child Page 8 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

GM Makes Absurd Claims About Why Adrian Peterson Is Back With Vikings

Vikings GM Rick Spielman was trotted out in front of the media today to explain why the Minnesota Vikings decided to reinstate Adrian Peterson despite the fact that he has been indicted on child injury charges in a case where none of the facts are in dispute....

Adrian Peterson: "I Caused An Injury That I Never Intended"

Vikings running back Adrian Peterson has released a statement regarding his recent indictment on child injury charges. As apologies go, it is not entirely convincing....

Report: Vikings Will Handle Adrian Peterson's Status On Monday

The Vikings already deactivated Adrian Peterson for today's game due to his indictment on child injury charges, but the team will figure out his status going forward on Monday, according to a report....

Adrian Peterson Turns Himself In To Montgomery County Authorities

Peterson arrived at the jail and was let in through a side entrance. Authorities released his mug shot a short time later. His bond amount was set at $15,000, according to the sheriff's office....

Lalalala, The Ginger Hammer Can't Hear You!

Here is a story in three tweets....

Don't Buy All The Pies At Burger King To Spite A Child, You Asshole

By now you likely have encountered this thing, currently wending its way across the internet. In short, the story goes that the guy—a redditor (of course) known as thr111—spited the whiny, out-of-control child and distracted, defensive mother behind him in line at Burger King by purchasing every ...

Why Your Classic Children's Television Program Sucks: <em>Saved By The Bell</em>

Time for another look at the awful children’s programming you’re forced to endure before you can finally kick the kids out of the TV room to watch sports for eight hours. Previous installments in this series can be found here. ...

Boris Becker Has A Custom Boris Becker Phone Cover

This is an image from Wimbledon today of Novak Djokovic's coach, Boris Becker, snapping a photo with an iPhone encased in what appears to be a cute picture of Boris Becker and his family. It's basically the photographic equivalent of the following sentence, which appeared in a press release not long...

Song For My Father

Several years ago, I eagerly read Adam Hochschild's celebrated book about the early days of the Belgian Congo, King Leopold's Ghost. It is an evocative and engaging read. I was stopped on the subway twice, exactly one week apart, by women who saw me reading the book and who were compelled to tell me...

Tim Duncan And His Kids Were Adorable

Tim Duncan brought his ridiculously cute children to his postgame press conference, and they both gave ridiculously cute answers to a question about their dad....

“Wheels On The Bus” On YouTube: A Distressed Father’s Guide

So my firstborn son is obsessed with "Wheels on the Bus," and will sing it at the slightest provocation, or with no provocation at all, really. He's three ("a young three," as noted by now multiple polite but clearly frazzled instructors at toddler-activity sessions he's disrupted by, for example, f...

An Ode To Sleeping Children

I had to look after all three of my kids by myself this weekend, and when you are alone with children for that long, you are so put-upon that your memory stops working. I can't even recall what happened over those three days, because my brain went into Safe Mode and was like, NOPE. I'M NOT STORING...

Twins Fan Gives Finger To Little Girl Who Won't Throw Back HR Ball [Update]

This is from Wednesday's game, a David Ortiz home run that was retrieved by a girl in the first row. When the girl made it clear she had no intentions of tossing the ball back onto the field, the woman in red let the girl know to her face what she thought of that decision....

Here's the story behind psyched-up Penguins baby....

Children's Drawings Of The Phillies' Lineup Are Adorably Goofy

Reader Alex sent us photos from today's Phillies game against the Marlins. As an event for the first Sunday home game, the team used children's drawings of the players for the pictures accompanying the lineup on the Jumbotron. The doodles are pretty cute, and—oh no, what happened to Marlon Byrd's ey...

Here Is Video Of A Footrace Between Staffers Last Night

We'll be with you shortly....

Cops Allege Former Wisconsin WR Marcus Randle-El Is Gun-Toting Abductor

An Amber Alert issued in Illinois at 11:45 p.m. Eastern time Thursday night named a Marcus Randle-El as the suspect in the kidnapping of his own three-year-old daughter. Local media reports that's the same Marcus Randle-El who played wide receiver at Wisconsin and is the brother of former Steelers p...

Little League Coach Sues Own Player For Dumb, Dumb Reason

Alan Beck, a chiropractor/little league coach in Lakeside, Calif., is suing a 14-year-old player for tossing his helmet in celebration after scoring a game-winning run. That helmet struck Beck and tore his Achilles tendon. ...

The Best Way To Have Tom Brady And Ed O'Neill Sign The Same Football

One might think that it's weird to have Tom Brady and Ed O'Neill autograph the same football, because it kind of is. But if you're going to try and pull off such a feat—hey, maybe you need a gift for your dear friend who loves the Patriots and middle-brow ABC comedies—do what reader Tom did:...

Dumb Column About Michael Vick: "Who Will Think Of The Children?"

There is a stupid thing in the New York Times today, which if read aloud in the proper cadence would sound quite a bit like a warmup oration for a tar-and-feathering. It's about Michael Vick, of course, and it argues that no team in the NFL should sign Michael Vick, for the sake of the children....