Eduard Bello, 23, a Venezuelan midfielder for Antofagasta, a club in the Chilean first division, scored in the second minute yesterday to give his side the early lead over Everton CD. Then he ran off the field and into the stands to propose to his girlfriend, Venezuelan beach volleyball player Gabriela Brito, 24.

Meet Jean Meneses, a midfielder for Chilean first division team, Universidad de Concepción. I’m sure he’s scored some great goals and hit some beautiful passes during his career, but it will be hard to top this truly exceptional dive of his from this weekend’s match against Colo-Colo as his career-defining highlight:

For most of the world’s elite national teams, qualifying for the World Cup is a charade. Sure, Spain and Germany and the other powerhouses have to earn their places into the world’s biggest sporting event, but because those countries are so reliably great, they can generally nab their spot without their fans ever…

Usually soccer teams come out onto the pitch accompanied by little kids, which is cute and all, I guess. As precious as star-struck children can be, though, they don’t compare to these sweet adoptable pups Chilean team Colo-Colo came out with this weekend:

After a lively though scoreless 120 minutes of Confederations Cup soccer between Portugal and Chile, the South Americans advanced to the final on penalty kicks thanks in part to Claudio Bravo but mostly to Portugal’s penalty takers, who were shockingly bad.

For most of the soccer world, this summer’s Confederations Cup is the first time fans will have seen the sport’s much ballyhooed instant replay system live and in action. And as anyone familiar with replay’s fundamental epistemological shortcomings could’ve predicted, the whole process blows.

Chile need to beat Venezuela today to keep pace in CONMEBOL’s final 2018 World Cup qualifying round and they got off to a perfect start this afternoon, scoring three times in the first 22 minutes. Alexis Sánchez hadn’t had a great weekend leading up to the game (he got popped for a speeding ticket) but he erased…

Universidad de Concepción beat O’Higgins 3-1 today in Chile’s Primera division, with the final goal being this stoppage-time screamer by Alejandro Camargo—a 65-yard volley that left O’Higgins keeper Miguel Pinto looking awfully foolish.

This here’s Sebastian Pol. He’s a forward for Chilean side Audax Italiano, and got very mad this weekend after his team lost, 4-1. How mad? Mad enough to jump into the stands and try to decapitate a spectator with his foot.

Look at this cute little Chilean puppy, recognizing that the keeper on the team he supports was in trouble, and channeling his inner Air Bud by running out onto the pitch and making a clutch play to save the day. Good doggie.

Alexis Sanchez had to leave the Copa America final before the penalty shootout on account of Gabriel Mercado caught him with a nasty tackle that left him unable to play past the 104th minute. Chile won anyway, thanks to Messi’s chokejob, but Alexis’ ankle has ballooned up and it looks like the podiatric equivalent of…

The world’s greatest soccer player once again failed to lead his team to a major international trophy as Argentina fell to Chile in penalties 4-2, thanks in part to Messi failing to deliver his PK attempt on target.

Chile vs. Colombia was exciting during the first half, nonexistent for the next two hours, then soggy and boring for the second half. Thankfully, stoppage time featured an amazing moment in Idiot On The Field history, as this enterprising dumbass managed to escape a sizable horde of the security team, run the length…

Chile obliterated Mexico in last night’s Copa América quarterfinal, running up a seven-spot and keeping El Tri scoreless. As is our custom, here are all those goals as called by wrestling legend Jim “J.R.” Ross.

Panama have a chance to knock Chile out of the Copa America and join their CONCACAF friends (USA and Mexico) in the quarterfinals if they beat Chile this evening. Thanks to a terrible pass by a center back and some fumbling goalkeeping work, they got an early lead against the Chileans.

This has just about everything you get from horrible soccer fandom: A bunch of idiots on the field, indiscriminate wielding of metal poles, flares, chairs being used as weapons, riot police, and a match ruined because the guys in the stadium would rather demonstrate their superiority mano a mano rather than…

Seriously, ref? This is what’s hot now? Sure, the ball did hit this Chilean ref in the thigh, and the player did kick it at him in frustration. But acting like he’s just been stabbed in the leg in response? Downright shameful.

Two packed buses set out from Cali, Colombia this weekend heading towards Santiago, Chile to deliver dozens of soccer fans to the site of the two countries’ World Cup qualifying match. Unbeknownst to the fans, they were accompanied by over 1,000 lbs. of cocaine, discretely hidden underneath the seats and floor.