around for as long as they could, scrapping out points like a mid-major college team, before eventually being overwhelm...

Patrick Kane Honors Dead Grandfather, Breaks Down After Game
Just before taking the ice for last night's game against the Kings, Patrick Kane learned that his grandfather had died. Kane played in the game, finishing with two goals and one assist. After scoring his first goal, seen above, Kane kissed his fingers and pointed skyward....

Joakim Noah Takes The Time To Properly Curse Out The Refs
Joakim Noah suffered a mini-meltdown after being ejected last night against Sacramento, but he's a master craftsman, and so wasn't about to leave the court without individually telling each ref what he thought about them....

Chicago Columnist Picks Bears To Win Super Bowl
Chicago Tribune columnist Steve Rosenbloom doesn't even think it's going to be a close game either. He thinks the Bears are going clobber the ...well, it's unclear who, but whatever; he thinks they're going to win 75-0. ...

Joe Thornton Shames Corey Crawford With Lovely Shootout Goal
The game-winning shootout goal in last night's Blackhawks-Sharks game was gorgeous, courtesy of San Jose's Joe Thornton. The captain completely worked goalie Corey Crawford for an easy goal, and the 2-1 shootout victory....

Hawk Harrelson Is Baseball's Drunk Grandaddy
White Sox beat writer Daryl Van Schouwen captured everyone's favorite insufferable homer enjoying himself at this year's Sox Fest. ...
![Roundup: Your Best Clark The Cub Photoshop Contest Submissions [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/19ctxj7urldbhjpg.jpg)
Roundup: Your Best Clark The Cub Photoshop Contest Submissions [NSFW]
Clark the Cub may very well go down as the best Photoshop contest subject in Deadspin history. We asked you to do horrible things to him, and you came through. Here now is your best work....

Jameer Nelson Did The Big Balls Dance
Last night's Bulls-Magic game was a three-overtime thriller marked by plenty of big shots, but it would just have been a standard 101-99 Bulls win if not for Jameer Nelson and his big balls. Here we see Nelson tying the game with a jumper in the closing seconds of the fourth quarter, and then hitti...

Meanwhile, in Chicago, Joel Reese defends Clark the Pantsless Cub. Neil Steinberg does not. Some highlights: "Horror ... pantsless obscenity ... Smurf-like blandness ... monstrosity ... homogenized ... this excrescence ... designed to pacify the sick children it visits in hospitals (thus freeing act...

Comcast SportsNet Airs Our Version Of Cubs Mascot With Cock And Balls
Earlier this week we introduced you to terrifying Cubs mascot Clark The Cub and invited you to do horrible things to him. We started you off with Jim Cooke's full-frontal rendition, which is exactly what Comcast SportsNet Mid-Atlantic aired to viewers across the Washington, D.C. area tonight....

Old Man Asked To Stop Shooting Icicles On His House
How do you knock down icicles on your house? A shovel? A stick? Your hands? Those are all common and effective methods. One old man in Illinois went with his gun instead....

Cubs Are Disappointed You Did Such Filthy Things To Their New Mascot
It's been a rough two days for Clark the Cub, the Chicago Cubs' dumb new mascot. We put a gross dick on him, and a lot of other people did some not-so-nice things to him as well. The Cubs have noticed all of this, and they are tired of all the tomfoolery....

A Brief History Of Terrible Chicago Mascots
The Chicago Cubs unveiled their new mascot yesterday to little acclaim. That's what happens when you create a mascot that looks like a nightmarish, perverted furry and lends itself to horrible Photoshop alterations. But Clark the Cub is just the latest in a long line of ill-advised Chicago mascots. ...