chicagobears Page 5 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This is Horse$#&!: Nick Foles is Just Some More Chicago Bears Patchwork
For most of their fans, watching the Bears in the offseason is a lot like watching Martin Landau’s Bela Lugosi in the lake with the octopus in “Ed Wood.” Not only does he have to thrash about wildly, but he has to additionally do the thrashing about for the inanimate and unwieldy beast he’s wrestlin...
Matt Nagy Kind Of Did It To Himself This Time
Matt Nagy spent most of the offseason openly tormenting himself and his team about the double-doink kick that knocked the Bears out of last year’s playoffs. The stakes behind Sunday’s game-losing miss weren’t nearly as high—nobody is going to remember the Bears losing a game 17–16 in October, becaus...
The Bears Missed A Field Goal To Lose A Game
The Chicago Bears have some *ahem* history with missed field goals, and the failure of Cody Parkey in last season’s playoffs clearly haunted the psyche of coach Matt Nagy all summer. But while this miss—by replacement kicker Eddy Pineiro to lose 17-16 against the Chargers—may not be as significant a...
Bears Fans Boo Team Off The Field After Offense Freezes At The Goal Line
Is this football? I think it’s supposed to be football, but what I’m seeing is an especially glitchy game of Madden I need to turn off and turn back on again. And the fans in Chicago seem to agree with me. Heading into halftime against the Chargers, down 7-6 with 45 seconds remaining in the quarter,...
Skycam Had The Perfect Shot Of Cordarrelle Patterson's 102-Yard TD Return
Not much went right for the 3-3 Bears in their 36-25 home loss to the Saints, but there was a heroic moment for fans of both camera tech and TV production. Bears fans: it’s not too late to jump off that sinking ship and bandwagon either, and will probably be more profitable....
Khalil Mack Didn't Want To Talk To Anyone After The Raiders' O-Line Kicked His Ass
For those who revel in the schadenfreude that the failures of Jon Gruden tend to provide, Sunday’s Bears-Raiders game was a big moment as it was the first time Khalil Mack would face off against his former team. Yet the narrative of the Mack trade constantly blowing up in Gruden’s face had to be put...
Bears' Roquan Smith Says He'll Play This Week After Missing One Game For "Personal Reasons"
Linebacker Roquan Smith, who didn’t have an injury designation, was a last-minute scratch this past Sunday before the Bears played the Vikings. As mysterious as his absence was, it seems that it’ll only be a one-week blip....
Woman Imprisoned For Killing Pregnant Girlfriend Of Chicago Bears Pro Bowler Asks For Murder Conviction To Be Tossed
One of Chicagoland’s great murder mysteries, the one surrounding the 2007 killing of Rhoni Reuter, the pregnant girlfriend of ex–Chicago Bear Shaun Gayle, may have new life. Marni Yang, another girlfriend of Gayle’s who is now in prison for killing Reuter and her unborn child, has filed a petition s...
Matt Nagy Doesn't Reveal Anything About Roquan Smith's Mysterious Deactivation
Chicago Bears linebacker Roquan Smith didn’t play Sunday against the Vikings, despite not being listed on the team’s injury report all week. Smith was downgraded to doubtful right before the game, then ultimately watched the game on the sidelines. The team would only say that he was out for “person...
Tarik Cohen Unwittingly Exposes A Nude Kyle Long To The World
The Chicago Bears keep a rowdy locker room after wins, and after they smoked Washington on the road Monday night, they turned the visitor’s locker room into “Club Dub.” Everyone had a good time! Head coach Matt Nagy threw his arms around a bunch! Running back Tarik Cohen accidentally showed his tea...
Heartbreaking: Dan Snyder Won't Buy This Man A Spoon
In what is absolutely not a metaphor for Jay Gruden’s coaching and [gestures vaguely at Washington’s routine ascendance to new frontiers of dysfunction], the Monday Night Football broadcast caught a team employee on Washington’s sideline stirring a cooler full of Gatorade with what appears to be a p...
You Will Never Unsee Morgan Moses's Hasty Right Leg
I do not advise tuning in for the Monday night matchup between Washington and the Bears for any reason. Those deranged enough to watch this horror show have seen the Bears pound the bejeezus out of the home team in every phase, starting with a first-quarter pick-six to open the scoring. The especia...
Soft Roughing The Passer Call Helps Deprive World Of Elite Joe Flacco Moment
On the Broncos’ final drive of the game, Joe Flacco finally looked like the elite quarterback that John Elway thought he was when the Denver GM signed the ex-Raven this offseason. After leading his team 50 yards down the field, Flacco faced a 4th-and-3 on the Bears’ 12-yard line. The quarterback the...
Tramon Williams Adds Further Humiliation To Mitchell Trubisky's Rotten Opening Night
Yes, it’s Week 1. Yes, the Packers defense is expected to be much improved this season, after general manager Brian Gutekunst dedicated big bucks during the offseason to improving the personnel. Still. Chicago’s offense Thursday night was totally punchless, even amateurish, outside of a few nifty pl...
Person Caught Saying “I Never Had My Butt Fingered” On NFL Broadcast
The NFL is back, and we already have our biggest storyline of the season: Who said “I never had my butt fingered” on the NBC broadcast of the season’s opening Packers-Bears game?...
Last Man Standing In Bears' Exhaustive Kicker Competition Bonks Extra Point To Timbuktu
The kicker competition at Bears training camp has been an ongoing delight for anyone who is neither a Bears fan nor a kicker auditioning for the job. Nine—one two three four five six seven eight nine—kickers were initially rounded up and cast in Matt Nagy’s weirdly self-loathing quest to somehow ban...
Why Your Team Sucks 2019: Chicago Bears
Some people are fans of the Chicago Bears. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Chicago Bears. This 2019 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here....
It Is Hazardous To Be A Bears Kicker Under Matt Nagy
If you want the simplest, hardest piece of news from Kalyn Kahler’s fantastic writeup for Sports Illustrated of the Chicago Bears’ offseason kicking saga, it’s that the decision to cut Cody Parkey was made immediately upon the second doink. If you want the most important and still-relevant piece of ...
Former Running Back Cedric Benson Dies In Motorcycle Crash
Former Bears, Bengals and Packers running back Cedric Benson died on Saturday in a motorcycle crash in Austin, Texas, according to multiple reports. He was 36....
Kyle Long Tried To Beat A Teammate With His Own Helmet And Then Barfed
Training camp fights are a relatively common occurrence, but few are as eventful as the scrap that took place on Wednesday between Bears offensive lineman Kyle Long and defensive lineman Jalen Dalton. Here is a description of the fight that is just packed with evocative imagery:...