cleveland Page 55 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Cavs Should Replace Matthew Dellavedova With This Dog
I would be willing to bet a sizable amount of money that at some point during these NBA Finals, bad basketball player Matthew Dellavedova will throw a wildly inaccurate and embarrassing lob pass. It’s his signature move, after all....
Shaun Livingston's Jumper Is The Poison On The Warriors' Blade
Imagine playing for the Cavaliers, and spending the better part of the last two nights stress-dreaming about how you will possibly be able to survive Steph Curry and Klay Thompson. Then imagine playing in Game 1 of the NBA Finals and escaping their wrath with nothing more than a 20-point flesh wound...
The Warriors Didn't Even Need Their Stars To Wallop The Cavs
Here’s how thorough the whooping the Warriors bench put on the Cavaliers in tonight’s 104-89 beatdown was: Shaun Livingston got a curtain call; the Cavs’ best highlight was a nutshot; Brandon Rush and Timofey Mozgov played; Golden State’s bench outscored Cleveland’s 45-5 before a brief garbage time ...
Matthew Dellavedova Thumps Andre Iguodala In The Dick And Balls
Earlier today, we had Matthew Dellavedova atop our rankings of the most hateable players in the NBA Finals, and he lived up to his billing in short order, striking the first blow against an opponent’s dick and balls. The victim? Andre Iguodala....
Whatever Happens, Anderson Varejão Is Going To Be A Dude With A Championship Ring
The Warriors are a ruthlessly efficient team run by a fiery, undersized center who will take out his anger on your dick and balls and a teeny-tiny point guard who carries himself with a non-insistent swagger, and they’re owned by a techno-libertarian pug who named his dogs after Ayn Rand characters....
Dan Gilbert Is A Child
So you’re still having trouble deciding which NBA Finals team to root against. It’s tough! So many hateable players on both sides. Perhaps the tiebreaker can be found in the owner’s suite....
LeBron James Returned To Cleveland With A Strict, Uncompromising Mentality
During his first go-round in Cleveland, LeBron James was pilloried for all manner of sins—real or perceived—most stemming from the belief that he acted like a tyrant and ran roughshod over the Cavaliers organization. For instance, here is Brian Windhorst the day after The Decision:...
An Extremely Helpful NBA Finals Preview For Basketball Morons
Hello, casual basketball viewer! The NBA Finals begin tonight, pitting LeBron James’s Cleveland Cavaliers against Ayn Rand’s Golden State Warriors in a rematch of last season’s Finals, which the Warriors won in six games. Here’s what to expect, what to look for, and what to pretend to know about eac...
The Hater’s Guide To The 2016 NBA Finals
A few years ago, when my children were very small, I lamented the fact that I had to cut a great deal of sports out of my life. This happens when you have a baby. There’s no time to watch a tetrafinal playoff game because the kid needs to be fed or taken for a stroll or put to bed or have its butt w...
Glory Boy Hot Dog Celebrates Too Early, Gets Bodied By Jason Kipnis
If you’re in a hot dog race, there are no rules. You have to look out for your safety at all times, and not, say, turn around to celebrate only for a passing ballplayer to own you with a vicious shoulder check....
Marlon Byrd Suspended 162 Games
I really don’t want to bury the lede here: Marlon Byrd was still playing baseball, for the Indians, and was having a pretty productive season! But that’s over. The veteran outfielder has accepted a 162-game suspension after a positive PED test....
Francisco Lindor Defeated By Mighty Baseball Bat
The Indians lost to the Rangers, 7-3, tonight and Francisco Lindor lost to his baseball bat, 1-0....
MLB On Colossal Beer Pyramid: "Wow"
What separates man from beast? Humans are weak-skinned bipeds, but our great advantage in this life is our bigass brains. We build. To engineer is human. That’s how we survived in the jungles and took over this planet. Read one way, the story of human history is a long, inexorable march towards the ...
The Cavaliers Are Back In The Finals
Cleveland beat Toronto 113-87 tonight. James Jones will make his sixth straight Finals, a momentous achievement. Good for him. ...
Even Cavs Fans Are Owning The Raptors
The Cleveland Cavaliers took a 100-60 lead into the fourth quarter of tonight’s Eastern Conference finals game, and that’s all you need to know and all I’ll say about what’s happening on the court. Or at least with the basketball players on the court, because this bald-headed Cavs fan got into a fun...
The Raptors Don't Quit
The Raptors’ two most important players right now are a probably-hurt tiny point guard who, until recently, was having a historically-bad playoffs and an offensively inept center who played 22 minutes per game this regular season. That doesn’t sound like a formula for defeating a team led by LeBron ...
Don't Watch This Video If You Happen To Be David Blatt
Are you David Blatt? The guy who coached the Cleveland Cavaliers all the way to the NBA finals last season, but still managed to lose your job after it became apparent that your star players basically saw you as Droopy Dog? Don’t watch this clip from the Cavaliers’ locker room after Game 2 of the Ea...
Brandon Phillips Freaked Juan Uribe Out With A Fake Tag
Major League Baseball is apparently all about fun and mischief tonight, as another NL second baseman tricked a baserunner with a deke. Daniel Murphy got Yoenis Cespedes with a fake throw earlier tonight, and Brandon Phillips caught Juan Uribe loafing off second base with his empty glove. Poor Uribe ...