cia Page 220 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Deadspin Special Guest Editor Days Are Here And Waiting For Your Approval
Tomorrow we'll try a risky experiment just for the sake of risky experiments — yes, a strange different voice, will be infiltrating Deadspin tomorrow....

Someone Thinks That East Carolina Should Update Its Logo
The hunt is on for the rapscallion responsible for this: An update of East Carolina University's pirate logo. Yes, it may be time for all pirate-themed teams to turn in their swash, and their buckle....

The New Milton Bradley Is Cool, Calm And Collected
Milton Bradley says he's ready for any abuse that Cubs fans can dish out. That's because he's a new man; all that childish stuff is in the distant past. Ha ha, but anyway ......

Sergio Garcia Says Golf Is Hard!
After finishing 75 and 74 on the weekend, Garcia complained that the course is "too tricky" and not "fair" and something about mudballs in the fairway. Garcia was complaining before he even got to Augusta, he complained during the tournament and now he's complaining after, even trashing the sacred l...

The Prodigal Son Returns, Kind Of
Former Gilroy High, San Jose State and San Francisco 49ers QB Jeff Garcia, 39, is now an Oakland Raider, and may challenge DeMarcus Russell for the starting role. Good one, Al. [San Francisco Chronicle]...

The Scottish Football Association Will Not Abide Your Pantomimed Oral Sex
The Scottish Football Association has banned players Barry Ferguson and Allan McGregor for making the shocking (SHOCKING!) hand gesture seen to your left. Who would've guessed the Scottish Football Association were such pussies? [Guardian]...

Michael Vick Is Still An Idiot
Yesterday, a Virginia bankruptcy court rejected Michael Vick's, um, completely idiotic bankruptcy plan. Why? Perhaps it was a bad idea for a broke, unemployed athlete to claim he needs two houses and four cars....

Mike Krzyzewski, The Final Depantsing
It's not so troublesome that Mike Krzyzewski was in this Guitar Hero commercial; it seems he's spent all season with his pants around his ankles, as other teams run off with his lunch money....

TaylorMade Offers World's Safest Promotion
TaylorMade and Golfsmith.com will refund the cost of your driver if El Nino wins at Augusta. They will also buy you a house if John Daly is ever elected Senator....

America Takes Special Needs Bowling Way Too Seriously
The President of the United States hates you, America, so much so that instead of fixing the economy like he was told to, he went on a silly talk show to trash talk disabled people....

Your NCAA Office Pool Is Illegal, And You Are Headed To Federal Prison
Washington State Gambling Spokeswoman Amy Hunter says that any March Madness bracket pools over $1 are a crime. I wonder how she feels about all the Indian casinos in that state? [Sports Radio Interviews]...

Mr. Armstrong Expresses Displeasure With The French In 130 Characters Or Less (With Update)
Perhaps no athlete has used Twitter to his advantage more than Lance Armstrong; his Twitter Army found his stolen bike, after all. Now, our hero Twitters his outrage at those who stole some his hair....

When Lost In The Georgia Dome, Consult Your Nearest Cheerleader
Tyler Hansbrough went from victory to fail within seconds this afternoon, as he avoided being called for a critical foul in a last-second win over Virginia Tech, but then got lost leaving the court....

Kevin Garnett Breaks Into UCLA Locker Room, Rustles Through Their Stuff
In this new Adidas campaign, Kevin Garnett, Tracy McGrady, Dwight Howard and Josh Smith visit various college locker rooms and try on players' uniforms. Your uncle has a similar problem, but it involves women's clothing....

Boston Is Now Officially Marbury Country
"The Celtics became intrigued with Marbury in the preseason when he averaged 8.5 points and 3.1 assists and went to the free throw line regularly in seven games." [Boston Globe]...

Tiger Is Back And Thinks That's One Tasty Burger
This is the commercial the Golf Channel is running to promote Eldrick's return to the links this Wednesday at 1 p.m. at the Accenture Matchplay Championship....

Andre Smith's Hobbies Include Setting Large Piles Of Money On Fire
The puzzling story of Andre Smith, the University of Alabama's ready-made NFL lineman, continues to frustrate and infuriate NFL Combine geeks who are incensed at Smith's inability to play nicely....

Brother, Can You Spare A Dime...For Johnny Damon Or Xavier Nady?
So, you hear about that Stanford guy (no, not that one) who stole all the money that Bernie Madoff missed? Well, Johnny Damon and Xavier Nady's assets have been frozen while the Feds investigate....

Jeff Garcia Still Being Treated Like Red-Headed Quarterback
Tampa Bay has officially told him that their plans for the future do not include the 39-year-old quarterback: "It is disappointing because I enjoyed the atmosphere and the team environment in that locker room." [ESPN]...