closer Page 37 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Bullets And Baseball
Notes on Saturday's games in Major League Baseball ......

Beckham Is Here! (And So Is Our Winner)
The day has come, folks: David Beckham's first formal press conference as a member of the MLS is today. DC Sports Bog will be live blogging the presser, and though we're not sure how that's gonna work, it'll likely be entertaining anyway....

A-Rod Would Really Prefer A Smaller Market, And Less Cash
The second half of the season has already begun to delight me: I got to laugh myself silly over Bay Area broadcaster Ted Robinson's speculation that Alex Rodriguez would be signing with the Giants for 2008. Sure, the Giants would love a second shot at one of their players breaking the all-time caree...

Hirshey's First Annual Becksiest Man Alive Contest
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....

The Wind Was Angry That Day, My Friends
"Help! The infield tarp has got me!" If you heard those words, what would you do? The host Colorado Rockies cowered in their dugout, but the Phillies' Shane Victorino is made of stronger stuff. Hearing the panicky cries of Rockies groundskeeper Keros Johnson, who was trapped in the middle of a wind-...

They Were The Games That Never End, Yes They Went On And On My Friend
Omigod, We're Gonna Be Here Forever. It's now time to discuss universal differences between men and their girlfriends regarding extra innings. When the game spills into the 10th inning, guys are usually excited that they are watching extra baseball for free. The girlfriends, meanwhile, are just tick...

It's A Football Score! Get It?
Guys, We Were Closer When We Gave Up 20 Runs. Go ahead. Make the joke. "It's a football score!" Haw haw haw! Because, see, 20-14 is the kind of final score you might see in an NFL game. But you never hear the joke "Wow, maybe they were playing lacrosse!" Or, "Golly, looks like he should have hit on ...

The Adventures Of Chip And Dale
OK, so maybe the Atlanta Braves career home run leaders list isn't the most imposing statistical group in baseball (Ryan Klesko is in the top 10). But Chipper Jones is No. 1, and you can't take that away from him ... at least until Jeff Francoeur passes him in 2012. Jones hit homers from both sides ...

Reborn On The Fourth Of July
What happens when an irresistible force meets an immovable object? You get baseball minutiae! First, the Cardinals just don't lose on the Fourth of July; they've won on that day for the past seven years straight. But the Diamondbacks don't lose when ahead in the late innings; they are 38-3 this seas...

Roger That
Fun fact: The last pitcher to win 350 games — Warren Spahn of the Milwaukee Braves — reached the milestone on Sept. 29, 1963; a 2-0 victory over the Chicago Cubs. The Braves' catcher that day? Joe Torre. On Monday Torre watched the feat again, this time sans cup, as Roger Clemens won No, 350 in an e...

It's Alright To Cry, Seattle
As you most likely know by now, Mike Hargrove shocked the Mariners on Sunday by announcing his resignation before his team's 2-1 win over the Blue Jays, eliciting tears from, among others, Jose Guillen. But it's OK, Mariners' fans; let it all out. As Rosey Grier taught us in the classic Sesame Stree...

Fan Protests Can Be Therapeautic
• You Did It, Fans! Last night's fan walk-out at PNC Park magically fixed the Pittsburgh Pirates, I'm happy to report ... either that, or the Nationals just happen to suck worse than the Pirates. The Buccos won 7-2, thanks to a solid performance from Tom Gorzelanny, and also to the 1,000 or so peopl...

Barry Hits #750, Loses Game, Wins A Friend
• Miguel Montero > Barry Bonds. Barry hit #750 last night, a 3-2 breaking ball over the rightfield wall that delighted people all over ... well, Pac Bell Park. He's now just 5 short of Hank Aaron, but he does trail Diamondback Miguel Montero in the statistical category of "people who won baseball ga...

Looking At The Nationals' Mascot In A Whole New Light
The American Bald Eagle was officially removed from the endangered species list today, meaning that, what, it's now OK to go out and shoot them? Of course not. With one exception, hopefully....

Water Covers 70 Percent Of The Earth's Surface; Manny Covers The Rest
Using his uncanny speed and catlike reflexes, Manny Ramirez could probably patrol the entire outfield by himself if he wanted to. But that would probably just dishearten the other two guys and cause team dissension, so he restricts himself to left. In fact, like Clark Kent, Manny has to tone it down...

Boog Powell Would Never Had Stood For This
We just thank God that Roger Clemens wasn't around to see this. Clemens, exercising the Unlimited Vacation clause in his contract, was in Connecticut when Scott Proctor walked in the winning run in the Orioles' 3-2 victory over the Yankees on Tuesday. Evidently mindful that it was Serious Heart Cond...

Hirshey: Down And Out In Barcelona
David Hirshey writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin....

Paris Hilton Gets Out Of Jail, This Guy Goes In ... It's The Circle Of Liiiffe ...
We knew that once you begin letting fans vote on the All-Star roster, it's only a matter of time before some of them begin leaping onto the field to make pitching changes. This "numbskull," as the Chicago Sun-Times described him, was just a few feet from reaching Cubs pitcher Bob Howry in the ninth ...

The Clemens-Bonds Matchup Pretty Much No One Was Waiting For
Notes from a day in baseball:...

Paul Lo Duca's Inspiring Idiocy
• I'm Sorry, Italians. Paul Lo Duca calls it a "good Italian temper," but I'm going to choose to think a little more highly of the Italian-American population, and call Lo Duca's display childish, dumb, and embarrassing. The idiot Mets catcher was thrown out of the game for arguing balls and strikes...