cnn Page 1 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Do people actually work less during March Madness? If not, they should start
A handful of weekdays on the sports calendar truly command Americans’ attention from coast to coast. Of course, one is Super Bowl Sunday, which results in National Hangover Day at work on Monday. Then there are the first two days of the Men’s NCAA Basketball Tournament. Games start at noon EST and e...
Football Knowers Trip Over Their Dicks To Talk About Good Guy Robert Kraft
Patriots owner Robert Kraft was charged today with two counts of soliciting prostitution, in connection to a police sting on massage parlors in Florida. Judging by the way some pundits are discussing him, though, you’d get the sense that he’s their sweet old grandpa who fell seriously ill....
Don't Doubt What You Saw With Your Own Eyes
Two days ago, video was posted online that pretty much everyone who saw immediately recognized for what it was—footage of white teens taunting and harassing a Native American elder named Nathan Phillips on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. What was happening was clear and unmistakable, not just res...
Is Donald Trump Really "The Michael Jordan Of Political Nicknames?"
Chris Cillizza’s job isn’t as easy as it seems, although it also isn’t nearly difficult enough to justify the salary he receives for doing it. What that job is even supposed to be is kind of a moving target, to be honest, but much of what Cillizza does in his current position as a political reporter...
There Is Nothing CNN Can’t Fuck Up <em></em>
By now, you know the saga of the Trump CNN tweet: a clumsy wrestling .gif the president sent out (with no hat tip!) that triggered the usual round of establishment tut-tutting and, at first, promised to be yet another disposable Trump mini-scandal that occupied everyone for two minutes before moving...
CNN War Propagandist Promotes Syrian Attacks: "This Is Not Like Kentucky Basketball"
Resident CNN war flack James “Spider” Marks excitedly promised an extended war against Syria, as the visibly engorged retired U.S. Army major general contrasted tonight’s use of more than 50 Tomahawk missiles against John Calipari’s Kentucky basketball program, stating that “this is not [...] one an...
Donald Trump Says U.S. Media Ignored These 78 Terror Attacks
Yesterday in Tampa, Donald Trump complained that the “very, very dishonest press” purposely ignores acts of terror around the world. When pressed for examples, the White House last night released a list of 78 incidents it called terrorism that it says were overlooked by U.S. national media. That li...
What's About To Happen To CNN
For the journalists at CNN—everywhere, really, but especially at CNN—now is an appropriate time to become very afraid. ...
CNN Unsure If Trump Should Take Political Risk Of Acknowledging Jews Are People
If you tuned in to CNN earlier today, you might have found yourself greeted by a chyron that could have been ripped straight out of a Newt Gingrich Nazi fanfic: Alt-Right Founder Questions If Jews Are People. The real question, of course, is whether our president-elect should distance himself from a...
CNN's Van Jones: "This Was A White-lash Against A Changing Country"
CNN commentator Van Jones took to the airwaves well past midnight on election night and talked openly about the fear many were feeling, as well as the growing sentiment that this was a “white-lash” after eight years of having a black man as president. ...
Trump Surrogate Criticizes Hillary Backer Jay Z For Video Featuring "Mazel Tov Cocktail"
Scottie Nell Hughes is still promoting Donald Trump on CNN despite her having been verbally assassinated on-air by Ana Navarro last month. Tonight, she stood up for her candidate after Trump attacked Beyoncé and Jay Z, who appeared with Clinton at a rally this weekend—but got one slight detail wrong...
Crazy Trump Supporter Pushes CNN's Brooke Baldwin To The Edge
We don’t know where CNN keeps finding these wackjobs, but we’re glad they keep putting them on television. Here’s a GOP leader from Kansas named Vicki Sciolaro pushing anchor Brooke Baldwin to a point of no return, with talk of harlots, the “Oral Office,” and dismembered babies, all in an attempt to...
Ana Navarro Obliterates Trump Surrogate Offended That She Keeps Quoting Donald Trump
Trump surrogate and CNN commentator Scottie Nell Hughes got angry with fellow commentator Ana Navarro tonight for directly quoting Donald Trump’s “grab them by the pussy” line. It did not end well for Scottie Neil Hughes....
CNN has a detailed account of how the “Grab them by the pussy” tape got leaked. Apparently, an NBC producer recalled the existence of the tape on Monday after Trump made sexist comments on Alicia Machado. Access Hollywood was working on reporting the story out and airing the tape, when David Farenth...
Marco Rubio On Whether He’ll Do His Job: “No One Can Make That Commitment<em></em>”<em></em>
Marco Rubio, a former presidential candidate who got trounced in his own state and is best known for never showing up to work, wants to be your senator, kind of. Because while he almost certainly wants to get elected, he just can’t say that he’ll be around to actually do the job itself. ...
Ted Cruz Has Something Important To Say To The American People
Things got weird tonight at the Republican National Convention. Erstwhile Donald Trump enemy Ted Cruz took the stage, and boy did he have a lot to say....
CNN Anchor Talks Powerball, Is Extremely Bad At Math
There’s a good chance that at some point this week your dumbest Facebook friend—Craig, I’m guessing—shared that stupid meme claiming that the $1.3 billion powerball jackpot could in fact solve poverty in America. Turns out CNN news anchor Chris Cuomo is just as dumb as that poor idiot Craig....
CNN's Poppy Harlow Passes Out Live On-Air
Poppy Harlow’s Monday isn’t going so well; the CNN anchor passed out live on the air, returning after several minutes with the explanation that “I got a little hot and I passed out for a moment”:...