cincinnati Page 40 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Come On Down To Crazy Joe's Big Red Machines!
Always one to stay ahead of the curve, Joe Morgan has decided that now is the time to get into the booming business of auto sales. At Joe Morgan Honda, your starter's Won-Loss Percentage is your credit! [Cincinnati.com]...
Just To Mess With Their Fans' Heads, Bengals Bring In Larry Johnson
Feeling pretty good about that 7-2 record, Bengal backers? In the AFC North driver's seat with a very favorable schedule ahead? Well, Mike Brown can definitely change that. What your team needs is a fourth-string RB with an attitude problem!...
Chad Ochocinco Fined Veinte Mil Dólares By Liga Nacional de Fútbol Americano
¡Ay, caramba! Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver/prop comic Chad Ochocinco has been fined $20,000 by the NFL for jokingly attempting to bribe an official with a dollar bill during last Sunday's game against the Baltimore Ravens....
Derek Jeter Has Really Let Himself Go Since...Last Wednesday
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Cedric Benson Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Cedric Benson, who won the weekend by making the Chicago Bears look foolish. Granted, he's not the first....
Apparently, Paul Brown Stadium Is Also A Very Large Public Urinal
Here's a fun fact: Texans' right guard Chris White pissed his pants against the Bengals on Sunday because he was "uncomfortable," but didn't want to come off the field. Don't worry. Jeff Reed's got his back. [Chronicle; Photo]...
Black Mexican Prevents Black Out
Chad Ochocinco, along with the fine folks at Motorola, bought up the remaining unsold Bengals tickets to prevent a TV blackout on Sunday. Also, if you want to see "Law Abiding Citizen" tonight, he'll pay for that too. [WKRC/Twitter]...
Was This A Missed Field Goal?
Cleveland Browns defensive coordinator Rob Ryan is making a big, passive-aggressive stink about the 31-yard kick you see here, the Bengals' game-winner over the Browns on Sunday. Alleged game-winner....
Lambeau Leap Buddies Were Ochocinco Plants
What would you do if you learned that the greatest moment in Cincinnati Bengals history was a lie? Well, didn't the "coincidence" of three Bengal fans scoring front row tickets at Lambeau on Sunday seem too good to be true?...
NFL Highlight Of The Week: Stokley's 'Miracle' Touchdown
Because the NFL has such a stingy rebroadcast policy, we've decided to recreate the week's best highlight using a white gerbil, a tree frog and actual game audio. Suspend disbelief....
You Are Cordially Invited To The Alvin Keels Pool Party
While the whole Andre Smith contract abortion was playing out, we assumed his agent was working the phones nonstop. Instead, he was making embarrassing videos hyping his pool party....
Why Your Team Sucks: Cincinnati Bengals
Some people are fans of the Cincinnati Bengals. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Cincinnati Bengals. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
Pirate Fans Record First Save Of The Year
A grandfather visiting PNC Park last week had a heart attack in the stands, but was saved when the fan sitting behind him turned out to be a trauma surgeon who managed to bring him back to life....
Bengals Owner Will Not Tolerate Messages From On High
Banners trashing Cincinnati's front office were flying above the team's training camp, until the FAA stepped in — at the behest of Mike Brown. The man can't run a football team, but he sure can control the skies. [WhoDeyRevolution]...
This Is Why NFL Players Die Young
There was a very telling sequence in last night's excellent episode of Hard Knocks that perfectly illustrates the culture of "toughness" that ultimately dooms so many football players to retirements filled with crippling, life-altering pain....
Bronson Arroyo Will Put Just About Anything In His Body
Bronson Arroyo admits that he pumps his body full off all manner of unapproved chemicals and that MLB drug tests don't really concern him. And what about a hardcore steroid user like Manny Ramirez? If he dies, he dies....
What To Expect From "Hard Knocks: Cincinnati Bengals"
The Cincinnati Bengals are not quite the trainwreck they once were, but everyone is still hoping for some kind of entertainment value out of this year's edition of HBO's "Hard Knocks" docudrama. Don't get your hopes up....
This Is A Future NFL Linebacker
How did Bengals tight end Chase Coffman develop his "legendary" toughness? You guessed it ... mutton bustin'. [Bengals.com; pic via]...
Joey Votto: Not Gay, Just Having Terrible Anxiety Attacks
"The one night I was alone, the very first night I was alone, was when I went to the hospital. I couldn't take it. It just got to the point where I felt I was going to die, really." [Outsports/GraneyAndThePig/MLB.com]...
Chad Johnson Loves His Quarterback, Uncomfortable Sexual Metaphors
OchoCinco on his relationship with his Bengal QB: "We're like Brokeback Mountain. I'm going to be with Carson so much in July that I'm going to be the nanny (for his new twins.)" That's not....awkward. [Bengals; PFT]...