closer Page 2 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Deadspin Classic: Madness, Glory, And The Self-Correcting Aneurysm
Four years ago, in the World Cup final, France's Zinedine Zidane defended the honor of his whore sister and ended his career in an unimaginably bizarre fashion. Afterward, David Hirshey bid a sad adieu....
David Hirshey Is Your World Cup Historian, Not Your World Cup Closer
David Hirshey wrote regularly for this site about soccer for two years before selling us out to write a terrific book for ESPN. He talked to Emeritus about the book, the World Cup and mustaches....
"Here Are 10 Things To Expect After You Turn 30"
This Black Table article was published, shit, six years ago and I'm encouraged by the fact that it is still as painful now as it was on March 18, 2004. Getting older is not fun. Make it stop....
Hirshey: The Gulf Is Closing, But Not THAT Quickly
David Hirshey is the former soccer expert around these parts and one of the world-famous Soccer Jews. He talked to me, Emeritus, about yesterday's U.S. soccer loss to Brazil....
These Ladies Were Actually 35-Years-Old At The Start Of Sunday's Padres/Diamondbacks Game
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Nine-Fingered Kobe Enough To Stop LeBron James
How confident is Kobe Bryant that he deserves the MVP Award? He intentionally dislocated his right ring finger before their game last night and still dispatched the Cavaliers with relative ease....
Mr. Referee, May I Have A Quick Word With You?
He's actually Jonathan Xavier, the brother of Friar guard Jeff Xavier and all he wants to know is why there was not a foul called on Marquette after his whole family (symbolically) got poked in the eye driving to the hoop. Yes, the game was still in progress, but doesn't he deserve an answer? Don't ...
LeBron Plays The 5-Spot
The Cleveland Cavaliers have played 20 games at home this season; they've won them all. Lebron James headed a makeshift lineup — one that saw him playing 12 minutes at center. James finished the game with 29 points in 43 minutes as the Cavs beat the New Orleans Hornets, 92-78....
You Get Your Money for Nothing and Extra Yao for Free
Two double-overtime games, one overtime game, and one game apiece where either offense or defense was played in the L last night....
Also a Huge Upset This Season: "The Mentalist" Not About Marbury
Can the Celtics' loss to the Warriors really be called "one of the season's biggest upsets" on a night when the Bobcats, Timberwolves, and Grizzlies won?...
Lebron Gets His Back Scratched, And So Do We
Lebron James said the only thing he wanted for Christmas was a back scratcher. "I wanted a back scratcher bad as hell. My girlfriend got me pajamas and a back scratcher."...
Kobe's Heroics Not Enough, Again
The Lakers' first losing streak, and Denver begins losing some of its shine....
So, About That Devin Harris/Jason Kidd Trade ...
Mark Cuban's nightmare continues, the Celtics look unstoppable, and Kobe fails in the clutch....
The Hawks Do Everyone a Favor, Derail King James
Atlanta snaps Cleveland's winning streak, a rare Jerome James sighting, and a debut win for Philly's interim coach....
T-Mac Is Back, and Nobody Can Beat the Celtics Or Cavs
Tracy McGrady nearly put up a triple double in his return from injury while Boston and Cleveland were both victorious. Again....
Closerkkake: Those Guys Really, REALLY Like Florida
Florida and Oklahoma appear poised for a showdown in the BCS Championship. Florida dazzled previously-undefeated Alabama with an array of offensive speed and play-calling, set against the backdrop of a tandem suckoff by Verne Lundquist and Gary Danielson. Last night was the first time I've heard two...
CLOSERKKAKE! An All-Sports Recap So Good You'll Need To Wipe It Off Your Face!
COLLEGE FOOTBALL: Ball State solved a lot of potential BCS bushwhacking when they shit the bed last night against Buffalo, 42-24. Quarterback Nate Davis, whose was climbing on NFL draft boards faster than Tom Cruise onto Katie Holmes (because he's short, see?), led the collapse with four fumbles and...
Is The Big Ten Actually Challenging The ACC?
We are halfway through the 10th Big Ten-ACC Challenge—a made-for-TV showcase that the Big Ten has never won—and the northern aggressors have actually managed to win a few of the contests. It's a tie! Considering that the two previous years the Big Ten entered the final day needing a sweep just to sa...
Another Huge Night For College Basketball's Big Men
All four of these highly regarded young big men (from l to r: Georgetown freshman Greg Monroe, Oklahoma sophomore Blake Grffin, Louisville freshman Samardo Samuels, and Pitt sophomore DeJuan Blair) led their respective teams to wins in last night's college basketball action. Continue after the jump...
The Thunder Lose To The Hornets, Take Two
Chris Paul had a triple double in the Hornets 109-97 win over the Thunder. With 29 points, 16 assists and 10 rebounds, Paul had help from David West who scored a season-high 33 points. Oklahoma City, who fired their coach P.J. Carlesimo Saturday was playing under the guidance of interim coach Scott ...