cia Page 222 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Mike Krzyzewski, The Final Depantsing
It's not so troublesome that Mike Krzyzewski was in this Guitar Hero commercial; it seems he's spent all season with his pants around his ankles, as other teams run off with his lunch money....

TaylorMade Offers World's Safest Promotion
TaylorMade and Golfsmith.com will refund the cost of your driver if El Nino wins at Augusta. They will also buy you a house if John Daly is ever elected Senator....

America Takes Special Needs Bowling Way Too Seriously
The President of the United States hates you, America, so much so that instead of fixing the economy like he was told to, he went on a silly talk show to trash talk disabled people....

Your NCAA Office Pool Is Illegal, And You Are Headed To Federal Prison
Washington State Gambling Spokeswoman Amy Hunter says that any March Madness bracket pools over $1 are a crime. I wonder how she feels about all the Indian casinos in that state? [Sports Radio Interviews]...

Mr. Armstrong Expresses Displeasure With The French In 130 Characters Or Less (With Update)
Perhaps no athlete has used Twitter to his advantage more than Lance Armstrong; his Twitter Army found his stolen bike, after all. Now, our hero Twitters his outrage at those who stole some his hair....

When Lost In The Georgia Dome, Consult Your Nearest Cheerleader
Tyler Hansbrough went from victory to fail within seconds this afternoon, as he avoided being called for a critical foul in a last-second win over Virginia Tech, but then got lost leaving the court....

Kevin Garnett Breaks Into UCLA Locker Room, Rustles Through Their Stuff
In this new Adidas campaign, Kevin Garnett, Tracy McGrady, Dwight Howard and Josh Smith visit various college locker rooms and try on players' uniforms. Your uncle has a similar problem, but it involves women's clothing....

Boston Is Now Officially Marbury Country
"The Celtics became intrigued with Marbury in the preseason when he averaged 8.5 points and 3.1 assists and went to the free throw line regularly in seven games." [Boston Globe]...

Tiger Is Back And Thinks That's One Tasty Burger
This is the commercial the Golf Channel is running to promote Eldrick's return to the links this Wednesday at 1 p.m. at the Accenture Matchplay Championship....

Andre Smith's Hobbies Include Setting Large Piles Of Money On Fire
The puzzling story of Andre Smith, the University of Alabama's ready-made NFL lineman, continues to frustrate and infuriate NFL Combine geeks who are incensed at Smith's inability to play nicely....

Brother, Can You Spare A Dime...For Johnny Damon Or Xavier Nady?
So, you hear about that Stanford guy (no, not that one) who stole all the money that Bernie Madoff missed? Well, Johnny Damon and Xavier Nady's assets have been frozen while the Feds investigate....

Jeff Garcia Still Being Treated Like Red-Headed Quarterback
Tampa Bay has officially told him that their plans for the future do not include the 39-year-old quarterback: "It is disappointing because I enjoyed the atmosphere and the team environment in that locker room." [ESPN]...

Panther (Card) Swipe: Muhsin Muhammad Should Pay His Bills On Time
What does Carolina Panthers wideout Muhsin Muhammad have in common with a college freshman? Both have overinflated views of their self worth (hi, bitter Bears fan here) and both have problems with credit cards....

Super Bowl Commercials ... Is There Anything You Can't Do?
Time again for Waxing Off, the feature that will stick by you, even when you're old and destitute. Well, when you're old. This week's topic: Super Bowl advertising....

GoDaddy.Com Reveals Its Annual Suggestive Ad Destined To Anger People
It's always amazing to me that GoDaddy.com scrapes together enough money each year to buy time during the Super Bowl, but they do....

SWF Seeks Any Man Who's Breathing For Matrimony, Possible Attention Whoring
With three days to go, Amy Borkowski is only a few dollars short of her goal to raise $3 million to buy a 30-second Super Bowl ad. Exactly how short? $2,993,795....

The Red Sox Next Big Acquisition Will Be An Angry Cow
From pink hats to cowboy hats: The Red Sox marketing arm teams up with the Professional Bull Riders Association. [Fast Company]...

The Greatest Sportscasters Of All Time; A List That's Sure To Confuse You
Not sure when The American Sportscasters Association put out its list of the top 50 sportscasters of all time, but here it is. Berman's in there! And Joe Buck!...

Singletary Gets The Job, A 69-Yard Field Goal Try, And What's The Deal With Brady's Knee?
Notes from the final week of the NFL regular season, this week with no Brett Favre ......

Jeff Garcia Gets Rattled (and Bloodied) By The Rush
The Deadspin Morning Video Wake Up Call needs your help. If you have any suggested videos to fill this space, email us. Subject: Morning Video Wake Up Call. Tough day for the Buccaneers, whose playoff chances just became more difficult courtesy of the surging San Diego Chargers. Tough day for Jeff ...