closer Page 15 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Aubrey Huff Is Jackin' It
Which team has the best record in the American League? Say it with me: Boston Red S ... wait, what? Baltimore Orioles? I'll be damned. Things are so crazy at Camden Yards that they're actually cheering Aubrey "Jackin' It" Huff, whose solo homer in the eighth stood for the Orioles in a 5-4 comeback w...
Gleefully Crushing Playoff Dreams
Since tedious analysis is the stuff of "power rankings," each Monday NHL Closer writer Greg Wyshynski uses a form of universal expression: Success in terms of beer. Before we get to the hockey equivalent of a girly slap-fight, welcome to The Brewmeister Ratings......
That Buzzing In Your Heart? It's A Hornets Nest. Trust Me.
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who can't believe it's only two weeks until the NBA playoffs. When he's requesting a two-month leave of absence from work so he can watch every playoff game, you can find him building a lint ball at Basketbawful. Enjoy! Out. Of. Gas. Memo to Don Nelson: Thi...
Jake Peavy Doesn't Have Hand
Before we get to Sunday's action, here's what they're saying about the Jake Peavy spitball controversy from over the weekend ......
Shades Of A Very Expensive 2003
And there it is. The dreaded comparison: "Detroit is 0-5 for the first time since the Tigers dropped their first nine games in 2003 en route to an AL-record 119 losses." For the record, the 2008 Tigers are in no way similar to the 2003 variety, with the exception of players named Brandon Inge, Jerem...
Blue Jays Fan Bares ... Nothing
What is it about that vast field of indoor turf that compels individuals to sashay onto it? Was it the powder blue throwbacks? That's the only excuse I'm taking on an otherwise standard Blue Jays opening night. Toronto beat the visiting Red Sox 6-3, thanks to Frank Thomas's go-ahead double. Roberto ...
The Golfing In Vancouver Is Lovely
The NHL Closer is written by Greg Wyshynski, of FanHouse and The Fourth Period. He is also the author of Glow Pucks And 10-Cent Beer....
LeBron Talks To The Hand, Hand Says, "No MVP For You!"
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who after last night's cluster of crappy games totally takes back that whole "wishes the regular season was longer" thing. When he's not formally requesting that David Stern burn yesterday's request for a 300-game season, you can find him skipping rope at B...
Take A Peek At Baseball's Next Big Thing
According to my calculations, the last pitcher to strike out 10 in his Major League debut was Daisuke Matsuzaka, last season. The last one to throw five perfect innings in his debut was the immortal Ken Cloude, in 1997 (do you know the team?). And the last Cincinnati Red to do either was ... well, n...
Can You Smell The Sidney/Ovie In The Air?
The NHL Closer is written by Greg Wyshynski, of FanHouse and The Fourth Period. He is also the author of Glow Pucks And 10-Cent Beer....
Welcome Back Everybody!
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who secretly wishes that the NBA regular season was even longer. When he's not formally requesting that David Stern institute a 300-game season, you can find him engaged in thrilling intellectual debates regarding fart jokes at Basketbawful. Enjoy! Agent Ze...
Giants Show Everyone Their Merkin
Tim Lincecum and Merkin Valdez, what an unbeatable duo. Both were instrumental in the Giants' first win of the season on Wednesday, 2-1 over the Dodgers. Witness this AP paragraph, which is my pick for paragraph of the year so far: The Dodgers announced less than 20 minutes before game time that Hon...
The Playoffs Will Bend Your Wookie
The NHL Closer is written by Greg Wyshynski, of FanHouse and The Fourth Period. He is also the author of Glow Pucks And 10-Cent Beer....
The Playoff Hunt Continu ... Mmm, Nuggets Dancers
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who wishes he could rest his starters for the rest of the regular season. When he's not trying to find some starters to rest, you can find him playing with creepy bobbleheads at Basketbawful. Enjoy! Peja Stojakovic is totally clutchtastic. His former Sacram...
Pedro Hears A Pop
You didn't think Mets fans were going to stay happy and optimistic about the season very long, did you? Pedro Martinez pulled/tore/yoinked his hamstring/tendon/groin/anal fissure and very well might miss a few weeks. As if just to rub it in, new reliever Matt Wise gave up a walk-off homer to Robert ...
People Who Aren't Allowed To Touch Stanley This Year
The NHL Closer is written by Greg Wyshynski, of FanHouse and The Fourth Period. He is also the author of Glow Pucks And 10-Cent Beer....
It's April Fools In The NBA, Starring The Western Conference Playoff Race
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who just crumpled up his "Western Conference Playoff Position" spreadsheet and ate it. When he's not trying to make heads or tails of this crazy playoff race, you can find him running suicides at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...
Cubs Still Somehow Manage To Fukudome Themselves
It all looked good for the Cubs, thanks to the mighty bat of Kosuke Fukudome, who went 3-for-3 with the game-tying home run off the hairy useless mess that now inhabits former lights-out closer Eric Gagne. But the Cubs still lost to the Milwaukee Brewers 4-3 in 10 innings. Bobby Howry gave up a sacr...
Soccer? Gay? Whaaaaat?
Leave it up to a foreigner to figure out why Americans are so down on soccer. This snippet culled from an editorial on football.uk.com written by Marty Mercado maps out all the reasons the U.S. ignores the sport: overcommercialization, not enough scoring, too multicultural, and, of course, because i...
David Beckham Is Allegedly Back In The MLS
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....