children Page 2 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Caron Butler's New Hair Freaked Out His Kids
Caron Butler went on national television with a brand new head of hair on Saturday like nobody was going to notice, but people certainly did....
What Swear Word Did Eli Manning Have To Look Up?
The putative news from Eli Manning’s appearance Wednesday on a panel discussion about brain injuries is that the Giants QB declared Odell Beckham Jr. to be the most talented player he’s ever played with. This is not “news,” as such, because: no duh. It also wasn’t the most interesting thing Manning ...
Australian Shopping Center Terrorized By A Pair Of Hellion Nine-Year-Olds
Two extremely, ah, feisty(?) nine-year-old girls went on an absolute fucking rampage at the Helensvale Shopping Centre in Gold Coast, Queensland, Australia yesterday. And by “absolute fucking rampage” I mean that they abused an old lady, spat on, punched, and kicked a security guard, and danced on a...
My Kids Won’t Stop Gaslighting Me<em></em>
If you’ve been around these internet parts for the past few years, you know all about gaslighting, wherein people stand behind a lie so fervently that they compel others to believe it as well, leaving marks unsure as to what is true and what really is the name of Apple CEO Tim Apple....
Isaiah Thomas's Excellent Sports Child Makes It Impossible To Root Against His Shrimpy Dad
Isaiah Thomas returned to the court Wednesday night for the first time in nearly 11 months, as a reserve for the Denver Nuggets. He was pretty good, going for eight points in 13 minutes of burn, and finishing plus-2 in a game the Nuggets won on another hideous Nikola Jokic game-winner....
Chris Bosh's Teeny Son Has Yet To Learn The Way Of The Baller
Chris Bosh introduced his adorable children to MSG Network’s Rebecca Haarlow during Monday night’s Wizards-Knicks preseason game. These are some seriously cute children. Haarlow, thinking fast, asked Bosh’s teeny son Jackson whether he will grow up to be a baller. It turns out innocent young Jackson...
Inspiring Viral Sports Girl Is Actually A Boy
This week a video of a small child made the rounds on social media. The child, wearing a Real Madrid uniform and a ponytail, dances through defenders with a soccer ball and then smiles up at the camera:...
This Children's Book Is Messed Up: <i>Caps For Sale</i>
Caps for Sale: A Tale of a Peddler, Some Monkeys and Their Monkey Business is a children’s classic that was published in 1940. Written and illustrated by Esphyr Slobodkina, it’s an adaptation of a folk tale about monkeys stealing hats, because humanity’s entertainment situation was DIRE before strea...
This Children's Book Is Messed Up: <i>The Story Of Babar</i>
The Babar I remember from childhood was a jolly elephant who goes on adventures. Somehow that’s all I took with me into adulthood from early readings of The Story of Babar by Jean de Brunhoff (and his wife Cécile, who first told their children the story at bedtime), a children’s classic that spurred...
The WNBA's Weekday Afternoon Games Aren't As Weird As They Look
Of the many responses to Elizabeth Cambage’s historic 53-point performance with the Dallas Wings on Tuesday afternoon, one of the most common dealt not with the performance itself, but the Tuesday afternoon part. Why, people quite reasonably wondered, was one of the great moments in league history t...
Kobe Bryant Still Wants To Help Your Kids Be More Like Kobe Bryant<em></em><em></em>
During the question-and-answer session that followed the screening of Kobe Bryant’s short film Dear Basketball at the Tribeca Film Festival last spring, Bryant said a lot of things that would have been very hard to credit from anyone less driven or deeply weird than Kobe Bryant. He used a lot of the...
Why Your Children's Television Program Sucks: <i>Transformers Prime</i>
A look at the awful children’s programming you’re forced to endure before you can finally kick the kids out of the TV room to watch sports for eight hours....
Why Your Children's Television Program Sucks: <i>Mighty Morphin Power Rangers</i>
A look at the awful children’s programming you’re forced to endure before you can finally kick the kids out of the TV room to watch sports for eight hours. Image by Jim Cooke....
Here's A Great Multi-Sport Baby
Calvin, no, that’s a basketball, you don’t hit a basketball with a baseball bat...oh....
Banned Golf Phenom Returns To Links, Keeps Winning
After a bizarre, court-ordered ban from golf, a preteen golf prodigy in suburban Washington, D.C., has returned to the sport, and has picked up right where she left off....
Please, For The Love Of All That Is Holy And Football-Shaped, Do Not Ruin <i>Hey Arnold</i>
These days I watch my toddler nephews and nieces watch YouTube videos of adults unboxing and playing with toys for children, and wonder what level of the brain meme I’m living on. Sometimes I poke and probe—what could be interesting about this? Why is watching this more fun than playing with the ver...
Mets Fan Nearly Drops Baby For Foul Ball, And Mom Is <i>Pissed</i>
In the eighth inning of last night’s 6-3 Dodgers win, one Mets fan decided he could make a one-handed play on a foul ball with a baby already in the other arm. He did, I suppose, though I’m not sure the baby’s mother would agree with his decision-making....
Children And Sunscreen: A Guide To Summer Hell
Every year I look forward to summer before remembering that summer is, in fact, hell. There are bugs. There is swampass. There are bored children punching each other for sport. And there is suntan lotion. Ohhhhhh, suntan lotion. Oh how I DESPISE you with a concentrated fury. Is there a more necessar...
Tiny Soccer Birthday Boy Is The Sports Highlight Of The Day
The accuracy of this tyke’s shot is obviously impressive as hell, but what I am here for is the taunting of the candle. This child is going to have a long and polarizing career, at least unless the candle comes back at him studs-up....
Sportswriters Whine About Kid Reporter Asking Legitimate Question At Press Conference
In South Carolina coach Frank Martin’s postgame press conference last night, preteen Sports Illustrated Kids reporter Max Bonnstetter asked an interesting and well-formulated question—one that, somehow, upset a handful of “adult” journalists:...