cleveland Page 57 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Hater’s Guide To The 2016 NBA Finals
A few years ago, when my children were very small, I lamented the fact that I had to cut a great deal of sports out of my life. This happens when you have a baby. There’s no time to watch a tetrafinal playoff game because the kid needs to be fed or taken for a stroll or put to bed or have its butt w...
Glory Boy Hot Dog Celebrates Too Early, Gets Bodied By Jason Kipnis
If you’re in a hot dog race, there are no rules. You have to look out for your safety at all times, and not, say, turn around to celebrate only for a passing ballplayer to own you with a vicious shoulder check....
Marlon Byrd Suspended 162 Games
I really don’t want to bury the lede here: Marlon Byrd was still playing baseball, for the Indians, and was having a pretty productive season! But that’s over. The veteran outfielder has accepted a 162-game suspension after a positive PED test....
Francisco Lindor Defeated By Mighty Baseball Bat
The Indians lost to the Rangers, 7-3, tonight and Francisco Lindor lost to his baseball bat, 1-0....
MLB On Colossal Beer Pyramid: "Wow"
What separates man from beast? Humans are weak-skinned bipeds, but our great advantage in this life is our bigass brains. We build. To engineer is human. That’s how we survived in the jungles and took over this planet. Read one way, the story of human history is a long, inexorable march towards the ...
The Cavaliers Are Back In The Finals
Cleveland beat Toronto 113-87 tonight. James Jones will make his sixth straight Finals, a momentous achievement. Good for him. ...
Even Cavs Fans Are Owning The Raptors
The Cleveland Cavaliers took a 100-60 lead into the fourth quarter of tonight’s Eastern Conference finals game, and that’s all you need to know and all I’ll say about what’s happening on the court. Or at least with the basketball players on the court, because this bald-headed Cavs fan got into a fun...
The Raptors Don't Quit
The Raptors’ two most important players right now are a probably-hurt tiny point guard who, until recently, was having a historically-bad playoffs and an offensively inept center who played 22 minutes per game this regular season. That doesn’t sound like a formula for defeating a team led by LeBron ...
Don't Watch This Video If You Happen To Be David Blatt
Are you David Blatt? The guy who coached the Cleveland Cavaliers all the way to the NBA finals last season, but still managed to lose your job after it became apparent that your star players basically saw you as Droopy Dog? Don’t watch this clip from the Cavaliers’ locker room after Game 2 of the Ea...
Brandon Phillips Freaked Juan Uribe Out With A Fake Tag
Major League Baseball is apparently all about fun and mischief tonight, as another NL second baseman tricked a baserunner with a deke. Daniel Murphy got Yoenis Cespedes with a fake throw earlier tonight, and Brandon Phillips caught Juan Uribe loafing off second base with his empty glove. Poor Uribe ...
LeBron James Is Well And Truly On One Right Now
The Cavs beat the Raptors 108-89 tonight and they’ve now won their first 10 games of the playoffs in a row. The Raptors were in it deep into the second quarter, until the Cavs ripped off a 16-2 run and then they weren’t in it. The 10-game watermark serves as a referendum on both the sickly state of ...
LeBron James Returns To The Scene Of The Crime
Not content with a single rim murder this week, LeBron James tracked down the replacement and jammed it perhaps even more emphatically. Reports indicate that Richard Jefferson planned to serve as an accomplice but got rebuked strongly by James....
Steve Delabar Walked In Four Straight Runs And It Was The Saddest Shit
You ready for some grim baseball, my friends? Then let me tell you about Steve Delabar, the Reds reliever who walked four straight batters with the bases loaded last night....
LeBron James Murders Rim
This evening, an innocent (maybe) basketball ring in Cleveland, Ohio was murdered by LeBron James, after he turned DeMarre Carroll into a garden statue and churned into the lane alone....
Series Of Modest Coincidences Proves Raptors Will Definitely Beat Miami
Who ya got in Game 7 today? If you don’t live in Miami or Toronto, the answer seems utterly moot: The amply rested Cavaliers, having backstroked through the first two rounds of the NBA playoffs, are going to be the overwhelming favorites in the conference finals. Meanwhile the Heat and the Raptors a...
Crunch
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The Atlanta Hawks Are Being Whiny Babies
One of the best things about basketball is that it is not baseball. I enjoy both sports equally, but basketball has always had an edge in the not-employing-humorless-dickwads department, which means you rarely ever see NBA players or coaches talking about “class” or “playing the right way.” The Atla...
Everybody Is In Big Trouble If LeBron Finds His Jumper
There’s not much the Atlanta Hawks can say about the record-setting three-pocalypse the Cavs laid on them last night. Sometimes the ball just won’t stop going in the hoop, and all you can do is turn your palms up, shrug, and move on. What should concern the Hawks, and the rest of the remaining playo...