closer Page 6 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
They're Not Booing, They're Saying 'Drewwwww' ... Oh Wait, Yeah, They're Booing
It was in the Simpsons episode Marge and Homer Turn a Couple Play that Homer, disgusted at a player during an Isotopes game, hurls various batteries onto the field, following it up by throwing an electric drill. J.D. Drew knows the feeling. Each time he plays in Philadelphia, the calm, measured Cit...
All Hail The Red Menace
“I follow the Moskva Down to Gorky Park Listening to the wind of change…” – Scorpions, ‘Wind of Change’...
Rediscovering Those Italiana Roots
“Forza Italia.” That’s the homemade sign I made with magic markers and posted outside my house before the 1994 World Cup Final between Italy and Brasil....
One Game In, And Jerry Manuel Is Already Wondering Why He Took This Job
So why did the firing of Willie Randolph occur so late on Monday night (Tuesday morning, actually)? Turns out that Mets general manager Omar Minaya actually flew to Anaheim, checked in to the team hotel and waited to deliver the news to Randolph person....
There's No Stopping The Green Monster
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who plans to spend the day celebrating the Boston's long-awaited 17th title. This almost makes up for Larry Bird transforming into a fat gremlin. When he's not doing green and white shots, he can be found trying not to toss his cookies at Basketbawful. Enjo...
Austria Gets Its Rocco Mediate On
“You got no fear of the underdog/that’s why you will not survive!” – Spoon, ‘The Underdog’...
Sinking Mariners Jettison GM, Yet Richie Sexson Continues To Have A Job
Baseball's biggest upset so far this season? How Mariners manager John McLaren outlasted Mets manager Willie Randolph. Of course the Mariners did fire general manager Bill Bavasi on Monday, replacing him with associate GM Lee Pelekoudas, who will serve on an interim basis. Meanwhile, Seattle is 22 ...
Even Soccer Haters Would Love This One
“When I have to watch that pile of eight tapes over there for Dwayne Richards' two-day Nibbler performance, that's 48 straight hours of paying attention and making sure he's doing everything correctly.” – Robet Mruczek, ‘The King of Kong’...
Cardinals Are Just Barely Hanging On
In George Carlin's noted examination of the differences between baseball and football, he describes baseball as "A 19th century pastoral game. Baseball begins in the spring; the season of new life. The idea is to go home. I just want to go home." True, for the most part; save for the occasional har...
The Finals Are Goin' Back To Beantown
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who can't decide whether he likes the fact that ginormous leads are not safe when these teams play. When he's not silently wondering what's going to happen in Game 6, he can be found staring into space with a contemplative look at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...
Presenting Dr. Joe Morgan's Players Of The Day
Caught up in all the hysteria this weekend was Joe Morgan being awarded an honorary doctorate from California State University-East Bay. Don't be too impressed, because I'm pretty sure one summer those came free with the purchase of an In-N-Out Burger combo of equal or lesser value....
A Pox, Ye Shall Receive Twenty Lashes
So you know what's a good baseball score? 6-4. Everyone scores a little, the game's close, and even with a runner on in the 9th, there's always a chance this beaut could be tied up. Know what's a bad score? 20-2. Those are the scores that make the casual fan cringe. Boy am I glad that's not my team....
Croatians Party Like Rock Stars
I am your main man if you're looking for trouble I'll take no lip 'cause no ones tougher than me If I kicked your face you'd soon be seeing double Hey little girl, keep your hands off me 'cause I'm a rocker – Thin Lizzy, ‘The Rocker’...
So What's With All The Grand Slams All Of A Sudden?
So how come all the fat pitches with the bases loaded the past few days? Hideki Matsui celebrated his 34th birthday with a grand slam on Thursday to lead the Yankees over the Athletics 4-1; helping Andy Pettitte move into a tie for fourth place on the team career wins list....
Truly Epical Failurosity
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who almost feels sorry for the Lakers after last night's debacle. Okay, not really. When he's not dancing his little victory jig, he can be found thanking Sturla for the graphic at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...
Milton Bradley Would Like To Have A Word If You've Got A Minute
So Texas Rangers general manager Jon Daniels said that Milton Bradley was "acting cordially" and "wanted to set the record straight" after Bradley's near confrontation with TV play-by-play man Ryan Lefebvre following their game with the Royals Wednesday. Yep, that's exactly how it sounds to me:...
Soccer Can Be Pretty, And Soccer Can Be Very Ugly
Either you get it, or you don’t....
Pujols Breaks Down, Will Not Be Shot
We all know that Ken Griffey Jr. is injury prone, but is it communicable? No sooner had the Cardinals landed in Cincinnati than Albert Pujols pulled up lame — strained calf — and had to be taken off the field in a wheelbarrow. Earlier he had teamed with Super Friend Rick Ankiel for back-to-back home...
The Mamba And The Machine
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who kind of thinks that Sasha Vujacic looks like Steve Nash's evil, retarded clone. When he's not wondering whether scientists should do a DNA check on those guys, he can be found building the world's largest ball of belly button lint at Basketbawful. Enjoy...