cincinnati Page 36 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Watching The Bengals Can Be A Fate Worse Than Death, Says Dying Bengals Fan
"Accepting that the end was near, the funny grandfather and great-grandfather said earlier in the day there was an upside to death: at least he wouldn't have to watch another Bengals loss." [Sports Grid, via Cincinnati Enquirer]...

Marvin Lewis Guarantees A Victory Over The Bills This Week, Because Why The Hell Not?
From the Bengals' head coach's press conference earlier today:...

ESPN's Jenn Brown Doesn't Think Highly Of Bitch Butch Jones
The perils of live sideline reporting are such that even if you catch yourself calling a coach named Butch a bitch (as in, Jones of Cincinnati), a lot of people notice. And giggle. And take video of it and send it in to websites that may or may not post a six-second snippet of said slip....

The Cincinnati Bearcats Think The Cincinnati Bearcats Logo Is Worthy Of Being Protected By Velvet Rope
Welcome to Cincy's most exclusive night club....

Cops: A Couple Of Pounds Of Marijuana Got Shipped To The Home Where Two Cincinnati Bengals Live
"An operation by state narcotics agents that tracked a shipment of high-grade marijuana from Northern California led police to a suburban Kentucky house and two National Football League players, law enforcement authorities said. Cincinnati Bengals teammates Jerome Simpson and Anthony Collins, both ...

Carson Palmer Prefers Tailgating At USC Games To Losing More Games With The Bengals
As noted by Larry Brown Sports, it's tough to tell whether that's a can of Tecate or a Coke in Carson Palmer's right hand outside Saturday's Syracuse-USC game. Not that it matters. Palmer had warned the Bengals he'd retire if they refused his trade demand, and the Bengals chose to move on rather th...

Cedric Benson's Ass Was Showing Yesterday
Your morning roundup for Sept. 19, the day we learned binge drinking can negatively affect your ability to dance. Photo via Mocksession. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Joe Morgan Led The World's Largest Chicken Dance With Attractive Ladies In German Dresses Yesterday
Oktoberfest Zinzinnati got underway in Cincinnati yesterday. In addition to "music from Bavarian band Musikkapelle Hopfenblaesers" and "The World Bratwurst Eating Championship," there was revelry and there was dance....

Reds Scrub Juan Francisco Hit This Home Run All The Way Out Of The Stadium
Holy dear lord. That is a lot of power from Reds third baseman Juan Francisco. That is the kind of power that makes Adam Dunn weep. Juan Francisco could hit a ball this far before he's reached his 150th MLB plate appearance—what can he do next? This is why we—well, someone—watches September baseba...

Joe Morgan Will Lead The World's Largest Chicken Dance For Cincinnati's Oktoberfest
We—all of us, here with our computers and our calculators and our Moneyballs—fired Joe Morgan from ESPN's Sunday Night Baseball last year. Poor Joe now toils in the Cincinnati Reds front office, advising Walt Jocketty on which mediocre outfielder has the most hustle. ("It might be Chris Heisey, but ...

Cedric Benson Will Spend His Bye Week In Jail
Last summer in Austin, Cedric Benson got into a bar fight that we'll rate 0.2 Jordan Jeffersons. He shoved some workers and threw a punch, and was arrested for misdemeanor assault. Today he paid the piper, pleading no contest and being sentenced to 20 days in jail....

Perhaps Bengals Fans Would Be Happier If They Were To Follow Carson Palmer's Lead
It's August 26, the day we keep hearing something about a hurricane that's apparently headed for New York City. Photo courtesy Trey, via @sportsfeeder1. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

There Were 347 Fans At That First Reds-Marlins Game Yesterday
"After the second game of the double-dip, the official attendance number was 22,505, but don't try convincing one of the few actually at the game in person." Like the guy who actually counted them all by hand. [@790Justin, via NYDN]...

This Evening: Still Trying To Score Tickets For That Reds-Marlins Doubleheader?
Your p.m. roundup for Aug. 24, the day we learned how much to tip whom, and for what. Photo credit @johnfayman, via The Big Lead. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Tonight, One Baseball Player Ran His Fingers Through An Opposing Player's Hair
Tipster Michael M. shared this picture he took off of his television after the Reds/Nationals game commenced following a 38-minute delay. It's titled, "Brandon Phillips likes Michael Morse's pretty hair." Anyway, Phillips went 3-for-4 with an RBI while Morse was 0-for-3 with a run in the Nationals'...

Mike Vick Says Roger Goodell Didn't Make Him Go To Philly, But...
So Michael Vick tells Emeritus for GQ that nobody cares about dog-fighting except the media, that white people don't understand where he came from, and that the NFL encouraged him to go play for the Eagles when he pretty much preferred the Bengals or the Bills. Vick, as if on cue, has since clarifie...

This Young Astros Fan Was Not Bashful About Flipping The Reds Off Last Night
The Houston Astros averted their 75th loss of the season last night in no small part because of some leftfielder named J.D. Martinez's two-RBI double to left in the seventh. This was an overwhelmingly awesome moment for one excitable boy fan who flipped a double bird....

Even The Chili Is Considering Cutting Ties With The Bengals
"Gold Star Chili seems to be questioning their sponsorship as the 'Official Chili of the Cincinnati Bengals' ... In the 5 question survey, which you can take here, Gold Star cites some pretty convincing evidence that would lead one to beleive [sic] that the company's major sponsorship of the Bengal...

So Long Ochocinco, And Thanks For The Sombrero
While Chad Ochocinco was thanking God for sending him to New England (or more likely just getting him out of Cincinnati), his now ex-teammate Pacman Jones was helping himself to the contents of Ochocinco's locker. That included modeling the sombrero Chad once pulled out on the field and offering up ...

The Bengals Invite Carson Palmer To Retire
Back in January, former No. 1 draft pick Carson Palmer informed the Cincinnati Bengals that he would "contemplate retirement" if ownership refused to honor his request for a trade. At a press conference today, Bengals owner Mike Brown invited him to begin his contemplation:...